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This thread is born out of fluffythewondercat's thread about what your parents taught you. They suggested it might be good for a thread....
So, not only have I morphed into looking like my short bald father, (even though i am taller), but I find myself quoting him, and often quoting mother.
'As my mother used to say....' or ' mother always said/never said...' comes out of my mouth often...ugh, lol
Fortunately my father is not (yet) turning into a bitter old man like my FIL.....
So: what do you find yourself saying or doing that was/is like your mother or your father?
I second jim9251's post. My parents had 6 kids. I was 5th out of six. My dad was 45 when I was born. My 3 older brothers were the golden ones. I was the forgotten child. When they paid attention to me it was for punishment. I have tried to be the exact opposite of them. I think I've succeeded fairly well.
My mom was a happy outgoing person. My dad a quiet reader. I do both. Love to stay home and read and piddle around the house. Oh and take in animals. But when I am out and about - the life of the party - sort of. LOL!
I've always been very much my father's daughter, not only in looks -- in a frame I have a photo of each of us at age 17 and we look like identical twins except for gender -- but also in temperament and outlook on life. Even to the extent of us both being motormouths (I am sure that if he'd ever had a computer/internet he'd spend the entire day in forums like this one, LOL.) I was an only child and loved being one.
It's only in the last several years that I see one of my mom's characteristics surfacing in me, and only in one respect: I now jump mentally/emotionally to the "worst case scenario" in anything involving my health. However, this may have been either brought out or directly caused by being hit with cancer at age 60 and then two years later with a cascade of new health problems or issues. Before that, I never used to actively worry about things like "how will I/will I ever be able to do this same thing when I'm 80? 85? 90?!" That kind of thing was my mom's mindset (worrying and negatively projecting everything) but never my dad's.
It makes me very angry at myself when I fall into that trap because it was the thing that bothered me the most about my mom.
The basic values are there- love your children and grandchildren, live on less than you make, don't run up debt except for a mortgage, go to church on Sundays, try to do some good in the world.
The superficial aspects are very different. I remember talking to my aunts in the 1970s about the feminist literature I was reading and how I was going to have a career. I overheard them reassuring my mother later that "she'll come around". My mother, bless her, replied that she wasn't worried and I could choose my own direction. Which I did.
I had a great career and one child; she was a stay-at-home Mom and had 5. She and Dad were married over 60 years when she died two years ago. I divorced my first husband and remarried. She and Dad traveled to a lot of places in the US, Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean but never to Europe- she wasn't interested. I've been to over 30 countries and I'm not done yet. I've met a new guy on a dating site; if she'd been widowed at 63, as I was, I assure you she wouldn't be hunting for a new man- Dad was her HS sweetheart and I don't think she'd consider anyone worth of following him. They were devout Roman Catholics. I'm an Episcopalian and hang out with lesbian priests.
Actually, I look a lot like my mother but my life has been very different. The lovely thing is that I have a DIL who is very much like Mom- SAHM, expecting their 3rd child in June. I'm very glad she and Mom got to know each other when Mom was alive.
I am VERY much like my mother in personality (reserved, introverted), but as far as quoting her, I don't think I ever did with my kids because most of it was either a cliche' ("Why should a man buy a cow when he can get the milk for free?") or hurtful ("One day you'll have kids, and then I hope you'll understand what I have had to put up with" or "Sometimes I don't think you use the brain you were born with").
My sister and I called my mom, "the martyr" (not when she was in hearing distance, though!) -- and, yes, she DID have a very hard life until she was in her late 50's (she's 86 now) -- but I made a pact with myself to never do the 'martyr act' with my own kids and intentionally make them feel guilty for not being perfect and/or for just making the normal noise that kids make.
One thing I am very much like her, though, is that I absolutely hated buying anything besides food, books or music that wasn't on sale or clearance until very recently, now that I know that I can afford it.
Last edited by katharsis; 01-07-2019 at 09:20 AM..
I am trying to resist becoming like my father, but I am sure we're alike in some ways. That's not all bad, but there are traits I'd like to think I can avoid, time will tell.
Besides, I doubt any of us could be completely objective about the similarities...
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