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I've done a few in my life - had to do one to get into grad school and then periodically, I've assessed my life.
The old age review is a little different for me - my faults have become more obvious to me now (through self-assessment and inquiry) - and I see my life now much differently than I've perceived it before.
Just wondering how common it is for seniors/elders to review and asses their lives.
I see some of my faults will go with me to the grave - lol.
Not sure what the point is if you are happy and contented in your life. I suppose if you have a lot of problems that you are dealing with in your day-to-day life that maybe you need to think about things you can change. It’s not been an issue for me… Can’t really think of when I would have pondered such a thing.
We are the products of so many different events and decisions that looking back from an advanced age perspective is not going to be that helpful or even informative. Crying over spilt milk is not something I want to do. I do take stock of where I am and who I am and can point to certain decisions and events and conditions that led me to this point. Who and what I thought I'd be while standing in my cap and gown waiting for my name to be called in 1970 is really of no consequence now. I got some interesting advice back then that proved to be true: "The job that you train for in college and set your eyes on will most likely not be there four years later". What do you do, then? Things (wars, recessions, illness, etc.) get in the way. Doors close and others open. Hopefully, you have learned how to assess options and make good decisions.
My life, as a book, really can be divided into chapters. There is nothing I can do to change something in chapters one and two or three. Chapter four was very good. I made some decisions in chapter five that carried me on to six and seven. I have few regrets and have forgiven myself for some mistakes. Chapter eight is where I am now and this is where I can make things different, good, or bad. I focus more on my health than I used to. I don't do much more assessment than that. Living for today is more important than worrying about yesterday. Expectations change.
One of my hobbies is genealogy so I have looked back many generations. We might actually take note of only about 3-5 things. They had to deal with a lot more than we do today -- war, diseases, upheaval, oppression. They made a decision to better themselves in America but sometimes it turned out worse. Most were poor or lived modestly as farmers or factory workers. In the end, they were mostly successful for their day given the conditions. That's what we strive for.
One friend takes it perhaps a bit too far. He treats retirement the way he treated work back when he was a senior executive at a Fortune 500 company.
In retirement, he has a written rolling 5 year plan including a mission, objectives & strategies - just as we all had before we retired.
He keeps a written 1 year plan including strategies & tactics tied to his 5 year plan, including metrics
He has detailed written quarterly plans & metrics
He has a very detailed monthly plan & metrics
Each quarter, he creates a powerpoint presentation of his performance against his plans ... and he gives a stand-up presentation to himself in front of a mirror, complete with a letter grade on each item, and a plan on how he will do better the following time period. He analyzes the trailing 1 year plans to look for systemic ways to improve. He has an annual "strategy review" with himself, evaluating the appropriateness of his 5 year mission/objective plan.
I’m a little confused. You mentioned grad school, yes I remember having to write the verbose, load of ******** essay as a part of rhe application process, is that what you mean? That was just part of the stupid process to get in, for me. Maybe that is too concrete re what you’re saying.
As far as the rest, I felt like I was always just scrabbling, struggling, like I was the roadrunner, barely staying ahead of Wile E. Coyote, not much time for reflection.
Now that I’m old, thinking stuff like, “If I had done A, then B might have done C & maybe D would have happened”, is exhausting & triggering & just plain pointless, IMO.
I don't recall the exact assignment - I think it was to write an autobiography. It was the first time I sat down to seriously assess my life up to that point. The process and the actual experiences at the school started me on a path of at minimum, respecting the process of self-inquiry and self-awareness. I discovered a lot about myself through the initial processes and realizations have been ongoing.
Not sure what the point is if you are happy and contented in your life. I suppose if you have a lot of problems that you are dealing with in your day-to-day life that maybe you need to think about things you can change. It’s not been an issue for me… Can’t really think of when I would have pondered such a thing.
The process of self-awareness has little to do with happiness or unhappiness - it's more about awareness and hopefully, growth. If a person doesn't value awareness, then ignorance is bliss, as they say.
We are the products of so many different events and decisions that looking back from an advanced age perspective is not going to be that helpful or even informative. Crying over spilt milk is not something I want to do. I do take stock of where I am and who I am and can point to certain decisions and events and conditions that led me to this point. Who and what I thought I'd be while standing in my cap and gown waiting for my name to be called in 1970 is really of no consequence now. I got some interesting advice back then that proved to be true: "The job that you train for in college and set your eyes on will most likely not be there four years later". What do you do, then? Things (wars, recessions, illness, etc.) get in the way. Doors close and others open. Hopefully, you have learned how to assess options and make good decisions.
