san diego racism.lol.. funny crap (live in, club, gangs)

[odannyboi]

SoCal is all about the sufer boy or Jcrew type. And in all honesty, alot of blacks are leaving SoCal. Black neighborhoods in LA are now Mexican.

NYC and the NE is different... I am amazed at how integrated everything is over there. White guys playing ball with black guys and Puerto Ricans. You don't even see that stuff in Chicago (but there is a ton of IR dating here).

SD has a large pop... just because a few girls blew you off due to being black, doesn't mean they are all like that. SD is also diverse, but in my limited experience, it looks somewhat segregated much like Chicago. But I wouldn't call it "racism." Some girls just have preferences and again, SoCal is all about the beach culture with Abercrombie and such.

Maybe you should take up surfing? lol

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by earlyretirement

I agree probably a good idea from the start to just post your photo or at least say in your profile you are black. Personally I've never been into the online dating thing except for 2 experiences in the mid 90's. I never really understood it vs. just meeting people through traditional means.

I had 2 experiences with online dating and both were really really bizarre. After that I never tried it again.

1) Keep in mind this was back when the internet was fairly new. When AOL was the prevalent source of connecting to the internet. I still remember paying internet rates by the hour....sometimes I'd get $900 a month internet bills.... amazing how far we've come since then!

Anyway, the first time I think I posted a profile on AOL. I never had problems dating but it was new and I thought why not try it. So I correspond with a few girls. Some are really beautiful. I was surprised. So with one girl we exchange information, exchange photos, talk on the phone. For a few weeks we talked on the phone and I was traveling for work like crazy then. So it was hard to plan a date to meet in real life. Well, one day she says let's meet. So I plan to meet her close to my office in this restaurant where I go quite a bit with my clients. The hostess knows me because I'm always in there in meetings with doctors.

So I get to the restaurant and the hostess asks "which doctor do you have lunch with". I tell her I have a semi-blind date but I've seen her photo at least. Jennifer, the hostess asks her name and I tell her. As we are looking around at the tables, literally at the same time, Jennifer and I both say, "oh sh*t". The only single girl sitting at the table is a really obese girl. So I tell her that isn't the photo that she sent me! Jennifer is laughing hysterically.

So I make my way over to the table and I say, "Michelle???". She says, "Earl Lee!....hi great to meet you finally". I'm really stunned and she can see the pure and utter shock on my face. She asks if I'm disappointed. I tell her very honestly that yes I'm very disappointed. Disappointed that she lied. That any relationship or any basic friendship that starts off on a lie is doomed to fail. The funny thing is she spent about 5 minutes actually trying to say the photos of the girl she sent were her! I told her that any relationship that starts out based on a lie isn't worth one pursuing. So she asks if I still want to have lunch and I tell her no. The only positive in that story is I ended up having lunch with Jennifer, the hostess and we had a pretty good summer romance. LOL.

That was online dating experience #1.

The 2nd online dating experience I had was not all bad. Actually in some ways great but had a bad ending!

2) So I was a bit traumatized from the first experience, but I had already been exchanging emails with this girl that seemed really cool and her photo was also really gorgeous. After my first bad experience I was very leery and took down my profile and was only talking to girls that I already had started communicating with.

The thing that kept me motivated was I actually thought I met "Jessica" before. I have a photographic memory and I KNEW I had seen her before or met her. I kept swearing to her that we met before but she said we didn't. Anyway, we go on a date and hit it off. GREAT girl! Funny, charismatic, good sense of humor, beautiful, educated. I kept asking myself what the catch was?

So we dated a few months and we never went to her place. We always came to my place as she said her roommate was the roommate from hell. I didn't mind as I was a single bachelor and had a nice place.

In the back of my mind I always would tell her that I saw her somewhere before. I just couldn't remember where. You can imagine my surprise one day I'm walking through my office and on the way to the kitchen in my office I pass a cubicle (one of many many cubicles that I passed daily). I didn't know all the employees in the company and I had many people working under me that I didn't know or never talked to. As I was walking by, there she was! Jessica!!! One of the same photos that she had sent me cropped so that it was only her. Only this photo had some guy in it! That's why I KNEW I saw her face before.... I obviously had seen it a few times passing this cubicle but never really stopped to look...only saw it in passing.

