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Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Yes, it depends greatly on the circumstances. I have a straight female relative who married a gay man, a few of years before they retired. The reason is that they both were going to get great government pensions and with no heirs, the survivorship benefits would be wasted. They lived separately until they retired, then bought a house together with 2 masters.
Marriage is the path that a man and woman take to show their commitment to each other. Living together without marriage effectively states that they are not committed to each other. This is true of every culture and society in the world.
Tell that to my older brother and his lovely lady who have lived together happily and closely for 43 years.
Our youngest is a Pathologist and has been involved in some messy family situations where the person who accompanied the now deceased to the Hospital, and represented themselves as the Spouse based on decades of shared domicile, is actually the girlfriend/boyfriend of the deceased, and the deceased has no close family members.
Sometimes decisions regarding what to do with the body have to be legally relegated to a distant cousin who may or may not have ever met the deceased! More often in these cases the decisions fall upon an estranged child, or the estranged spouse from a marriage which was never dissolved by the Courts!
DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
Things can get very messy with a Live-In arrangement at end of life if close family members biologically are not also close emotionally. There is an actual flow chart for Hospitals to follow in regards to the order in which biological relatives are contacted in these situations, and who has legal authority for making decisions.
This isn't a question with a one-size fits all answer. But I will say, from personal experience with my father and stepmother, with whom he lived with for years before getting married, that if either or both parties have children, it's imperative to get good legal advice about how one wants their money distributed upon their death. In our case, our father did a poor job of this, and got talked into putting all his assets in joint accounts shortly before he died. As a result, when the stepmother died a few years later, her no-good son got all of my father's money that she hadn't spent. My father intensely disliked this man - with good reason - and had often expressed concern about him getting any of his money. I would have been perfectly happy if my dad had left all his money to charities (my brother and I are both quite financially secure and didn't need it), but seeing the stepbrother get it, knowing how he was going to blow it, was depressing.
Marriage historically was a business arrangement, not a romantic one, and it still has those impacts today.
Marriage is the path that a man and woman take to show their commitment to each other. Living together without marriage effectively states that they are not committed to each other. This is true of every culture and society in the world.
Not true in our case, I lived with the woman that I eventually married from 1982 until 1994.
In that time I “lusted in my heart” after many other women, but I never did a thing about it, I was and still am, totally committed to her, my mama didn’t raise any dummies.
As I am 19 years her senior, and remembering the hassle I had settling my mother’s affairs after she died, I suggested getting married because a) when I shuffled off, she’d have minimal hassle with banks etc if she could prove that she was my legal wife, and b) it would show friends and family how much we really loved each other and were happy to be legally united.
I think it depends on the couple. There can be inheritance, financial, health care and tax implications for either decision. I would worry about not being able to be my spouse's healthcare advocate were he not my spouse.
Our youngest is a Pathologist and has been involved in some messy family situations where the person who accompanied the now deceased to the Hospital, and represented themselves as the Spouse based on decades of shared domicile, is actually the girlfriend/boyfriend of the deceased, and the deceased has no close family members.
Sometimes decisions regarding what to do with the body have to be legally relegated to a distant cousin who may or may not have ever met the deceased! More often in these cases the decisions fall upon an estranged child, or the estranged spouse from a marriage which was never dissolved by the Courts!
DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
Things can get very messy with a Live-In arrangement at end of life if close family members biologically are not also close emotionally. There is an actual flow chart for Hospitals to follow in regards to the order in which biological relatives are contacted in these situations, and who has legal authority for making decisions.
One can have a will, a living will/health care directive, and named beneficiaries on bank and investment accounts. One can name whomever they want to make end of life decisions and to inherit. Most/all states have their healthcare directives online. No lawyer needed so there is no excuse.
It is sad that many people do not get this paperwork in order (as your pathologist child has witnessed. )
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Marriage is the path that a man and woman take to show their commitment to each other. Living together without marriage effectively states that they are not committed to each other. This is true of every culture and society in the world.
I beg to differ. Lots of unmarried couples are totally committed to each other. Perhaps you just haven't run into that in your sphere.
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