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Old 11-01-2011, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,690,784 times
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Our mother's caregiver has just given us notice. Mom has serious issues with paranoia (her whole life she's had paranoid personality disorder) and now with progressive dementia we need to come up with a new solution. She is so mean no one can stand working with her and she hates everyone. But alone she keeps phoning police with complaints about everything and becomes delusional. Since she can no longer drive, she also can't live with support in order for shopping, etc. No family members live close to her and she refuses to live with anyone or have anyone live with her. So, we are thinking a senior place for dementia patients. She is very heathy, physically and we need to estimate she will live another 10 years so we need a reasonable place to be able to fund such long term placement. Any recommendations? Advice?
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Old 11-01-2011, 07:39 PM
 
Location: South Korea
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You're in Dallas? What town do you want her to stay in?
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Old 11-02-2011, 06:29 AM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,690,784 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayorhaggar View Post
You're in Dallas? What town do you want her to stay in?
Looking for Bay area all the way down to Santa Cruz; that's where she lives and brother is in Santa Cruz. She refuses to leave CA
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Old 11-02-2011, 06:51 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
23 posts, read 66,115 times
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When we had to do some research on the subject, "Carlton Senior Living" and "Tender Rose Home Care" were two facilities that kept popping up as recommendations. We ended up not needing to use one, so unfortunately, I can't give you a "first hand" recommendation. Good luck.
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Old 11-02-2011, 03:58 PM
 
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This is a very difficult topic. The Bay Area is great for multimillionaire elders. There are excellent places for them, no matter how independent or dependent they are. For the rest of the elder population, not so much.
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Old 11-03-2011, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, Florida
44 posts, read 264,481 times
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Go on Kindred healthcare website, they have many nursing facilities in the bay area and nationally. They are certainly not the Ritz Carlton for seniors or anything, but they will be caring and likely treat your mother well. Speak with the admissions coordinator at the facility of your choosing and they will help see if she qualifies for assistance and or work out payment options ect.
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Old 11-03-2011, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Los Altos Hills, CA
36,659 posts, read 67,539,821 times
Reputation: 21244
Quote:
Originally Posted by sf.bonnie.sf View Post
When we had to do some research on the subject, "Carlton Senior Living" and "Tender Rose Home Care" were two facilities that kept popping up as recommendations. We ended up not needing to use one, so unfortunately, I can't give you a "first hand" recommendation. Good luck.
Carlton is okay. I know some people there.

Only one problem. It seems like someone in her condition would also require a private companion(that you would find outside of Carlton) on top of being in an assisted living facility. They dont usually provide intensive one-on-one care. Normally each caregiver there is assigned 6-8 clients that they watch during their shift and occasionally a Medications Technician will come by to adminster meds. Other than that, its a hard job for that one caregiver. Convalescent and Nursing homes are probably even less equipped to provide what it looks like you are looking for.

If that's the case, then a live-in caregiver at home is probably a better idea than a nursing home from a budget standpoint. You can actually recieve more intense care for less money by hiring a live-in caregiver if possible. I dont know your mom's living situation.

As far as her condition, there are medications that can help to calm her down even for a live-in caregiver to help her. That actually might help with transitioning into a Carlton, or Aegis or Sunrise etc. I wouldnt recommend doses that are too strong in the beginning-you want to see how much is enough-not a huge dose that could be way over the top that borders on sedation.

Furthermore, another important factor IMO is that your parent feels safe, comfortable and at ease with her companion/caregiver--when they gel, it changes the dynamic from employer-employee to care reciever-caregiver.

This business of caring for the elderly/sick in the most intense of conditions has become a huge industry for people in my family for some reason and as a result, I have become a little knowledgable myself.

LOL.

Good luck with your dear mother. It must be so hard to see her in this state, but we look at the grand scheme of things and hopefully our faith keeps us strong and our memories of loved ones in their prime reminds us of how lucky we are to have them in our lives.
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Old 11-03-2011, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,690,784 times
Reputation: 7297
Quote:
Originally Posted by 18Montclair View Post
Carlton is okay. I know some people there.

Only one problem. It seems like someone in her condition would also require a private companion(that you would find outside of Carlton) on top of being in an assisted living facility. They dont usually provide intensive one-on-one care. Normally each caregiver there is assigned 6-8 clients that they watch during their shift and occasionally a Medications Technician will come by to adminster meds. Other than that, its a hard job for that one caregiver. Convalescent and Nursing homes are probably even less equipped to provide what it looks like you are looking for.

If that's the case, then a live-in caregiver at home is probably a better idea than a nursing home from a budget standpoint. You can actually recieve more intense care for less money by hiring a live-in caregiver if possible. I dont know your mom's living situation.

As far as her condition, there are medications that can help to calm her down even for a live-in caregiver to help her. That actually might help with transitioning into a Carlton, or Aegis or Sunrise etc. I wouldnt recommend doses that are too strong in the beginning-you want to see how much is enough-not a huge dose that could be way over the top that borders on sedation.

Furthermore, another important factor IMO is that your parent feels safe, comfortable and at ease with her companion/caregiver--when they gel, it changes the dynamic from employer-employee to care reciever-caregiver.

This business of caring for the elderly/sick in the most intense of conditions has become a huge industry for people in my family for some reason and as a result, I have become a little knowledgable myself.

LOL.

Good luck with your dear mother. It must be so hard to see her in this state, but we look at the grand scheme of things and hopefully our faith keeps us strong and our memories of loved ones in their prime reminds us of how lucky we are to have them in our lives.
Police put her in mandated (52/50 ??) mental evaluation at the county hospital a few months ago due to the constant daily phone calls accusing different people of stealing from her and meds were administered and sent home with her. She flushed them down the toilet and threw them at caregiver prior to getting hold of bottle to throw out...... no one, myself included, is permitted to sleep in her home or she will stay up all night. Refuses to sleep when strangers (guess that's what I have been relegated to) are sleeping under her roof in case there's a plot to kill or kidnap her........we would have to put her in a straight jacket to get her to a doctor.....we have tried many times.
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Old 11-03-2011, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Los Altos Hills, CA
36,659 posts, read 67,539,821 times
Reputation: 21244
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirl View Post
Police put her in mandated (52/50 ??) mental evaluation at the county hospital a few months ago due to the constant daily phone calls accusing different people of stealing from her and meds were administered and sent home with her. She flushed them down the toilet and threw them at caregiver prior to getting hold of bottle to throw out...... no one, myself included, is permitted to sleep in her home or she will stay up all night. Refuses to sleep when strangers (guess that's what I have been relegated to) are sleeping under her roof in case there's a plot to kill or kidnap her........we would have to put her in a straight jacket to get her to a doctor.....we have tried many times.
So sorry to hear that.

Do you mind if I ask which county she is in?

Based on the info you posted, I think at this point, she is probably beyond the capability of a place like Carlton to help her at this time.

Is she currently taking meds? Sometimes its the medications that are exacerbating these emotions.
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Old 11-03-2011, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,690,784 times
Reputation: 7297
Quote:
Originally Posted by 18Montclair View Post
So sorry to hear that.

Do you mind if I ask which county she is in?

Based on the info you posted, I think at this point, she is probably beyond the capability of a place like Carlton to help her at this time.

Is she currently taking meds? Sometimes its the medications that are exacerbating these emotions.

Contra Costa. Does not take any medications beyond daily multi-vitamin she buys herself.
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