Money vs Happiness - Is it worth staying 9 more months. (San Diego: lease, student loan)

[usamathman]

Hello Everyone,

Would like to get your opinion.

Moved to Bay Area four months ago for new job. Wasn't excited at all about moving to SF. Had visited off and on and really didn't like the place. Decided to suck it up and make the move a few months back. Plan was to do 1.5-2 years, save money and pay off debt.

Long story short, I'm living in an area of SF that I am not happy with to save $$ on rent. I don't have any family or friends here. Don't drink or smoke. Mainly spend my weekends at home or renting a zipcar and riding around different parts of the city. Every once in a while I'll check out a music show. Honestly feel very out of place here in SF.

The Pros
My current job is in tech (like almost everyone else). If I can make it 8 more months on the job, I am due a yearly bonus and stock that would equal around $90k before taxes. This payout after taxes would be enough to pay off my student loan debts and allow me to start fresh. The savings from my base would be enough to have a nice emergency fund as well.

The problem is, I literally get depressed every time I think about having to stay another 8 months in SF.

I've spent hours trying to think through as many strategies as I could to help me cope with the idea of staying here through the 1 year mark.

1. Move to Lake Merritt area
2. Find a woman to keep me company
3. Take a weekend trip out of the city every month

But I always come back to the same thoughts of wanting to get out of here.

I'm currently interviewing for a couple of gigs that would pay a comparable base salary and allow me to live in a more ideal city. However there would be no big bonus or stock payouts, which means it would take at least another 5 years to pay off loans.

Wondering what your thoughts are on my situation. Do you think the allure of big payout is worth sacrificing happiness to stay in SF?

Any direction is great.

[bmw335xi]

You only live once, do what makes you happy. Don’t be stupid and pick up and leave with no job lined up, no savings, etc, but find a job and then move.

[marcopolo666]

Considering the general lack of patience and need for instant gratification of most millennials, you'll probably bail because you just can't hack it.

Frankly, I vote for "suck it up" for 9 months. All you have to do is put in 8-9 months and you are debt-free? I think it's pretty much a no-brainer. The exception would be if you seriously, really, really think that the depression would cause you long-term harm. In which case, long-term-health {NOT short-term-happiness - health} trumps money.

And hopefully, just the idea of "only a few months and I will have EVERYTHING paid off - that's why I am doing this" will carry you through and help lift the depression. Also, once you finish your "stint" (or "jail time" if you prefer), you will have padded your resumé with another job, and (hopefully) picked up experience to make you more attractive to a new employer elsewhere. And you get mucho brownie points when you say in an interview (in 9 months) "I really didn't like the situation, but I think the only fair thing was to give it a year before making a decision - to see if things got better (they didn't) - but I try to see things through, and give things a chance, rather than bailing if it isn't all roses after a few weeks or months".

You can also try to network like crazy (find other people who work in your field for both (maybe) pleasure, but also as a step to a next job (which you don't even hint at until you've gotten that year-anniversary bonus check cashed). But you can have everything lined up and be all ready prepped to go to look for a new job when that anniversary hits.

And "the secret" (it isn't much of a secret) - it is much easier to find a job when you already have one (vs. being unemployed). Employers are ALSO going to ask "why are you bailing/did you bail on a job after only 6 months" (if you make it to the interview stage instead of being disqualified out of the gate).

There are all kinds of ways to meet people - do that. Think about what you like doing - hiking, cooking, painting, hiking, languages, photography, music, reading, docent tours of SF, dogs, whatever - and put yourself in "fan groups", or "hiking clubs" or volunteer or take a class or two at one of the local colleges to meet people who like the same thing. Look into doing "drop-in" volunteering at the library to read to kids or teach English as a 2nd language (well, read to or be available for English conversation) and then flirt with the people who work at the library. Heck *volunteer* at one of the local colleges - lots of young attractive people there.

I would have jumped at the chance to pay off all my debt back when I was 22, and be able to sock away money for a fresh start.

{tongue in cheek} All the youngsters these days are just whiners who don't know what a hard day's work is, an think that life must always be fun and that there are invisible unicorns flying around pharting rainbows. {end of joke}

Just suck it up and think about how debt-free, stress-free, and obligation-free you will be in 8-9 months, with your entire life in front of you and no money obligations tying you down.

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

9 months will go by before you know it. Just put your brain into meditation/zombie mode and wait it out. It will be worth it.

