Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm a city kid, now 71 years old and by myself with my dog here in rural Texas. Here's what I wish I'd known:
You need relatives or close friends in a rural area or you will not be accepted. They will inform the locals about you. No need to introduce yourself, they already know it all.
Gossip is rampant. Truth is irrelevant. Privacy does not exist.
Prices are higher and selection is limited so you either shop online or drive 25+ miles to the nearest city.
Basic medical care is available to stabilize you for transport via ambulance or helicopter to the nearest city.
Rural areas are not a priority when it comes to restoring power or clearing roads after a storm.
Everything is more expensive due to lack of competition.
Crime and drug use are accepted. Renters here have pit bulls and are armed. I have a Chihuahua and do not own a gun. I pay $900 a month plus electric for a 2 bedroom. The pet rent/deposit is $550.00. That is not a typo. I got it waived because I was forced into getting the dog. I had been broken into twice within 2 months of moving in.
Apts come with 2 deadbolts on everyone's front door. The population in this town is 4,000.
If it I could to turn back time, I never would have agreed to moving here from California. But the decision wasn't totally mine. My husband was born in Dallas so he told me it was ok for me to live here. He wasn't kidding. He died in 2017.
These things you list are normal for a rural town in Texas.
Unfortunately there usually isn't much of a way to get past the mistrust these places have of outsiders that clearly don't fit in. About the only way is to attend church or at least some church social functions, or some community functions. Sometimes there is a local hangout spot for coffee but these places are usually populated by farmers.
I think in your situation you should seriously consider moving as soon as your lease allows. You could find a retirement community in a larger metro area. Or something similar.
Or simply moving to a slightly larger city with say 25k or more people would make it a lot easier to fit in and keep your costs down. I live in such a city and its easy to get apts cheaper than you are paying. A 1 bd here is about 620 and no one has pitbulls. I couldn't see it being an issue being from California here either. I have friends here from Syria, Pakistan, Ethiopia, Malaysia, India, Mexico, Thailand and Turkey. They all like it.
You get into a larger city and the dynamic completely changes from a Rural small town. I grew up in a very rural community. I would have serious hesitations about moving into such a place even though I could likely fit in, simply because I know how they are. They only care about your family name, and if its not from there for at least a couple generations then you simply aren't going to ever fit in like a local. Everyone I know around my age from where I grew up has parents that went to school with my parents, and their grandparents went to school with my grandparents. In fact many of us can go back to great great grandparents.
You move into ANY small town in ANY US state. If you want to make friends, YOU have to make the adjustments to be accepted as a member of the community. Remember that everyone in that town has their friends, their community and the like. You DON'T, It is arrogant as hell to expect everyone ELSE to change when you yourself does not. That is why in general, Californians are among the least accepted transplants in most parts of the country.
I have moved to several small towns due to work assignments. First, you make friends with a lot of the people at work. That helps you meet more people in the community. Then you volunteer at one of the local charities. You open up a bank account at the local bank and introduce yourself to the head of the bank. He knows everyone in town and will help you a lot. Then you find a church. I do not care about the theology. No, I care about meeting people and making friends and establishing relationships. My parents were rather shocked that as a Catholic guy, I knew every Protestant minister on a first name basis in that small Southern town.
If the OP just sits there and mopes, he will be seen as one of those old bitter guys that NOONE wants to associate with.
You clearly identified the mistake, what kind of city to move to to avoid repeating the mistake, and are making solid plans for your next move. Good luck.
I believe there are habitable desert towns in TX. Whether they meet your other criteria, I don’t know. For starters, maybe a decent suburb of larger desert cities (near El Paso?) should be considered instead of only small cities themselves. Midland-Odessa? Fort Stockton? Alpine is still pretty small by comparison, as is Marfa.
This looks like a good place to say, "Welcome to Texas!".
I would not recommend El Paso or for that matter, any place within a 100 miles of the Federal border. If one thinks they have problems now, just be in that land. Marfa might be small (if it is) but I would not say it is a sleepy little town and as not one, perhaps expensive.
As Kathy Morningside said in "Miss Congeniality", "This is TEXAS! Everyone has a gun!", it is rather a State landmark. Not a requirement, perhaps, but one should not expect to be living in a gun free place.
So what if the power goes out for hours.......having a backup generator is just being prepared.
To the OP, for much of what was listed, yes, I would say someone sold someone the beans. I live 9ish miles before seeing a commercial establishment.....and I love it. Sorry to hear about the con but after all, this is TEXAS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShouldIMoveOrStayPut...?
I've always wondered why some Country Music artist hasn't written a song about the DRAWBACKS of country living....
"My Truck Broke Down Just The Other Day
The Mechanic Shop Is Over 50 Miles Away
A Coyote Just Introduced Himself To My Dog Rover
The Hospitals And Veterinarian Are Seven Towns Over
Dear God, I Miss My Coffee...... At The 7-Eleven
Who On Earth Said That Country Living.....Was Some Kinda Pure Heaven?"
...........
SO??????
As far as Coyotes go, first of all, they are like that and secondly, they can say, WE WERE HERE FIRST! Out here, I have coyotes, deer, feral hogs, foxes, rattlesnakes, copper heads, scorpions, fire ants, black widows, buzzards, hawks, owls and other things that could hurt......and I love it.
Secondly, about coffee, first of all, it's not 7-11, IT'S BUC-EES! Secondly, I make my coffee each morning.......cowboy coffee. Fill the pot, put the coffee atop the water, cook it like that. It's that kind of life.....and I love it!......and our beaches are pretty great, too!
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 03-01-2023 at 01:12 PM..
This looks like a good place to say, "Welcome to Texas!".
