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I am going to caution you about food. A lot of people are on specialized (low carb) diets. You need to not be offended if you miss the mark on food without asking them first. Same with alcohol as some people just do not drink.
A simple solution is to ask your guests ahead of the get-together whether they have any dietary restrictions.
When I invite guests over for dinner, I always inform them of the menu. Sometimes I even ask for their choices of dishes or desserts. For a big gathering with several guests having restricted diets (gluten free, low-card, no sea foods etc.), I plan the menu so that everybody will have something good to eat.
I always accepting guests' offers to bring a dish or a beverage and often give them suggestions on what to bring to round out the meal plan.
Ugh I agree. We "accidentally" became friends with our right next door neighbors. They have become very needy, for years now asking if we are mad at them if we don't see them often enough. they invite us over constantly. They are retired and have been since they moved in there in 2015. I work full time at home and my husband is newly retired. We cherish our weekends and evening so we don't see them that often.
We have gone out to dinner with them and the last time was a disaster. They drank too much and made racist comments about white people (they are hispanic and we are white) and other offensive comments about our grown children that don't even live with us. It's difficult because we share back yards. They can see us coming and going. We are really no longer interested in being friends with them but I am non confrontational so I don't want to tell them that. I feel like moving. I know that is crazy but...
I guess my point is, neighbors should not be close friends just in case it goes south.
This 100%. I have some great neighbors and when we first moved in, we became friends with one of the couples. I really enjoyed their friendship, until my husband passed away. I am younger by decades to these people. They made a lot of assumptions and inappropriate comments after he passed. Then the woman tried to fix me up-after only 3 weeks of my husband passing-with her 80 year old friend! Good lord I was so grossed out #1-he could be my grandpa-and #2-I was really offended. My heart was broken and I needed care and support.
So after about 4 months of dealing with them/her, I talked to her about it and told her how I felt. Well, THAT didn't go over very well and I haven't talked to them since. It's been 2 years now.
Now I am very careful with the new neighbors. I'm friendly and helpful, but I doubt I will have that kind of relationship with any of them. It's not worth the risk.
I am going to caution you about food. A lot of people are on specialized (low carb) diets. You need to not be offended if you miss the mark on food without asking them first. Same with alcohol as some people just do not drink.
Well if you start going down that path you'll end up with a glass of water and an empty plate of "treats".
Well if you start going down that path you'll end up with a glass of water and an empty plate of "treats".
Not if you just ask people. If you don't ask and you just assume that they eat and drink the standard american diet nowadays people have embraced different diets you do not have a right to be upset when they reject it.
So many people just don't do things with their neighbors these days. It sort of baffles me, but to each their own. Our cul de sac has nine houses and I've been to get togethers in 6 of the 8 other homes. We've had a few here, but we also do a lot in the central island of our cul de sac. That started with the covid lockdowns and how lonely everybody was, so we had a block get together at one neighbor's driveway and into the street island where we have a picnic table and a firepit. We all brought lawn chairs, a snack to share, and our own beverages. We did that once a month for about 6 months. We've been to holiday wine and cheese, and new neighbor meet and greets.
For menu ideas, I think fruit, cheese, crackers or baguette slices, maybe salami, olives, or cut veggies and hummus, a few sweet treats, a few things like that. There's a little something for everyone there. Unless you are opposed to drinking in general, a bottle or two of wine (maybe one of red, one of white) and a few beers in the fridge or in a bucket of ice, of course waters and maybe iced or hot tea/coffee available. It's perfectly okay to ask what they like to drink when inviting. If you prefer, you might mention that you don't drink, but they are free to bring alcohol if that's what they prefer, just so they know you're not against alcohol (unless you are). If they seem less than enthusiastic to come over, back off. Maybe later you might suggest getting together for lunch or dinner at a nearby restaurant. A home invitation comes with the potential of them worrying about reciprocating if they "just aren't that into you". LOL
Not if you just ask people. If you don't ask and you just assume that they eat and drink the standard american diet nowadays people have embraced different diets you do not have a right to be upset when they reject it.
I don't ask. If they can't eat it then they can't eat it. So far I've not run into any situation like you described.
When we first moved into our neighborhood we were invited to a few homes for "small bites." I had never heard that phrase before but I liked it. It was at 5:00 and reminiscent of a cocktail hour party. Both alcohol and non-alcoholic drinks were served and small bites which were a selection of different appetizers.
We get together with folks out at restaurants or other small events in town during colder weather. In the summer everyone gets together on their patios/decks. We almost never get together in someone’s house during the winter; unless it’s family, it’s rare. Hadn’t thought much about that until I read this thread.
Ugh I agree. We "accidentally" became friends with our right next door neighbors. They have become very needy, for years now asking if we are mad at them if we don't see them often enough. they invite us over constantly. They are retired and have been since they moved in there in 2015. I work full time at home and my husband is newly retired. We cherish our weekends and evening so we don't see them that often.
We have gone out to dinner with them and the last time was a disaster. They drank too much and made racist comments about white people (they are hispanic and we are white) and other offensive comments about our grown children that don't even live with us. It's difficult because we share back yards. They can see us coming and going. We are really no longer interested in being friends with them but I am non confrontational so I don't want to tell them that. I feel like moving. I know that is crazy but...
I guess my point is, neighbors should not be close friends just in case it goes south.
Ha Ha. I think we lived next door to that couple. We were always gently declining invitations, but did occasionally do something with them. We invited them to dinner the night before they (finally) moved due to a job transfer. They brought their college-aged daughter (who monopolized the dinner conversation), to our surprise, and lots of drinks were ordered (I’m a non-drinker) and when the bill came no offer to split the check. Oh well, we did invite them.
15 years later who should we run into on a cruise! We went to a few dinners with them and were not surprised they were still the same in every way. Still it was nice to see them after all that time and I enjoyed spending time a little with them on the cruise
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