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Couple in their 50's. Hubby has a heart attack. He recovers and one night he leans into his wife and says lets play around. She says she would love to but she is afraid after his heart attack. She says you are going to the Doctor tomorrow, have him write me a note saying sex if is fine. The Doctor writes a note and it says due to new treatments and drugs, Mr. Smith has a the virility and performance ability of a 30 year old. Doctor hands him the note and asks is this good? Fellow says yes, but could you changes from salutation from Mrs. Smith to Whom It May Concern..........
If he got stents, it's entirely fine. The "30 year old" thing is a pretty accurate assessment. Stents add 20 years to your life, on average.
An elderly married couple are watching Dateline on TV when a story about high-priced Hookers in Las Vegas comes on. After watching the segment, the Wife gets up and starts packing a bag.
The Husband says, "Where do you think you're going?"
The Wife says, "I'm going to Vegas where I can make $750 for that which I give you for FREE !!"
The Husband gets up and starts packing his own bag. Wife says, "Where do you think you're going ?"
He says, "I'm going to Vegas to see how you're going to live on $750 bucks a year !!"
An 80 year old man married a 25 year old woman. He meets his friend for drinks and tells the friend how great the sex is and how often the do it.
The friend asks "Aren't you concerned about a heart attack?"
The old man shrugs and replies "She dies, she dies."
A middle aged couple both lost their jobs due to Covid and are having trouble paying their bills. The wife decides she will make the supreme sacrifice and go out and sell herself. The husband reluctantly agrees. The wife comes home that night and announces that she made $505. The husband says that's great but how did the $5 get in there. The wife replies well, everybody gave me $5.
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparents’ house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. “Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong.”
She paused, wiped away a tear, and then continued, “and if that damned ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”
A middle-aged couple decided to spice up their sex life with acrobatic sex. It was so exhilarating that both collapsed at the end. Not necessarily heart attack, but they were both found dead right after. Fortunately, I was able to photograph them when they were in the heat of the moment, to help aid the investigation.
Not for the weak of hearts.
Spoiler
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