Retirees,group restaurant tab: split even or math out what each eats?? (Canada, trouble)
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I think it’s regional also. I never even though to get separate checks until I read this thread. Even when I wanted to chip in more because I had an extra glass of wine, other diners genuinely protest. If one person has a much bigger meal they pick up the check for 2. Going out to dinner is a social thing it seems somehow unsociable to get separate checks. I guess that sounds strange to most of you. I should also add that most of my friends are very comfortable. On occasion I do go out with someone who I know is not financially secure and I usually pick up the bill or make sure I order light.
I’ll add that when my husband and I go out with a single friend we almost always pick up the tab and if I’m the 3rd wheel it’s usually paid for. Every few times the single will pick up the check.
And birthday dinners are usually covered by the host but not always. I personally hate chipping in to those 10-15 people dinners because I don’t carry that much cash.
Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum
We used to split birthday meal bills when I was in my 20s.
At my older age it seems more appropriate for the host to pick up the bill. I can’t imagine any nice restaurant keeping a record of 15 bills with separate drinks, and desserts being ordered mid meal for a large table. In nyc an automatic 20% tip would be added and no way would they give separate checks.
I'm almost 68 and have been to plenty of birthday meals over the last 40 years. Never once has the host (the person having the birthday) picked up the check for everyone at a restaurant. Of course, if the person having the birthday has a party or dinner at their home it is different, but at a restaurant, Nope.
Even if someone else organizes the restaurant meal (so they are the "host" not the person having the birthday) no one in my social circle could ever afford to pick up the entire check for 10 to 15 people. Your crowd must be different than mine.
If I had to pick up the bill for a group I would not be going. That’s ridiculous. However, if I am throwing a birthday party for someone it’s at my house.
I'm almost 68 and have been to plenty of birthday meals over the last 40 years. Never once has the host (the person having the birthday) picked up the check for everyone at a restaurant. Of course, if the person having the birthday has a party or dinner at their home it is different, but at a restaurant, Nope.
Even if someone else organizes the restaurant meal (so they are the "host" not the person having the birthday) no one in my social circle could ever afford to pick up the entire check for 10 to 15 people. Your crowd must be different than mine.
That’s why I said it’s regional. Im sharing a view from my life and yes my crowd may be different from yours. Usually the birthday person, spouse, or children organizes the meal at a restaurant. A friend may host a dinner at their house but I don’t see the friend organizing and picking up the tab at a restaurant.
If I had to pick up the bill for a group I would not be going. That’s ridiculous. However, if I am throwing a birthday party for someone it’s at my house.
I get it. I kind of like picking up the tab. Makes me feel good on my birthday.
I think it’s regional also. I never even though to get separate checks until I read this thread. Even when I wanted to chip in more because I had an extra glass of wine, other diners genuinely protest. If one person has a much bigger meal they pick up the check for 2. Going out to dinner is a social thing it seems somehow unsociable to get separate checks. I guess that sounds strange to most of you. I should also add that most of my friends are very comfortable. On occasion I do go out with someone who I know is not financially secure and I usually pick up the bill or make sure I order light.
I’ll add that when my husband and I go out with a single friend we almost always pick up the tab and if I’m the 3rd wheel it’s usually paid for. Every few times the single will pick up the check. And birthday dinners are usually covered by the host but not always. I personally hate chipping in to those 10-15 people dinners because I don’t carry that much cash.
Yes, that's what we were saying upthread, and you are from my neck of the woods so it definitely is regional.
The other day my S.O. and I stopped for a bite in a little place not in my neck of the woods. He got a bagel and a cup of coffee, and I got a bowl of soup and a biscuit. When we were ready to go, the server asked us if we needed separate checks. We were both kind of startled at the question.
I too often pick the check up for a friend of mine whose only income is Social Security. She cooks for me a couple of times a month when I come over and we play cards. She likes to cook for somebody, and I like to eat what other people cook, so it works out well. I don't mind picking up the restaurant tab for her here and there. I think it evens itself out, and I don't mean as far as counting the pennies goes.
I also watch what I order depending upon whom I'm with, but I wouldn't suggest a pricier place when going out with people who I know might be on a tight budget.
Whole thread is too long to read. But here, among my friends, groups of women tend to work out what they have spent and mixed groups and groups of men tend to split the bill.
But we have many places where you line up and pay, receiving either a buzzer or a number to get your food. Apparently they are increasingly common as people do not like splitting bills, especially for multi-generational meals. So if grandfather wants a nice dessert whereas mother wants another glass of wine, no-body gets stressed about it.
I cannot afford to pick up the check for other people. Nor do I want others to pick it up for me.
I don't have anywhere near 10-15 friends to go out with either. I'm a single lady who typically goes out with one other single friend of similar financial means. We have an unspoken agreement that we each pay for what we personally owe; we do not expect the other person to pick up the check for both of us. From time to time, I might pick it up for a very good friend and only at her birthday but not routinely.
I cannot afford to pick up the check for other people. Nor do I want others to pick it up for me.
I don't have anywhere near 10-15 friends to go out with either. I'm a single lady who typically goes out with one other single friend of similar financial means. We have an unspoken agreement that we each pay for what we personally owe; we do not expect the other person to pick up the check for both of us. From time to time, I might pick it up for a very good friend and only at her birthday but not routinely.
I posted on this thread to give another perspective. Obvs with my screen name, I value food and love sharing meals with other people who love food. I hope I haven’t made anyone feel defensive or bad because I may have more disposable income - most of us live within budget shaped by personal priorities. It’s ok to appreciate fancy sauces and wine. I also value giving money to people who need basic nutrition so you can’t guilt me on that one.
I posted on this thread to give another perspective. Obvs with my screen name, I value food and love sharing meals with other people who love food. I hope I haven’t made anyone feel defensive or bad because I may have more disposable income - most of us live within budget shaped by personal priorities. It’s ok to appreciate fancy sauces and wine. I also value giving money to people who need basic nutrition so you can’t guilt me on that one.
Ha, same here. And when you spend money on food eating out, you are supporting the wait staff, chefs, and other restaurant personnel, in addition to the owner. People have jobs because other people will pay to have someone else cook and serve their food. Nothing to be guilty about there, either.
If I had to pick up the bill for a group I would not be going. That’s ridiculous. However, if I am throwing a birthday party for someone it’s at my house.
No, that seems something that would have to be done on a strictly volunteer basis and your own idea.
Every year on Mother's Day one of my brothers-in-law treats my sister, my mother, myself, and anyone else in the family who can come to a wonderful brunch at a local country club. That's something he decided to do about seven or eight years ago and keeps doing every year. I have offered to kick in, but he turns it down.
That's a different story, though. People should know before they go out what the payment arrangements are expected to be.
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