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Wasn't debating about the OP as I can only assume about her position. I was complementing ANOTHER poster for making some good points in general about helping your children. Your point is right about being able to afford to help and there are those who can and do. I think her points were good and you don't and that's ok.
Note she commented about not being able to replace it not being destitute if it wasn't replaced. It could be treated like a market correction in your portfolio that may or may not come back before you die. If you are planning out to 94 and taking a 3-4% drawdown depending on your balance your principal woud be in tact at 94 and still there for your heirs. Losing part of that principle at a later age without getting back is not going to throw the train off the track.
Actually I think her points are very good and very valid if one is in the position to do so Someone living on a very meager pension or just SS alone~~~gasp~~~ wouldn't be.
We've helped all our kids get a start but not by borrowing against any retirement funds to do so
This from o/p's original post is what leaves me to assume if kid didn't pay back she may be up the creek:
would you let them have it knowing that is all you will have and no chance of replacing it if they don't pay it back?
Actually I think her points are very good and very valid if one is in the position to do so Someone living on a very meager pension or just SS alone~~~gasp~~~ wouldn't be.
We've helped all our kids get a start but not by borrowing against any retirement funds to do so
This from o/p's original post is what leaves me to assume if kid didn't pay back she may be up the creek:
would you let them have it knowing that is all you will have and no chance of replacing it if they don't pay it back?
You may well be absolutely correct. I am not sure has she weighed back in? Her kids may be scoundrels and not likely to pay her back based on past history or it may be for a house and they will be cash strapped for awhile. I would have a different opinion for each of the situations. As we got closer to retirement and our plans finalized we needed to answer some critical questions related to assets as we aged. We are blessed and should have to worry about transferring wealth and for that we are fortunate. If the OP is cutting it close to the edge with retirement resources they would be wise to put her self very much first, second and third.
I had no good start or any help from my parents (working-class/dysfunctional broke) all their lives. I am lucky in that I always knew there was nothing there for me. I am still surprised when adult "children" get money from their parents or elders.
The rule of thumb, I thought, for all personal loans, is not to lend it unless you can manage without it being paid back. Yes, if the grown child is sick, they can live in the spare room (or couch) if need be. But to just give money? Money you'll need to live? Who is going to pony up if the OP is sick or disabled?
Parents absolutely do not owe their grown children anything, especially an inheritance. I have seen many unseemly "adults' drifting along, expecting a chunk of change from elderly parents, either alive or dead. It's pretty distasteful to see someone in his 40s not saving because he assumes Ma will leave him something good. (I so hope she doesn't).
I find it sorta odd to see the word parent and not owe their children anything in the same sentence to be a bit odd. But oh well to each their own and now I know why mine are so appreciative.
In a way you could say a reverse equity loan is. You are borrowing your kids future inheritance to fund your retirement in a way of sorts.
Lett ehm boy their own home and make their way in the world. That is why they are in manycases still living with ;off their parents because they have beeen taught this way of thinking.
Lett ehm boy their own home and make their way in the world. That is why they are in manycases still living with ;off their parents because they have beeen taught this way of thinking.
What if your kids already own their own homes and you are a grandparent? Intergenerational wealth transfer is a fundamental part of estate planning if you have one! You have to plan for the transfer of unless you are planning to die broke and most of us aren't. As far as kids living off their parents that is a quantum leap of an assumption about our families. What about lending your kids money to get married?
This thread is not about reverse mortgages, it is about kids wanting to borrow your retirement funds.
Toborg was just using that as an example and how ( I am assuming) some of these children would look at it.
It is not a medical emergency, no major disaster.. They just need some cash to make their life easier during these hard times with the economy like it is these days.... Hay, and keep in mind that your retirement funds have already taken a big hit because of the economy.
Missed this the first time around.
So this is just about making someone's life easier? No, a thousand times no. Who said life was supposed to be easy? If that's the case I want a refund, I've been gypped.
Seriously, if it were a case of real need I'd do it, if there were no better alternatives. Saving someone from having to make a lifestyle change doesn't exactly count as real need in my book though.
I once heard that if you can't afford to give your children money, then you shouldn't loan it in the first place. In other words, don't really expect it back. But if you do get it back, that's great! It sounds like good advice to me!!
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Someone living on a very meager pension or just SS alone~~~gasp~~~ wouldn't be.
