11-01-2011, 07:07 PM
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read
22,690,784 times
Reputation: 7297
Our mother's caregiver has just given us notice. Mom has serious issues with paranoia (her whole life she's had paranoid personality disorder) and now with progressive dementia we need to come up with a new solution. She is so mean no one can stand working with her and she hates everyone. But alone she keeps phoning police with complaints about everything and becomes delusional. Since she can no longer drive, she also can't live with support in order for shopping, etc. No family members live close to her and she refuses to live with anyone or have anyone live with her. So, we are thinking a senior place for dementia patients. She is very heathy, physically and we need to estimate she will live another 10 years so we need a reasonable place to be able to fund such long term placement. Any recommendations? Advice?
11-01-2011, 07:39 PM
Location: South Korea
5,242 posts, read
13,080,225 times
Reputation: 2958
You're in Dallas? What town do you want her to stay in?
11-02-2011, 06:29 AM
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read
22,690,784 times
Reputation: 7297
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mayorhaggar
You're in Dallas? What town do you want her to stay in?
Looking for Bay area all the way down to Santa Cruz; that's where she lives and brother is in Santa Cruz. She refuses to leave CA
11-02-2011, 06:51 AM
Location: San Francisco
23 posts, read
66,115 times
Reputation: 33
When we had to do some research on the subject, "Carlton Senior Living" and "Tender Rose Home Care" were two facilities that kept popping up as recommendations. We ended up not needing to use one, so unfortunately, I can't give you a "first hand" recommendation. Good luck.
11-02-2011, 03:58 PM
12,823 posts, read
24,406,112 times
Reputation: 11042
This is a very difficult topic. The Bay Area is great for multimillionaire elders. There are excellent places for them, no matter how independent or dependent they are. For the rest of the elder population, not so much.
11-03-2011, 11:21 AM
Location: Boca Raton, Florida
44 posts, read
264,481 times
Reputation: 35
Go on Kindred healthcare website, they have many nursing facilities in the bay area and nationally. They are certainly not the Ritz Carlton for seniors or anything, but they will be caring and likely treat your mother well. Speak with the admissions coordinator at the facility of your choosing and they will help see if she qualifies for assistance and or work out payment options ect.
11-03-2011, 11:36 AM
Location: Los Altos Hills, CA
36,659 posts, read
67,539,821 times
Reputation: 21244
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sf.bonnie.sf
When we had to do some research on the subject, "Carlton Senior Living" and "Tender Rose Home Care" were two facilities that kept popping up as recommendations. We ended up not needing to use one, so unfortunately, I can't give you a "first hand" recommendation. Good luck.
Carlton is okay. I know some people there.
Only one problem. It seems like someone in her condition would also require a private companion(that you would find outside of Carlton) on top of being in an assisted living facility. They dont usually provide intensive one-on-one care. Normally each caregiver there is assigned 6-8 clients that they watch during their shift and occasionally a Medications Technician will come by to adminster meds. Other than that, its a hard job for that one caregiver. Convalescent and Nursing homes are probably even less equipped to provide what it looks like you are looking for.
If that's the case, then a live-in caregiver at home is probably a better idea than a nursing home from a budget standpoint. You can actually recieve more intense care for less money by hiring a live-in caregiver if possible. I dont know your mom's living situation.
As far as her condition, there are medications that can help to calm her down even for a live-in caregiver to help her. That actually might help with transitioning into a Carlton, or Aegis or Sunrise etc. I wouldnt recommend doses that are too strong in the beginning-you want to see how much is enough-not a huge dose that could be way over the top that borders on sedation.
Furthermore, another important factor IMO is that your parent feels safe, comfortable and at ease with her companion/caregiver--when they gel, it changes the dynamic from employer-employee to care reciever-caregiver.
This business of caring for the elderly/sick in the most intense of conditions has become a huge industry for people in my family for some reason
and as a result, I have become a little knowledgable myself.
LOL.
Good luck with your dear mother. It must be so hard to see her in this state, but we look at the grand scheme of things and hopefully our faith keeps us strong and our memories of loved ones in their prime reminds us of how lucky we are to have them in our lives.
11-03-2011, 11:46 AM
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read
22,690,784 times
Reputation: 7297
Quote:
Originally Posted by
18Montclair
Carlton is okay. I know some people there.
Only one problem. It seems like someone in her condition would also require a private companion(that you would find outside of Carlton) on top of being in an assisted living facility. They dont usually provide intensive one-on-one care. Normally each caregiver there is assigned 6-8 clients that they watch during their shift and occasionally a Medications Technician will come by to adminster meds. Other than that, its a hard job for that one caregiver. Convalescent and Nursing homes are probably even less equipped to provide what it looks like you are looking for.
If that's the case, then a live-in caregiver at home is probably a better idea than a nursing home from a budget standpoint. You can actually recieve more intense care for less money by hiring a live-in caregiver if possible. I dont know your mom's living situation.