My life, as a book, really can be divided into chapters. There is nothing I can do to change something in chapters one and two or three. Chapter four was very good. I made some decisions in chapter five that carried me on to six and seven. I have few regrets and have forgiven myself for some mistakes. Chapter eight is where I am now and this is where I can make things different, good, or bad. I focus more on my health than I used to. I don't do much more assessment than that. Living for today is more important than worrying about yesterday. Expectations change.
One of my hobbies is genealogy so I have looked back many generations. We might actually take note of only about 3-5 things. They had to deal with a lot more than we do today -- war, diseases, upheaval, oppression. They made a decision to better themselves in America but sometimes it turned out worse. Most were poor or lived modestly as farmers or factory workers. In the end, they were mostly successful for their day given the conditions. That's what we strive for.
This perspective couldn't be further from my motivation in self-assessment.
I come at it from "The unexamined life is not worth living," Socrates perspective.
My view definitely is a product of my particular philosophical belief system about the meaning of life and my purpose on the planet.
The process of self-awareness has little to do with happiness or unhappiness - it's more about awareness and hopefully, growth. If a person doesn't value awareness, then ignorance is bliss, as they say.
I am quite aware of what I have and where I have been and where I am going - and I am quite happy with all of it. I don't have any need to "review" anything in my life. If you do, then go for it. Hope it helps you.
This perspective couldn't be further from my motivation in self-assessment.
I come at it from "The unexamined life is not worth living," Socrates perspective.
My view definitely is a product of my particular philosophical belief system about the meaning of life and my purpose on the planet.
I think that if this works for you and you get something out of it that will help you today and tomorrow, go for it. If it leads to some form of self-harm as in unsurmountable regret or dissatisfaction, I will not recommend it. By this time, we are mostly beyond making significant changes. We can make amends and we can try to mend ruptured relationships and still change behaviors going forward.
When my wife died, a talented young friend wrote a poem and dedicated it to her based on Isaiah 38:12: "My dwelling is removed, and is carried away from me like a shepherd's tent. I have rolled up, like a weaver, my life. He will cut me off from the loom. From day even to night you will make an end of me."
She was a remarkable woman and it took me a while to understand or appreciate this, but now I do. "I have rolled up, like a weaver, my life". We are what we weave -- a fine cloth, a rug, or a veil - but always one with mistakes that can't be corrected, never finished as we might like. Do we look upon the whole cloth or look for the mistakes or imperfections? It is a whole cloth any way you look at it. We should weave the best we can, weft upon weft.
I think that if this works for you and you get something out of it that will help you today and tomorrow, go for it. If it leads to some form of self-harm as in unsurmountable regret or dissatisfaction, I will not recommend it. By this time, we are mostly beyond making significant changes. We can make amends and we can try to mend ruptured relationships and still change behaviors going forward.
When my wife died, a talented young friend wrote a poem and dedicated it to her based on Isaiah 38:12: "My dwelling is removed, and is carried away from me like a shepherd's tent. I have rolled up, like a weaver, my life. He will cut me off from the loom. From day even to night you will make an end of me."
She was a remarkable woman and it took me a while to understand or appreciate this, but now I do. "I have rolled up, like a weaver, my life". We are what we weave -- a fine cloth, a rug, or a veil - but always one with mistakes that can't be corrected, never finished as we might like. Do we look upon the whole cloth or look for the mistakes or imperfections? It is a whole cloth any way you look at it. We should weave the best we can, weft upon weft.
What a great reply!
One of my favorite books for younger readers had a protagonist who traveled all over his country in search of a life purpose/professional calling. He apprentices with various craftsmen: a blacksmith, potter, livestock farmer, and a weaver. Each of them refers to life in terms of their chosen craft. The weaver was a particularly harsh taskmaster but renowned for her knowledge and her beautiful, durable work. When the protagonist realizes weaving isn't his calling and decides to end his apprenticeship, she comments (paraphrased):
"Then we must say farewell. It's one thing to weave a garment and have something useful to show for your effort. But mind you, if life is a loom, the pattern you weave upon it is not so easily unraveled!"
Last edited by Parnassia; 12-01-2023 at 03:36 PM..
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