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Old 05-31-2010, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,464,536 times
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Whenever I meet an older person who begins a conversation by telling me what their kids are doing or what's happening at work - I flee ASAP. I know this is not a person whose company I will enjoy, and vice versa. These people are the living dead.
I have met many young people who do this to. Age isn't always an issue in this type of situation.

It's easy to always have something to do when you follow the prescribed route. The trick is to amuse yourself while going off the beaten path.
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Old 05-31-2010, 12:44 PM
 
592 posts, read 1,815,001 times
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Thanks for all the great retorts to that annoying question! Thanks to you folks the next time I hear it I plan to answer with, "Anything I want. That's the beauty of retirement (with a big smile on my face)." And, then I'll turn the tables on them by adding a very innocent and serious, "What do YOU do all day?" I love it! Thanks again everyone.
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Old 05-31-2010, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,016 posts, read 20,916,017 times
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Default "These people are the living dead."

(A great description by Kevxu referring to those who have no interests outside of their kids and their job) As several posters here have said, in various ways, there is a real divide between those who have no activities, hobbies, or interests outside of their jobs and those who do. Those of us who do just find it "normal" that life is interesting and multi-faceted. The OP's irritation with the question "What are you going to DO all day?" and its implication that retirement will be a problem of boredom, is understandable. But the people asking it should be pitied, actually. It is sad that there are so many of them, and they reveal (by the question) their inner emptiness; when face to face with themselves, there is nothing there and boredom is the problem.
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Old 05-31-2010, 12:46 PM
 
183 posts, read 352,216 times
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You gotta remember that there are two kinds of people that ask that. First are the workaholic types that just don't understand retirement. Work is there life and they don't really see a purpose in anything else. They can't believe you are happy without purpose (work) in your life.

The other bunch are jealous. They want to be you. Some ask because they are genuinely interested. You can talk to them and they will listen and they are probably planning their own retirement. The others are hoping you will say you are miserable. It gives them the excuse they need to not plan or to justify working more to get more. Their misery is lessened by your misery. If you claim to be happy and fulfilled, they will think you're lying.

Answer how you please. You don't owe them anything. If you want to detail your activities do it. If you want to shrug and act indifferent, do it. They will think what they want anyway. Do what makes you feel good.
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Old 05-31-2010, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Metromess
11,798 posts, read 25,196,822 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyfishnevada View Post
Their misery is lessened by your misery. If you claim to be happy and fulfilled, they will think you're lying.
You are right about that. I had a grandmother who wasn't happy unless she wasn't happy, if you get my drift. She found great joy in reciting her litany of woes with her friends.

The point is that it's up to the individual whether s/he enjoys retirement or not. I intend to!
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Old 05-31-2010, 01:50 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,091 posts, read 15,442,060 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyfishnevada View Post

The other bunch are jealous. They want to be you. Some ask because they are genuinely interested. You can talk to them and they will listen and they are probably planning their own retirement.
Guilty as charged!

Whenever another colleague announces their retirement date, the first thing out of my mouth is, "I'm jealous!"

The second thing is, "What are your plans?".

I figure I might pick up more ideas from them
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Old 05-31-2010, 01:54 PM
 
16,294 posts, read 28,543,062 times
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I just smile and say "what ever the heck I want to", and grin real big
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Old 05-31-2010, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Fort Wayne
470 posts, read 1,155,937 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiPatooti View Post
Ever since DH and I retired people who are still working are always asking us, "But, what do you DO all day long?" as though surely we must just be sitting around gathering dust. The next comment we often hear is something like, "I could never be retired, I'd go crazy with nothing to do." Maybe it's only me, but after hearing this so often (for the past 6 years) I'm beginning to feel as though it's a very rude question. It wouldn't occur to me to ask them to justify their 24 hours every day.

I always find myself at a loss for an answer. Sure, there are sarcastic ones I can think of , but I wouldn't say anything like that and other than that I really don't understand what they mean. So, I usually wrack my brain to come up with a list of some of the things I'm likely to do in a day (read, paint, cook, lunch with friends, etc.) which winds up sounding like a pretty lame answer, I guess. And, again it leaves me feeling as though it's none of their concern what I do with my time every day and why on earth must I justify it to others? Why must I be put on the spot to sit there and come up with a list of my day to day retirement activities? Is it that it's that our culture of busyness makes it more "noble" to work in many people's eyes?

I may get some comments here along the lines of, "Don't be so sensitive, they're probably just interested." But, I truly don't get the vibe that that's the way the question is being asked. When we say we're retired we rarely see them break into a smile being happy for us and then hear something like, "Wow, congratulations. That must be great!" Nope, it's so often a deadpan, "But, what do you DO all day long?" followed by a comment on how they could never be retired, they'd go nuts.

Anyone else tired of hearing that question?
Tell them to MYOB.
Or get a hobby or volunteer in a manner that makes it easy for people see what it is that you are doing.
Or just ignore them.

No offense,but I'm sure that you've been in the game long enough to know how to deflect or deter unwanted and annoying questions.
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Old 05-31-2010, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,016 posts, read 20,916,017 times
Reputation: 32530
Default Here's a more optimistic take on the bored people:

It comes from my sister:
"Some people can develop hobbies and discover activities that they enjoy after reitrement; if they are bored, they would probably do something about it. It's not as if bored, one has no options. Those who work and can't understand retirement may be lacking in imagination more than anything. Once retired, people are rarely bored it seems."
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Old 05-31-2010, 07:04 PM
 
31,683 posts, read 41,057,092 times
Reputation: 14434
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiPatooti View Post
Ever since DH and I retired people who are still working are always asking us, "But, what do you DO all day long?" as though surely we must just be sitting around gathering dust. The next comment we often hear is something like, "I could never be retired, I'd go crazy with nothing to do." Maybe it's only me, but after hearing this so often (for the past 6 years) I'm beginning to feel as though it's a very rude question. It wouldn't occur to me to ask them to justify their 24 hours every day.

I always find myself at a loss for an answer. Sure, there are sarcastic ones I can think of , but I wouldn't say anything like that and other than that I really don't understand what they mean. So, I usually wrack my brain to come up with a list of some of the things I'm likely to do in a day (read, paint, cook, lunch with friends, etc.) which winds up sounding like a pretty lame answer, I guess. And, again it leaves me feeling as though it's none of their concern what I do with my time every day and why on earth must I justify it to others? Why must I be put on the spot to sit there and come up with a list of my day to day retirement activities? Is it that it's that our culture of busyness makes it more "noble" to work in many people's eyes?

I may get some comments here along the lines of, "Don't be so sensitive, they're probably just interested." But, I truly don't get the vibe that that's the way the question is being asked. When we say we're retired we rarely see them break into a smile being happy for us and then hear something like, "Wow, congratulations. That must be great!" Nope, it's so often a deadpan, "But, what do you DO all day long?" followed by a comment on how they could never be retired, they'd go nuts.

Anyone else tired of hearing that question?
I hate that question also and tell them the truth in response.
WHATEVER I WANT TO DO

They have difficulty with that answer especially when I explain that they do what they want to do and I do what I want to do. Most at that point are hard pressed to say they want to go to work as they really don't but can't afford to retire in most cases and are a tad envious that you are.
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