As far as her condition, there are medications that can help to calm her down even for a live-in caregiver to help her. That actually might help with transitioning into a Carlton, or Aegis or Sunrise etc. I wouldnt recommend doses that are too strong in the beginning-you want to see how much is enough-not a huge dose that could be way over the top that borders on sedation.
Furthermore, another important factor IMO is that your parent feels safe, comfortable and at ease with her companion/caregiver--when they gel, it changes the dynamic from employer-employee to care reciever-caregiver.
This business of caring for the elderly/sick in the most intense of conditions has become a huge industry for people in my family for some reason
and as a result, I have become a little knowledgable myself.
LOL.
Good luck with your dear mother. It must be so hard to see her in this state, but we look at the grand scheme of things and hopefully our faith keeps us strong and our memories of loved ones in their prime reminds us of how lucky we are to have them in our lives.
Police put her in mandated (52/50 ??) mental evaluation at the county hospital a few months ago due to the constant daily phone calls accusing different people of stealing from her and meds were administered and sent home with her. She flushed them down the toilet and threw them at caregiver prior to getting hold of bottle to throw out...... no one, myself included, is permitted to sleep in her home or she will stay up all night. Refuses to sleep when strangers (guess that's what I have been relegated to) are sleeping under her roof in case there's a plot to kill or kidnap her........we would have to put her in a straight jacket to get her to a doctor.....we have tried many times.
11-03-2011, 12:07 PM
Location: Los Altos Hills, CA
36,659 posts, read
67,539,821 times
Reputation: 21244
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Squirl
Police put her in mandated (52/50 ??) mental evaluation at the county hospital a few months ago due to the constant daily phone calls accusing different people of stealing from her and meds were administered and sent home with her. She flushed them down the toilet and threw them at caregiver prior to getting hold of bottle to throw out...... no one, myself included, is permitted to sleep in her home or she will stay up all night. Refuses to sleep when strangers (guess that's what I have been relegated to) are sleeping under her roof in case there's a plot to kill or kidnap her........we would have to put her in a straight jacket to get her to a doctor.....we have tried many times.
So sorry to hear that.
Do you mind if I ask which county she is in?
Based on the info you posted, I think at this point, she is probably beyond the capability of a place like Carlton to help her at this time.
Is she currently taking meds? Sometimes its the medications that are exacerbating these emotions.
11-03-2011, 02:09 PM
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read
22,690,784 times
Reputation: 7297
Quote:
Originally Posted by
18Montclair
So sorry to hear that.
Contra Costa. Does not take any medications beyond daily multi-vitamin she buys herself.
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Urban houses (%)
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House/condo owner moved in on average (years ago)
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People in Group quarters - Military quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - On base (%)
People in Group quarters - Barracks, unaccompanied personnel housing (UPH), (Enlisted/Officer), ;and similar group living quarters for military personnel (%)
People in Group quarters - Transient quarters for temporary residents (%)
People in Group quarters - Military ships (%)
People in Group quarters - Group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes or halfway houses for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Other group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Religious group quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - Dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Agriculture workers' dormitories on farms (%)
People in Group quarters - Job Corps and vocational training facilities (%)
People in Group quarters - Other workers' dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Crews of maritime vessels (%)
People in Group quarters - Other nonhousehold living situations (%)
People in Group quarters - Other noninstitutional group quarters (%)
Residents speaking English at home (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking other language at home (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Foreign born (%)
Class of Workers - Employee of private company (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed in own incorporated business (%)
Class of Workers - Private not-for-profit wage and salary workers (%)
Class of Workers - Local government workers (%)
Class of Workers - State government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Federal government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed workers in own not incorporated business and Unpaid family workers (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - No fuel used (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - No fuel used (%)
Armed forces status - In Armed Forces (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Veteran (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Nonveteran (%)
Fatal accidents locations in years 2005-2021
Fatal accidents locations in 2005
Fatal accidents locations in 2006
Fatal accidents locations in 2007
Fatal accidents locations in 2008
Fatal accidents locations in 2009
Fatal accidents locations in 2010
Fatal accidents locations in 2011
Fatal accidents locations in 2012
Fatal accidents locations in 2013
Fatal accidents locations in 2014
Fatal accidents locations in 2015
Fatal accidents locations in 2016
Fatal accidents locations in 2017
Fatal accidents locations in 2018
Fatal accidents locations in 2019
Fatal accidents locations in 2020
Fatal accidents locations in 2021
Alcohol use - People drinking some alcohol every month (%)
Alcohol use - People not drinking at all (%)
Alcohol use - Average days/month drinking alcohol
Alcohol use - Average drinks/week
Alcohol use - Average days/year people drink much
Audiometry - Average condition of hearing (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear a whisper from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear normal voice from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - Ears ringing, roaring, buzzing (%)
Audiometry - Had a job exposure to loud noise (%)
Audiometry - Had off-work exposure to loud noise (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high blood pressure (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Checking blood pressure at home (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Frequently checking blood cholesterol (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high cholesterol level (%)
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at supermarket/grocery store
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at other stores
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on eating out
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on carryout/delivered foods