Secondly, about coffee, first of all, it's not 7-11, IT'S BUC-EES! Secondly, I make my coffee each morning.......cowboy coffee. Fill the pot, put the coffee atop the water, cook it like that. It's that kind of life.....and I love it!......and our beaches are pretty great, too!
Buc-ee's are only located in the eastern part of Texas and you have to live in a large town to be near one. 7-11 has a larger spread around the state and its US operations are based in Dallas.
The Hospital and the Veterinarian share an office.
You can't do this to me Lillie... The "Muse" Goddess had left the building, and you've envited her right back in...
Now ya'll go on and sing it with me now! Could go down as one of the classic duets...
"The Baptist Preacher Doubles As The Town Dentist
But He Won't Work On Seventh Day Adventists
If His Flock Don't Brush And Floss Every Day
I Wonder If They'll Get A Sermon On Tooth Decay
Now, My Idea Of Rocky Mountain High
Is Not The Meth Addicts Down At The Wash And Dry
If O'l Mr. Denver Were Alive Today
I'd Surely Like To Hear What He'd Have To Say
And My Granddaughter Just Phoned From L.A.... Said I Can Start Calling Her "Kevin"
Who On Earth Said This Country Living......Was Some Knda Pure Heaven?"
First off, Texas is Texas. Probably no more backward, right wing nut job state in the USA. But that is well known, and you knew it going there-- especially from California which is probably about as left leaning as you can get. That is a HUGE schism to broach.
OP< above you said the local crafting club was thrilled with your donation. That is a great place to start building friends and assimilating. One step at a time. You'll be fine if you make the effort.
4,000 people is not small by rural standards. Plenty of places to explore, people to meet, and opportunities to enjoy life. Make a bigger effort and you will find them. Might be best to park your California "beliefs" at the border and learn how to be "Texan"> Obviously there is a reason you moved there. Remember what it was and giddy up.
You obviously haven't lived too many places. Or you're just impersonating somebody who hasn't.
I've lived in Texas for about 8 years and in California for about 7. Not to mention years spent in 10 other states.
People are the same everywhere. There are crazy people, weird people and just plain old people everywhere. I've known people who hated California and regretted moving there. I've known people who hated Texas, and people who loved both places. There are DEFINITELY states that are more right wing than Texas. Whatever that means anyway. Austin is about as liberal as they come without being off the wall crazy like San Francisco.
Give up on politics. It rots your brain. And makes you prone to think through a tunnel.
You obviously haven't lived too many places. Or you're just impersonating somebody who hasn't.
I've lived in Texas for about 8 years and in California for about 7. Not to mention years spent in 10 other states.
People are the same everywhere. There are crazy people, weird people and just plain old people everywhere. I've known people who hated California and regretted moving there. I've known people who hated Texas, and people who loved both places. There are DEFINITELY states that are more right wing than Texas. Whatever that means anyway. Austin is about as liberal as they come without being off the wall crazy like San Francisco.
Give up on politics. It rots your brain. And makes you prone to think through a tunnel.
DH did some research for his employer back in 1990. He told me then Austin would turn into Plano. We sold the condo we intended to retire in and just went to Dallas. Austin is quickly becoming Plano.
I think adjusting to being alone is harder than where one is. A friend was widowed a year ago. She has an apartment in Dallas, but the rent is 2500 a month. You could move in next to her. Then discover what you want to be be now that you can have a choice. She had never spent a night alone in her life. At 84, neither have I. Except when DH goes off the spring training for a few days a year.
I'm a city kid, now 71 years old and by myself with my dog here in rural Texas. Here's what I wish I'd known:
You need relatives or close friends in a rural area or you will not be accepted. They will inform the locals about you. No need to introduce yourself, they already know it all.
Gossip is rampant. Truth is irrelevant. Privacy does not exist.
Prices are higher and selection is limited so you either shop online or drive 25+ miles to the nearest city.
Basic medical care is available to stabilize you for transport via ambulance or helicopter to the nearest city.
Rural areas are not a priority when it comes to restoring power or clearing roads after a storm.
Everything is more expensive due to lack of competition.
Crime and drug use are accepted. Renters here have pit bulls and are armed. I have a Chihuahua and do not own a gun. I pay $900 a month plus electric for a 2 bedroom. The pet rent/deposit is $550.00. That is not a typo. I got it waived because I was forced into getting the dog. I had been broken into twice within 2 months of moving in.
Apts come with 2 deadbolts on everyone's front door. The population in this town is 4,000.
If it I could to turn back time, I never would have agreed to moving here from California. But the decision wasn't totally mine. My husband was born in Dallas so he told me it was ok for me to live here. He wasn't kidding. He died in 2017.
Lest you think I am nuts, I want to share about a conversation I had not long ago with a young woman who had moved here from San Diego with her elderly parents. We chatted while waiting in a very long line at the one and only grocery store. She was thrilled to learn that I was a fellow Californian. She was shocked at the behavior of the locals toward her and the tears started. I gave her some tips on how to cope but she said she was going to go back to where she was staying, pack up and go back to San Diego immediately. Sure wish I could do that, earthquakes or not.
It’s been about 30 years right?
I guess sometimes things just build up.
I don’t see me being able to handle 3 months of Texas but that’s ok, it’s not for everyone.
I live near 5 miles of a town of 101 people and 15 miles from a town with 6K.
Maybe 25k in the greater area to the the west a half hour drive.
I dig it.
People are nice and they will have no shame about asking you any questions they might have.
It’s just the way things are done here.
There is always going to be something that is not perfect and that’s ok, I’m good with it.
Volunteering the the local rescue group, seeing and greeting people with respect goes a long way here and doing the local hobbies keeps me happily busy.
I’m glad I left my stress in San Francisco .
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
....
.......
The "Muse" Goddess had left the building, and you've envited her right back in...
.
