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Our group all pays their own checks simply because some spend a lot more than others on drinks...etc. We are retired living on a fixed income, not all of us have deep pockets but we all still enjoy getting out to eat once in a while with friends. For those that can afford to spend more, God bless them. We all deserve to be able to get out and enjoy the company of others without judgment.
Agree with the above poster. I don't care what others eat or drink and I'm certainly not trying to guilt trip people here about their choices but I don't want to be guilt tripped about not subsidizing others' bills either. And those who feel $10 or $20 is no big deal (and maybe $50), that's your opinion and you're entitled to it. I don't share that opinion. As I said, I will give $10 or $20 or even $50 to those in need if I should choose, not to those who certainly have the financial means to pay for their own drinks and meals. My opinion wasn't meant to guilt trip anyone.
I didn’t realize it was the same custom in Boston.
OK, let me be more specific. Waiters don't seem to have any trouble with separate checks in Boston. But cheerful customer service is the custom that's not prevalent in Boston or NYC.
As I said, anywhere you live has pluses and minuses. Among the minuses of living in the Northeastern US megalopolis (at least till you get up the coast past Portland) is surly, unresponsive customer "service" in retail establishments. There are many positive aspects of life here, as well.
I have a question for those of you who live in the NYC area where separate checks are not done.
For over 15 years I've been going out to dinner once a month with 3 other women. We go to various nice restaurants in our area. They always have more expensive meals than I do as I don't eat meat, never get more than one glass of wine, and never get dessert.
Now I'm not on a tight budget but if we did not get separate checks, this $10-20 extra every month, over the course of 15 years would add up. As the saying goes, "it's not the money, it's the principle of the thing." While I could afford the extra expense, it doesn't seem right.
Are any of you in this split-the-check group in a similar situation of always being the one, over a period of years with the same dining companions, of consistently paying more than your share? If so, is there no resentment at all?
If it bothered me, it would tell me something about the friends I was dining with and my relationship with them. If 10 or 20 dollars a month was a big deal to me, and it meant not being able to pay my bills that month that would be a different story. But if that were the case I wouldn't be eating out in nice restaurants anyway.
Is there a nice vegetarian restaurant you could suggest for your next meal? One good thing about NYC is that there are tons of them!
It only bothers me if we are talking something like a $30+ difference. Anything less than that I will chalk up yo hanging out with friends and having a good time. I’m not one to hang out with random people, so those I choose to dine with are not going to be people I’m nitpicking dollars and cents with. We’re talking close friends or family.
If I decide to order pasta one day when dining with friends, it’s because I felt like pasta that day. They aren’t taking advantage of me by not ordering pasta and I didn’t order it because I wanted to save money.
My experience with “mathing out” as some seem to call it has always been getting screwed over because usually the person who says let’s math this out is cheap and shorts even their own portion of the bill. Every single time we went out to eat when I was in the Army, I got screwed. Every time it comes up now, I get screwed. Everyone rounds down when figuring out their portion and doesn’t properly account for tax and tip. Maybe it works with 2 people, but that’s about it. So the options are either the restaurant separates it for you, or you just split the bill evenly in my opinion.
I always make sure I have plenty of change so I can put in whatever I owe plus tax and tip. Sometimes we have a bottle of wine and we don’t expect anyone to pay for ours. I have noticed that most places here will do separate checks.
Along with separate checks, everyone around here pays by credit card. The only time I pay cash is when having breakfast at a diner but most of the people I go to breakfast with pay that small amount by credit card.
For the most part, I don't really enjoy eating out anyway. Usually restaurants are so noisy or playing loud music that I can't hear the conversation anyway.
Yes I'm frugal and proud of it! I'm not cheap, rather I am careful with money.
Sad to see so much judgement from those who flat out say wanting separate checks is cheap and trashy.
For the most part, I don't really enjoy eating out anyway. Usually restaurants are so noisy or playing loud music that I can't hear the conversation anyway.
Yes I'm frugal and proud of it! I'm not cheap, rather I am careful with money.
Sad to see so much judgement from those who flat out say wanting separate checks is cheap and trashy.
I hope the OP will update the tally again.
The thing is, around here it simply ISN'T "cheap and trashy" to ask for separate checks. It just is not. So to be honest, it doesn't make any difference to me if it's "cheap and trashy" some place where I don't live.
If I'm in some far flung city and go out to eat with a friend, I always offer to just pick up the tab and I win that showdown about half the time - LOL.
The people I hang out with just don't do the "Oh just divide it all evenly" thing. Now - the exception is if I am with a friend and we get things that are basically the same cost - this does happen sometime. For instance, just the other day my friend and I both ate at a salad bar and both had a cup of hot tea. Period. So in that case, we just said to the server, "Just split it down the middle."
^That's another way to manage it that hasn't been discussed. "OK, we're going to be splitting the bill evenly-- but everyone must order exactly the same thing. Now, let's decide what we'll be having for dinner..."
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