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So many doors close behind us as we age. I started thinking the other day of when it first really hit me that you can’t enter back into a part of your life that’s over. For me, it was a year after transferring out of my first job after school. It was a dream first job, with interesting work, good supervisors, and a group of coworkers that were young, single, really liked each other, and socialized together all the time on weekends. I spent three years there. When I transferred to another division, I’d go back occasionally at lunch, and still met up with everyone on weekends. Then one day, about a year later, I wandered back at lunchtime, and there was a new person in the office. She didn’t know me, and asked if she could help me with anything. How could she not know me? This was my place! I had a sudden vision of the whole friendly, comfortable crowd drifting off to other jobs, other offices, until my safe happy place was gone. And that happened, gradually at first, then the whole division was moved to another state.
I’m not saying this is a sad thing. We all moved on to other interesting jobs, colleagues, locations. Friends from a shared interest took over the main part of my social life, rather than friends from work. It was a good time, but there have been other good times. But it was one of those epiphanies we go through on the way to growing up, that it’s not about me, it never was about me, that other people are not going to stand still with their lives to be there waiting for me. I suppose this is what eventually makes us independent and self reliant adults, that we look inside ourselves for what is important, and carry within what we need to be happy as things change around us.
So I’m just wondering if any of you had one of those moments you’d like to share, when you first realized things really do end, and you can’t turn back even if you wanted to.
We relocated from my husband's home state to Texas three years ago. The city I remember has changed so very much, more traffic, filth, mean people, construction, etc.
There are some aspects that I enjoy but they are not enough for me to stay. I bear no allegiance to my town anymore.
No. I haven't had the same experience. My last job didn't include any co-workers. My jobs before that didn't include co-workers I cared about.
Since then, I have volunteered with people I would really miss if I was separated from them. But, overall, I can't relate to what you're talking about.
I had a recent one, although not the first. I've been retired for about 3 years now. I had my own consulting business. One of my old clients recently sent me an e-mail to see if I wanted to do some work for him. I realized that I've been out of that environment for so long it would take too long to ramp up again to do the job. I didn't want to do it, but it was the first time since I retired that I realized I probably couldn't do it.
Well, I’m taking your question literally. “Home” for me is Vermont. I’ve always felt I could go home and I have frequently. My career years were in Wisconsin, and I returned to “home” and family once or twice every year. I now live in Southern California and am looking forward to going “home” again this fall.
My oldest taking his first professional job in his chosen career. Full on adult supporting himself and living a few states away.
The youngest turning 18.
I am about to turn 60; past the age where I could get retirement funds without penalty. It's only been recently that I have let go of some of my "someday I want to" dreams that have just become far too unlikely. I lost a lot of weight and got in really good shape but when I look in the mirror I don't see the younger me I feel like.
Nope. Once I got out there was NO WAY I was ever going back again. That would be like standing in front of a bonfire and CHOOSING to just jump in the middle of the whole conflagration.
Beautiful timely topic for me. We left out home state in 1997 and came back in 2011 but to a beachy retirement part of the state. It's still not working for us. I think we're like those shrinky dink sponge toys that once were exposed to moisture we don't fit back into the packaging.
When my parents moved 800 miles away.
I'm still close friends with people I worked with in 1972 and If I landed on their doorstep they would take me in and I'd do the same for them. I had a lot of jobs and a lot of miles after that and when I finally walked away at retirement I never went back to visit. The job had already changed to the point that I didn't want it under the prevailing circumstances for about the last year.
Since retirement, I moved 1000 miles from my home state and wild horses could not drag me back there to live. You see things more clearly when you are gone from a place and wonder why you stayed so long.
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