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I consider the question borderline-rude, because if they have to ask it in the first place, it translates into not understanding how people cannot work.
Not long ago this elder man ~ who still works ~ asked me what I would do if I didn't work. I just said, "Whatever I damn well want! I have at least 3 years of reading stacked in my book cases ~ I'll start with those!" I do NOT want to be a working elder! Too many things I want to do that I'm too tired to do now, and other things I want to learn to do.
Some people like to say that we need a purpose (work), but I say that the graveyard is full of people who liked to work.
You do understand though that working people who are close to retirement and ask what you do all day might not have a spouse, a dog, a house, a yard, a garden or stocks. They may live in an apartment or condo and don't know their neighbors who all work during the day and just wave in the parking lot/parking garage. So when they hear how you spend your time in retirement they might think "What am I going to do all day? I'm single, I rent, get take out all the time and I don't have a pet, garden, yard, grandchildren or porch to occupy my time. When I retire everybody I know will still be working or they'll be retired but won't be spending time with me in retirement, anymore, because they'll be attached to a retired spouse all day. With whom will I hang out and do things during the day?" Then they read the retirement magazines, news articles and books and those people who are loving retirement are doing things they don't do and don't sound like them either so they keep working.
I still think people who ask, "What do you do all day?" are scared of retirement and telling them what we do isn't making them less fearful, it's scaring them more because they can't relate to it.
Even if this the case, it doesn't excuse the rudness especially when delivered in a disapproving tone. Such people have some serious problems whether working or not with such empty lives. One can discuss without being rude about it. Such as congratulating the retiree then wistfully musing that I don't know if I would have enough to do. That keeps the problem where it lies instead of attacking the retiree. The way some folks deliver the question is similar to the rudness of asking why aren't you married.
Even if this the case, it doesn't excuse the rudness especially when delivered in a disapproving tone. Such people have some serious problems whether working or not with such empty lives. One can discuss without being rude about it. Such as congratulating the retiree then wistfully musing that I don't know if I would have enough to do. That keeps the problem where it lies instead of attacking the retiree. The way some folks deliver the question is similar to the rudness of asking why aren't you married.
....Some people like to say that we need a purpose (work), but I say that the graveyard is full of people who liked to work.
Yes, some people seem to see work as the only purpose, and if you are not working you cannot have a purposeful life. I cannot begin to understand how people can have such a blinkered view of life.
I believe that it is the Indians (fr. India) who have traditionally seen the final quarter of life as a graduation from work and a time of maturity and taking stock. And that this is the final, purpose of life.
In terms of our society (and my personal life) I can equate that with retirement, which has allowed me time to do those same things, but also to explore ideas and activities that I had little or no time for while working. In my experience you can arrive at retirement age, and find that you're much more of a lunkhead that you would like to have thought. And retirement provides a splendid opportunity to learn, to enjoy, to appreciate in ways that weren't possible before and to grow and wonder.
It's only now that I understand many of the things in my life that I was so busy doing for so many years.
I use to get that stupid question all of the time with little kids at home. Why do they care? Why are they so bothered about something that has no bearing on their life. Those who ask this question need to worry about what THEY are doing all day instead of someone else.
You do understand though that working people who are close to retirement and ask what you do all day might not have a spouse, a dog, a house, a yard, a garden or stocks. They may live in an apartment or condo and don't know their neighbors who all work during the day and just wave in the parking lot/parking garage. So when they hear how you spend your time in retirement they might think "What am I going to do all day? I'm single, I rent, get take out all the time and I don't have a pet, garden, yard, grandchildren or porch to occupy my time. When I retire everybody I know will still be working or they'll be retired but won't be spending time with me in retirement, anymore, because they'll be attached to a retired spouse all day. With whom will I hang out and do things during the day?" Then they read the retirement magazines, news articles and books and those people who are loving retirement are doing things they don't do and don't sound like them either so they keep working.
I still think people who ask, "What do you do all day?" are scared of retirement and telling them what we do isn't making them less fearful, it's scaring them more because they can't relate to it.
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You do understand though that working people who are close to retirement and ask what you do all day might not have a spouse, a dog, a house, a yard, a garden or stocks. They may live in an apartment or condo and don't know their neighbors who all work during the day and just wave in the parking lot/parking garage.
Why do you think living in an apartment or condo precludes people from knowing their neighbors? I live in an rental apartment and know my neighbors well. I don't have a porch or garden but my apartment building has a nice yard.
I do not have a spouse. I do not have a dog but I do have a cat. I plan to spend a great deal of time with her when I semi-retire making up for all the years I had to leave her in the morning watching her sadly watching me as I walked slowly toward the bus stop.
I really don't agree with you that those people who don't have the good stuff you mention keep working because they don't have anything else. I know people who have the "unenviable" life you describe who are retired and happy with what they have. I don't think people in this position sit around reading about those who are retired and what they do. I also know people who have it all but still keep working because they lack the imagination to do anything else.
In any case, I agree with the other posters that asking the "What do you do question" is rude.
I really don't agree with you that those people who don't have the good stuff you mention keep working because they don't have anything else. I know people who have the "unenviable" life you describe who are retired and happy with what they have. I don't think people in this position sit around reading about those who are retired and what they do. I also know people who have it all but still keep working because they lack the imagination to do anything else.
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You missed my point. The point isn't that those things are "good" or "bad." The point is they are different and if the stereotypical retirements that potential future retirees are reading about and discussing sound foreign to them, they may be afraid of leaving the workplace (which is not always just about work), trying to fill their days and finding friends.
The more I think about this, maybe the answer to the person who asks what you do all day is to tell them to join a retirement forum like this one so they can read about all kinds of retirements.
How many here have friends with an entirely different retirement than you have?
You missed my point. The point isn't that those things are "good" or "bad." The point is they are different and if the stereotypical retirements that potential future retirees are reading about and discussing sound foreign to them, they may be afraid of leaving the workplace (which is not always just about work), trying to fill their days and finding friends.
The more I think about this, maybe the answer to the person who asks what you do all day is to tell them to join a retirement forum like this one so they can read about all kinds of retirements.
How many here have friends with an entirely different retirement than you have?
As I've mentioned on other threads, my sister retires in a couple of weeks and is worried she'll be bored. I'm never bored.
Whenever another colleague announces their retirement date, the first thing out of my mouth is, "I'm jealous!"
The second thing is, "What are your plans?".
I figure I might pick up more ideas from them
I used to be the guy who asked newly retirees the question as well - only because I was looking for ideas for my own retirement and anticipating the fun things what were ahead of me. Used to help me get through the tough days at work as well.
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