Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not for me. It is not a particularly meaningful thing for me even now.
I think that you are very rare. The older I get the more important my kids, friends and dogs are. I value them over everything else. Driving home from my son’s on Wednesday I was thinking how lucky I am to have my kids.
I think that you are very rare. The older I get the more important my kids, friends and dogs are. I value them over everything else. Driving home from my son’s on Wednesday I was thinking how lucky I am to have my kids.
From all of her references it seems like Elnrgby must have been a surgeon. The level of objectivity and detachment you must have to do that is likely enormously high. It is hard to be two opposing things, isn't it? It may take Elnrgby a lot more time off to come back from all that. Add to that the personal losses... In a way that may have been what made her good at what she did for a living. I am just guessing and I may be way off.
I think that you are very rare. The older I get the more important my kids, friends and dogs are. I value them over everything else. Driving home from my son’s on Wednesday I was thinking how lucky I am to have my kids.
Oh I still think how lucky I am to not have kids :-).
from all of her references it seems like elnrgby must have been a surgeon. The level of objectivity and detachment you must have to do that is likely enormously high. It is hard to be two opposing things, isn't it? It may take elnrgby a lot more time off to come back from all that. Add to that the personal losses... In a way that may have been what made her good at what she did for a living. I am just guessing and i may be way off.
^^
There are those of us who just dislike being around any kids. If I must be, I'm respectful towards their vulnerability but would rather avoid them completely.
I think that you are very rare. The older I get the more important my kids, friends and dogs are. I value them over everything else. Driving home from my son’s on Wednesday I was thinking how lucky I am to have my kids.
Not everyone has kids. Not everyone has family they want to be around, or even family at all. Not everyone has a slew of friends. Not everyone owns or even likes pets. Not everyone wants to live in the same place forever. And some people want their aging experience not to be about couch sitting and tv watching but about experiencing life for as long as physically possible. Yes, these people exist, and in these cases expating would fit, if one can fund it and navigate all the intricacies. I find it annoying that so many people assume every aging person comes from some Hallmark family they can’t bear to part from.
Most people that can’t afford it end up on Medicaid and then their families and friends can visit them. They don’t go overseas. In fact I don’t know one person that has done that. By the time you need that level of care the only meaningful thing left is your connections to other people.
Can't argue with that. Most Americans don't even have a passport, let alone consider expat retirement a practical option.
But at the end of the day, we all can't work forever. And if someone can't afford to retire in America, they have no right to complain if they never considered retiring abroad as an option.
"I need to be close to my friends and family." Well, if they're not helping you retire, being close to them won't make a difference if you're struggling during retirement.
"I need to be close to my friends and family." Well, if they're not helping you retire, being close to them won't make a difference if you're struggling during retirement.
It may sound reallly cynical, but I don't think many people are in a situation where if long term care is needed that family would be the one doing all of the care. By the time one needs an extensive level of care, multiple people are required to carry it out so it becomes a strain for 1 or even 2 or 3 family members to be responsible for and that is WITH hiring out addition support to come in and help the family caregiver/s.
For those that decide to be in a facility but still need to be close to family and friends I honestly think that is a great decision to choose to remain near said family/friends. Again, one needs at least 1 person close to them to advocate for them, especially when they are receiving long term care and are in a facility.
However, I think people may overestimate how much they'll actually see said family/friends they choose to stay near once they go into a facility. I have literally had a close friend of my parent state they didn't visit my parent when they were in a facility for a year and a half (although they were only 30 minutes away) because it was depressing and smells bad (plus the staff was horrible). It's like that in many facilities and many people (family/friends) will choose not to be around it over seeing their loved one. It is part of what makes being in many facilities so heartbreaking - the expectations vs. the reality surrounding how often you'll be around those you spent the most time with prior to going into long term care.
It may sound reallly cynical, but I don't think many people are in a situation where if long term care is needed that family would be the one doing all of the care. By the time one needs an extensive level of care, multiple people are required to carry it out so it becomes a strain for 1 or even 2 or 3 family members to be responsible for and that is WITH hiring out addition support to come in and help the family caregiver/s.
For those that decide to be in a facility but still need to be close to family and friends I honestly think that is a great decision to choose to remain near said family/friends. Again, one needs at least 1 person close to them to advocate for them, especially when they are receiving long term care and are in a facility.
However, I think people may overestimate how much they'll actually see said family/friends they choose to stay near once they go into a facility. I have literally had a close friend of my parent state they didn't visit my parent when they were in a facility for a year and a half (although they were only 30 minutes away) because it was depressing and smells bad (plus the staff was horrible). It's like that in many facilities and many people (family/friends) will choose not to be around it over seeing their loved one. It is part of what makes being in many facilities so heartbreaking - the expectations vs. the reality surrounding how often you'll be around those you spent the most time with prior to going into long term care.
Personally I drove a hour each way for 2 years to visit a friend in a nursing home that had Alzheimer’s even after she no longer knew who I was. I ended up not living by my family because of my career. I still used all my vacation and sick leave to go back home and help. I would never consider moving now because of my friends and my oldest son and his wife are here.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
).