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at supermarket/grocery store (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at other stores (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on eating out (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on carryout/delivered foods (%)
Current Health Status - General health condition (%)
Current Health Status - Blood donors (%)
Current Health Status - Has blood ever tested for HIV virus (%)
Current Health Status - Left-handed people (%)
Dermatology - People using sunscreen (%)
Diabetes - Diabetics (%)
Diabetes - Had a blood test for high blood sugar (%)
Diabetes - People taking insulin (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Diet health (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Milk product consumption (# of products/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals not home prepared (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals from fast food or pizza place (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Ready-to-eat foods (#/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Frozen meals/pizza (#/month)
Drug Use - People that ever used marijuana or hashish (%)
Drug Use - Ever used hard drugs (%)
Drug Use - Ever used any form of cocaine (%)
Drug Use - Ever used heroin (%)
Drug Use - Ever used methamphetamine (%)
Health Insurance - People covered by health insurance (%)
Kidney Conditions-Urology - Avg. # of times urinating at night
Medical Conditions - People with asthma (%)
Medical Conditions - People with anemia (%)
Medical Conditions - People with psoriasis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with overweight (%)
Medical Conditions - Elderly people having difficulties in thinking or remembering (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever received blood transfusion (%)
Medical Conditions - People having trouble seeing even with glass/contacts (%)
Medical Conditions - People with arthritis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with gout (%)
Medical Conditions - People with congestive heart failure (%)
Medical Conditions - People with coronary heart disease (%)
Medical Conditions - People with angina pectoris (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had heart attack (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had stroke (%)
Medical Conditions - People with emphysema (%)
Medical Conditions - People with thyroid problem (%)
Medical Conditions - People with chronic bronchitis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with any liver condition (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had cancer or malignancy (%)
Mental Health - People who have little interest in doing things (%)
Mental Health - People feeling down, depressed, or hopeless (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much (%)
Mental Health - People feeling tired or having little energy (%)
Mental Health - People with poor appetite or overeating (%)
Mental Health - People feeling bad about themself (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble concentrating on things (%)
Mental Health - People moving or speaking slowly or too fast (%)
Mental Health - People having thoughts they would be better off dead (%)
Oral Health - Average years since last visit a dentist
Oral Health - People embarrassed because of mouth (%)
Oral Health - People with gum disease (%)
Oral Health - General health of teeth and gums (%)
Oral Health - Average days a week using dental floss/device
Oral Health - Average days a week using mouthwash for dental problem
Oral Health - Average number of teeth
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to control insects (%)
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to kill weeds (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People walking or bicycling (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - Average hours a day doing sedentary activities
Physical Activity - Average hours a day watching TV or videos
Physical Activity - Average hours a day using computer
Physical Functioning - People having limitations keeping them from working (%)
Physical Functioning - People limited in amount of work they can do (%)
Physical Functioning - People that need special equipment to walk (%)
Physical Functioning - People experiencing confusion/memory problems (%)
Physical Functioning - People requiring special healthcare equipment (%)
Prescription Medications - Average number of prescription medicines taking
Preventive Aspirin Use - Adults 40+ taking low-dose aspirin (%)
Reproductive Health - Vaginal deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Cesarean deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Deliveries resulted in a live birth (%)
Reproductive Health - Pregnancies resulted in a delivery (%)
Reproductive Health - Women breastfeeding newborns (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had a hysterectomy (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had both ovaries removed (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever taken birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women taking birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used Depo-Provera or injectables (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used female hormones (%)
Sexual Behavior - People 18+ that ever had sex (vaginal, anal, or oral) (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had anal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had any sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had anal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had any kind of sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first had sex
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female vaginal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a woman (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of woman performed oral sex on in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male anal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a man (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male oral sex partners in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - People using protection when performing oral sex (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of times people have vaginal or anal sex a year
Sexual Behavior - People having sex without condom (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male vaginal sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Circumcised males 18+ (%)
Sleep Disorders - Average hours sleeping at night
Sleep Disorders - People that has trouble sleeping (%)
Smoking-Cigarette Use - People smoking cigarettes (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with smell (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with taste (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had wisdom teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had tonsils teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a loss of consciousness because of a head injury (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a broken nose or other serious injury to face or skull (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had two or more sinus infections (%)
Weight - Average height (inches)
Weight - Average weight (pounds)
Weight - Average BMI
Weight - People that are obese (%)
Weight - People that ever were obese (%)
Weight - People trying to lose weight (%)
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and as a result, I have become a little knowledgable myself.
