35-year-old single gay male interviewing in Foster City... (San Francisco, Oakland: transplants, apartment)

[curiousdd]

Hello,

This month I am interviewing for a job in Foster City. I currently live near downtown Denver and have only been to the Bay Area once, so I am asking a few upfront questions to get a general feel for the area.

I know that San Francisco is "the place to be" for someone in my demographic, but I am concerned about the commute time from there to Foster City. I currently live 15 miles from my job, and while Denver traffic is no picnic, I imagine that rush hour in the Bay Area is worse - am I right? This potential job would be a M-F 8-5 schedule, so what would be a realistic commute time from SF?

The next concern is (big surprise) cost of living. I don't yet know how much the job would pay (we'll cross that bridge if I actually get an offer) but my guess is roughly 80-100K. If I want a 1 bedroom apartment, with amenities like an off-street parking space, dishwasher, cable/internet ready, forced air heat/AC, and laundry facilities in building (I'm assuming W/D in unit is unaffordable), is $2000/month realistic? Would I need to increase my ceiling to $2500/mo? It looks like San Mateo and Foster City are not much cheaper than SF, but would be much better in terms of commute time. Are there areas in between SF and Foster City that might be more affordable but are still decent/safe?

Last but not least - finding a good social fit. I've relocated a few times, and I've lived in both urban and suburban areas, and experience has taught me that it is easier to meet people in the city than in the suburbs. I'm not the type to go clubbing every weekend (after all, I'm 35 and not 25), but with previous experiences, the suburbs were mostly families, while the city had far more people that were transplants and/or singletons and/or just looking to make new friends. Are the burbs on the peninsula different than that, or are they much like burbs anywhere else? Are there nearby burbs that are worth checking out, or might it be best to just forget about the burbs altogether, live in the city, and just deal with the traffic and COL? I've been able to do that with Denver, I just don't know if that would be as doable in the Bay Area.

In conclusion... like everyone else on the planet, I'm just trying to find the best balance of work satisfaction vs. social life vs. traffic patterns vs. cost of living. Thanks in advance!!

[likealady]

I'm sure you'll be able to meet plenty of people your age and single even living down the peninsula. Not everyone likes/can afford the city and they have to live somewhere. Regarding living arrangements, prices in the Bay Area usually start at a certain amount and don't get cheaper- you just get more space. So for example $2500 rent in a nice area of the city will get you a studio, $2500 in San Mateo gets you a bedroom. As someone who used to commute out of the city, I recommend people live as close as they can to their workplace. You will have plenty of time on weekends to enjoy San Francisco.

ETA: The Foster City area is very nice and San Mateo has a downtown that's pretty active. I promise you it's not a snorefest of old families.

[curiousdd]

Thank you for the quick and informative reply! That helps alot to set expectations accordingly. So maybe San Mateo might be a good compromise - close to work, a little more space with the high rent, and perhaps a decent social scene. Definitely something I will consider!

[jade408]

I'd try San Mateo, for an easier commute. You'll be close to SF for the weekends, and there is enough to do there that it'll keep you busy during the week.

[ServoMiff]

It is pretty tough to find the right balance between commute, cost of living and social desires in this area, much more so than anywhere else I've lived. You'll have no trouble finding your demographic in the city, but I'll trust the opinions of others when it comes to the demographics of Foster City/San Mateo.

You absolutely HAVE to adjust your expectations in one area or another in order to reach a little more harmony. I moved from Orlando, with a 1500 sq ft 3 BR townhouse where we paid $1,500 a month, to Walnut Creek (east of Oakland about 15 miles) to around 1,000 sq ft 1 BR condo and paid $3k a month (that's expensive for WC, but we paid for the newness/amenities of the building + the close proximity to the BART station). However, my wife works in the city and I work in Pleasanton. Someone is going to get the short straw in our situation. My wife's commute to the SoMa district was around 90 minutes each way on the train/bus and on the most popular BART line, which was pretty miserable for her. My commute was bus or driving myself 17 miles south to Pleasanton, which was pretty miserable in the afternoons, sometimes taking over an hour.

In order to try and find a better balance, we just rented an apartment in the Cole Valley neighborhood in the city (officially moving this coming Monday), paying $2,495/mo for an old, old 1 BR apartment that's part of a quad-plex and probably around 650 sq ft. This puts my wife 15-20 mins from work, and I now have the long commute on BART/Muni out to Pleasanton - however, I'm going the opposite of most people, so it's not likely to be as bad as what my wife experienced. I'm excited about moving into the city, but we had to take a major downgrade in amenities just to save $500 a month and some time. I think it will be worth it, but time will tell. It's a major adjustment from a guy like me that grew up in suburban Louisville, KY, but I'm interested enough to give it a shot.

Best wishes should you choose to come out here.

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Broad brush ... once you decide not to live in the City ... San Mateo would be preferable to Foster City.

Foster City is a "new town" - a planned community ala Irvine down in OC, or Reston VA near DC. Not only is it very much a "family" town it is now a preferred place for relatively newly arrived immigrant families from Asia who want new homes or newer homes as opposed to the much older stock west of US-101. Not the most gay friendly atmosphere.

Meanwhile, West of US-101 and north of 92, you will find a much more urban, funky area that, being less appealing to young families in search of suburban quietness, obviously is more appealing to other demographic groups. Bonus - downtown San Mateo actually has some restos that don't close at 9 or 10PM! A rarity on the Peninsula not to mention even certain hoods in the City.

[curiousdd]

Thanks for the additional feedback. This helps alot as I do my upfront research. Again, it's too soon to tell if this move will actually come to fruition, but it's great to know this info for a starting point!