I was a bit freaked out. So I ask my secretary who sat in cubicle #40 by the kitchen and she tells me it was a part time contractor that we used often. I asked if he had a girlfriend. She tells me no...not a girlfriend ...a WIFE! I was freaked out. It turned out that my Jessica was married to one of my employees!

I abruptly ended the relationship and never told her that I knew. Needless to say after those 2 experiences I never tried online dating again....

Dude

[NYSD1995]

I always wonder when I see threads like this... did you ever even visit San Diego before you moved here? Did you look around? Did you see even one person who looked and acted like you?

This isn't NYC or LA or Chicago or Atlanta, with multi-ethnic creative and professional urbanites running around all over the place. It's just not that kind of a cosmopolitan, worldly, integrated city. That's part of it's charm, actually. And that not racism, it just is what it is, and it attracts people who are looking for that. And what real integration does exist is found in the working class areas where people of all races mingle a lot more than in the yuppie, wealthy parts of town.

[UrbanDecay]

Maybe it has nothing to do with race at all, and girls just don't like you.

[Oerdin]

It's hard for me to get worked up over this issue because picking a mate is one of the few cases where people get to make their own rules for what ever reason they want. Attraction is a hard thing to measure so you just have to believe what other people say is attractive to them. If you've run into a few girls who aren't in to you for what ever reason then just keep getting out there and eventually you'll find a girl who is in to you. That's just the way it works.

[LexSteel]

Mr manz I dont get it, I've told you this like 3 times in other forums, San Diego is not a hard place to find someone to date especially since you say your from jersey!! Granted your going to find white or mexican girls who may not date you because your black but for the most part based on my ecperiences out there that hasn't even been a problem, in fact me and my other friends who have lived out there (who are black) were shocked at the number of interacial couples we seen and the amount of white or Mexican girls that pretty much were down for what ever with us.

This is why I dont get your posts about women there, you say you live in a nice apartment downtown thats prime real estate!!, all you have to do is step outside and start talking to women!! forget about the whole internet thing thats something you rely on when you were like 12 and had a curfew, your grown man go outside and make contact....if your really from new jersey I find it hard to believe your having trouble picking up women in SD. Whether your Don Juan or Steve Urkel there is absolutely no way your not getting play out there!!!!! When you compare North East women to San Diego women in terms of attitude and ease of approach its not even a competition, SD women are kind and will give you the time of day North East women are some of the hardest women in the whole country to approach because their more standoffish (not saying they cant be approached)

[mrmanz]

Originally Posted by LexSteel

Mr manz I dont get it, I've told you this like 3 times in other forums, San Diego is not a hard place to find someone to date especially since you say your from jersey!! Granted your going to find white or mexican girls who may not date you because your black but for the most part based on my ecperiences out there that hasn't even been a problem, in fact me and my other friends who have lived out there (who are black) were shocked at the number of interacial couples we seen and the amount of white or Mexican girls that pretty much were down for what ever with us.

This is why I dont get your posts about women there, you say you live in a nice apartment downtown thats prime real estate!!, all you have to do is step outside and start talking to women!! forget about the whole internet thing thats something you rely on when you were like 12 and had a curfew, your grown man go outside and make contact....if your really from new jersey I find it hard to believe your having trouble picking up women in SD. Whether your Don Juan or Steve Urkel there is absolutely no way your not getting play out there!!!!! When you compare North East women to San Diego women in terms of attitude and ease of approach its not even a competition, SD women are kind and will give you the time of day North East women are some of the hardest women in the whole country to approach because their more standoffish (not saying they cant be approached)

haha good advice.. ive been working hard from home so not much time to get out.. but yeah im done with online dating.. are u still in san diego?

[djxpress]

earlyretirement. Thank you for sharing. I really don't have much to say besides what was said before...if it was me I'd be saying "FML".


P.S. Back in the late 90s AOL chat rooms were pretty crazy. I met a few girls there back in the day.

[mrmanz]

LexSteel, are you really the lex steel im thinking of? if so then yeah no wonder u got no problem getting girls..lol

[LexSteel]

Originally Posted by mrmanz

LexSteel, are you really the lex steel im thinking of? if so then yeah no wonder u got no problem getting girls..lol

LMAO!! thats funny but I grew up watching his work lol. I plan on moving to San Diego I've been out htere a couple of times and absolutely love it, the dating scene is one of the best positives about SD. I still live in NYC and am tired of it in all aspects