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When I was little, I heard "Vietnam" and "Viet Cong" on the TV news all the time. I knew there was a war, but I didn't know why, so I asked my mother why we were in a war.
A year or so later, my fourth-grade teacher asked the class if anyone knew why we were at war in Vietnam. I proudly raised my hand and said, "The Russians want everyone to be atheists, so we are fighting a war in Vietnam so that people can still go to church." My teacher looked at me with a withering stare, and said, "WHO told you THAT?" and then turned away.
I was stunned. MY MOTHER had told me that. At that moment, I started to think that maybe she didn't know everything after all.
I think the problem was that most of us didn't know why we were fighting a war in Viet Nam. I remember hearing it was because the communists wanted to take over and then they would be trying to bring it here to the US. Never made sense to me that people living in a such a small jungle country halfway around the world would be bringing anything here. Although, in today's world they do send us clothing.
My stomach would explode if I drank water after eating cucumber salad, I l still love cucumber salad.
I will drown if I swam in the river after eating.
Adults lie at funerals about the person that has passed away. I ask my mom about someone that everyone considered to be a complete bastard all his life, and yet to be so great at his funeral. She said God forgives, I said that’s a lot of bull, and unfair.
My grandmother was very religious and superstitious, she could look at the sky and tell if someone died. She told me she knew the minute my father was killed. Sometimes, she did have evil eyes.
Don't swallow watermelon seeds or they will grow in your stomach!
I was freaked out when my mother mentioned that potatoes had "eyes". I then refused to eat them so she would show me the newly peeled potatoes (never the peelings) and say these were the kind of potatoes without "eyes". I was really relieved that some grew that way!
I was told I was special to the Easter Bunny. Thing was, I didn't like eggs. So to get me to eat them, the thought back then that they were good for one, they died eggs for me year round. I still didn't like the eggs but I would eat them. I had to eat them because the Easter Bunny would also leave me cookies and candy some of the time. That meant I had to stay on his good side.
Once I found out there was not an Easter Bunny I didn't eat eggs anymore. I discovered that when I was about four and someone left a package of food coloring with the picture of the Easter Bunny on it. My Mother was more or less caught red handed. Once she confessed that I was right, that there was no Easter Bunny, my first comment was "that means there is no Santa, either!" That made my Mother cry......she said she wanted me to believe for a few more years. I was her fifth child, she should have been better at telling kids lies by then - LOL!
Don't swallow watermelon seeds or they will grow in your stomach!
I was freaked out when my mother mentioned that potatoes had "eyes". I then refused to eat them so she would show me the newly peeled potatoes (never the peelings) and say these were the kind of potatoes without "eyes". I was really relieved that some grew that way!
I got the watermelon seed sprouting story too. I wonder why they didn't want us to eat the seeds?
My mother's favorite lie was kinda mean. I asked about a bear I had, wondering where it had gone and she said there never was such a bear. Turns out she had a falling out with the woman who gave it to me and threw it out.
Same with a red coat. It was pretty raggedy and she threw it out. I remembered it the next winter and asked her where it was. She said we never had a red coat. Of course I didn't know she threw it out at the time, and I wondered why I remembered stuff that never happened. Mom wouldn't lie, right?
When I was 5, my father had back surgery. When my mother took me to the hospital to visit him, I noticed the TV mounted high on the wall and asked how anyone could change the channel. (I had no idea about remote controls). He said "oh, you just hold your hand in the air and pretend to turn the dial". Here he demonstrated. So I tried it and what do you know, it worked! I had no idea he was using a remote while my attention was diverted.
Parenthood seemed to be one long forever lie I couldn't escape. My mother's favorite lie was "I never spoke to my mother that way." Believe me, she did too. The biggest lies i remember are "Santa is watching", " I promise it won't hurt" (it ALWAYS did) and "If you keep that up, your face will freeze that way" It NEVER did. There were rules for everything. "Don't crack your knuckles you'll have arthritis by the time you're 15." "Children can't drink coffee, it will stunt your growth" the clincher? "Money isn't everything". Oh. Well, it certainly was something.
I also remember my parents saying eat your food as there are people in China starving. I have come up with my own thing I say to little kids. 'When I was your age, all we had to eat on our plate was our reflection"
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