To those who retired early: Do you feel guilty? (inheritance, employees, annuity)
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This question is for anyone else who retired before age 60.
I retired five years ago at age 53, after working fulltime ever since age 18. My father died unexpectedly in 2001 and I inherited his house, life insurance and retirement policies, et cetera. I decided to sell his house plus my own, because I'd fallen in love with an "older house with great character" (this is a euphemism for "Money Pit", by the way; I see elsewhere on the forum there's a young man who believes he can purchase an older home for $50,000 and spend no more than $2000 on repairs and improvements – he certainly is in for a rude awakening!) which I subsequently bought and spent almost three years restoring and repairing.
All of my friends, family and acquaintances are, however, still working full-time. I am the only one who has retired and at every social gathering someone ALWAYS asks the dreaded question: "So, what are you DOING with yourself nowadays? Are you WORKING?" in the tone of voice that implies rather "Are you still being a layabout, or have you decided to return to doing something productive?" During the years I was restoring the house, I at least had that "excuse", but it is now finished. I get the unmistakable sense that people feel there is no earthly reason why a healthy single childless 58-year-old woman of education and reasonable intelligence should not be still in the workforce… other than sheer laziness or irresponsibility, that is, neither of which has ever been the case. I have sometimes felt guilty enough to actually lie and say that I am doing temporary-employment work! That always results in a response of "Oh really? That's very nice" and the conversation turns elsewhere; but if I instead evade the question by answering "Oh, this and that", it continues on into more of a third-degree investigation: "But what exactly do you DO with all that free time?" There are times when I am tempted to reply "None of your bloody business" but of course I never do…
So I am wondering if others who chose early retirement feel, or are made to feel, uncomfortable or somehow 'guilty' about it at times?
Why do you feel guilty? We planned to retire the minute we could -- and did. ( 53 and 51) You need to 1)make friends with people who are retired or 2) find something you can just donate time to - be it a church, library, historical society, garden club.... anything you like... and that your so called "friends" who get snarky about you being retired might call "work" and lay off. (I would call them jealous). Also, since you have redone a house, then you have skills you could sell -- seriously. Otherwise, tell them "none of your bloody business" and go enjoy yourself!
Maybe the OP's thread title was less tan accurate (I didn't read the whole thread), but I assume they mean that they find they have less in common eith their friends now that they have retired. I've spoken to several early retirees who lament the fact that all their friends are still working while they (the retiree) has maximum flexibility. It makes for an awkward dynamic. Either the retiree has to Arange their schedule tax on date their working friends, or they have to exams their circle - often to a group of people they may initially feel they have less in common with I think it is a legitimate issue that requires a bit of adjustment.
Not retired yet, but I will be, at 47 yrs old, in 38 months and 8 days. And unlike most of my co-workers that retire, I WILL NOT get another job. I plan on moving back to Oklahoma where I would be able to live very comfortably and not have to worry about money.
As far as plans for retirement, I already have a cross country motorcycle trip planned that will probably take 2 months to complete. I also have friends all across this great nation, so If I wake up in the morning and decide I want to go visit so and so, I'll pack up my bike and hit the road. I also plan on playing golf everyday! If I ever decided to get a job, to kill a few hours a week, it would be at a golf course so I could get free green fees. Other than that, I plan on sitting on my fat ass and chillin'.
Retirement is blissful. I have so many favorite things that I do and am never bored. A slow cup of coffee in the morning is heaven on earth.........as is visiting with family and not thinking about what is waiting for me to do. Travel at a slow pace; cooking; even exercise can be enjoyable. Celebrate every day....from the small "normal" tasks to the great adventures.
Marie
Marie,
You have a talent in writing. Perhaps consider writing a book in your retirement.
This question is for anyone else who retired before age 60.
I retired five years ago at age 53, after working fulltime ever since age 18. My father died unexpectedly in 2001 and I inherited his house, life insurance and retirement policies, et cetera. I decided to sell his house plus my own, because I'd fallen in love with an "older house with great character" (this is a euphemism for "Money Pit", by the way; I see elsewhere on the forum there's a young man who believes he can purchase an older home for $50,000 and spend no more than $2000 on repairs and improvements – he certainly is in for a rude awakening!) which I subsequently bought and spent almost three years restoring and repairing.
All of my friends, family and acquaintances are, however, still working full-time. I am the only one who has retired and at every social gathering someone ALWAYS asks the dreaded question: "So, what are you DOING with yourself nowadays? Are you WORKING?" in the tone of voice that implies rather "Are you still being a layabout, or have you decided to return to doing something productive?" During the years I was restoring the house, I at least had that "excuse", but it is now finished. I get the unmistakable sense that people feel there is no earthly reason why a healthy single childless 58-year-old woman of education and reasonable intelligence should not be still in the workforce… other than sheer laziness or irresponsibility, that is, neither of which has ever been the case. I have sometimes felt guilty enough to actually lie and say that I am doing temporary-employment work! That always results in a response of "Oh really? That's very nice" and the conversation turns elsewhere; but if I instead evade the question by answering "Oh, this and that", it continues on into more of a third-degree investigation: "But what exactly do you DO with all that free time?" There are times when I am tempted to reply "None of your bloody business" but of course I never do…
So I am wondering if others who chose early retirement feel, or are made to feel, uncomfortable or somehow 'guilty' about it at times?
windflower, good for you and enjoy your life. When people ask just say you lost your job, and then watch how different the reaction is. DH retired early because we wanted to travel. We planned for this for along time. We felt comfortable with him retiring and his job was too restrictive and I can work from anywhere and we wanted to travel. We started traveling (a life long dream) then my mom became ill and now we have to stay here to take care of her. Be grateful you can do what you want to do. For us, it's a catch 22, if given a choice between traveling and having my mom still with us, my mom wins hands down. Our time will come.
I was 45 days short of age 63 when I retired. So not that early. Never felt guilty. It's been 6 1/2 years now and still
loving the freedom. I say the earlier the better.
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