9 years - not so much. But 9 months, piece of cake. You can do it.

[likealady]

Originally Posted by usamathman

If I can make it 8 more months on the job, I am due a yearly bonus and stock that would equal around $90k before taxes.

Is this a sure thing you have in writing? If so wait it out and find something else to occupy your time.
If not, no use making yourself miserable.

[Ruth4Truth]

Yeah, OP; I vote for staying 9 more months. When you get your bonus, and probably a raise, you'll be able to negotiate for a higher salary at whatever jobs you apply for after that. And you'll have paid off your loans. That's huge! DO make a trip out of the city one weekend/month. Go up to Marin County, maybe stay in a cabin on Tomales Bay. Enjoy nature, to decompress. Go kayaking on Tomales Bay. Or stay in Pt. Reyes Station, enjoy the spectacular views. Drive to the beach through redwood forests. On another weekend, go up through Sonoma to the Fort Ross area. Enjoy nature, check out history. 3rd getaway: camp in Big Basin State Park, at the north end of Santa Cruz County, southwest of San Jose. Enjoy nature, Hike past waterfalls.

You can get through this! Enjoy GG Park. Go to the Asian Art Museum. Go for a hike at Marin Headlands, and soak up the view. You can go fishing on the beach below, you know. Then have lunch at a little restaurant in Mill Valley. Or go to Fort Funston at the south end of the City, and watch the hang gliders glide off the cliffs above the beach. Go over to Oakland, to check out the Oakland Museum, walk in the redwood park in the hills, enjoy Bay views, and maybe take in a concert or jazz club after dinner. Another weekend, drive to Drake's Bay in Marin, where Sir Frances Drake made landfall. Stroll past Great Blue Herons, on your way to the beach. Take a picnic for yourself.

But...what happens if you grow to like the place after that? Then what? Uh-oh!

C'mon, OP. It won't be so bad. We'll boost you through it. Teamwork!

Check out the swing dance lessons in GG Park at noon on Sundays. You may make a new friend or two. Even if you don't dance, you can enjoy the music and the friendly vibe. Afterwards, walk over to the Cinderella Bakery on Balboa at 6th, and have some Russky food for lunch. Get some yummy bakery goods to take home. You can get some pirozhki to take home and heat up for dinner, or for lunch at work on Monday. Sundays the Park is closed to traffic, and you can rent skates, to skate through the park. Are we having fun yet?

Have you been to the Embarcadero, and explored the Ferry Building? Rumor has it, there's a great ice cream place there.

[JJonesIII]

I would not anticipate things turning around on the "miserability factor" any time soon (there's a reason you're miserable).

But it also doesn't sound like you have a specific job lined up yet, correct? So what would be the point of not hanging in there if you have nothing to go to? Prepping for interviews would certainly take up some of that time but the real conundrum is what do you do if someone makes you a job offer in the next couple of months? Most employers are not going to wait 7 months for you. I feel your pain though. 9 months can feel like an eternity if you're miserable (and the weather in San Francisco is certainly not going to help you there...it's almost as depressing as Seattle). I'm not sure I'd waste my time trying to meet someone either if you're just planning on leaving anyway. So what can you do solo? Certainly there are books/podcasts, online courses if any interest you, you could try and learn a musical instrument, movies, join a health club that's not too expensive (since it appears you're trying to save money), volunteer at an animal shelter and walk some dogs, and finally there are a few posters here that if you pick an argument with will go on for at least 100 pages with you and that will certainly waste a lot of time.

[Tall Traveler]

Originally Posted by usamathman

Hello Everyone,

Would like to get your opinion.

Moved to Bay Area four months ago for new job. Wasn't excited at all about moving to SF. Had visited off and on and really didn't like the place. Decided to suck it up and make the move a few months back. Plan was to do 1.5-2 years, save money and pay off debt.

Long story short, I'm living in an area of SF that I am not happy with to save $$ on rent. I don't have any family or friends here. Don't drink or smoke. Mainly spend my weekends at home or renting a zipcar and riding around different parts of the city. Every once in a while I'll check out a music show. Honestly feel very out of place here in SF.

The Pros
My current job is in tech (like almost everyone else). If I can make it 8 more months on the job, I am due a yearly bonus and stock that would equal around $90k before taxes. This payout after taxes would be enough to pay off my student loan debts and allow me to start fresh. The savings from my base would be enough to have a nice emergency fund as well.

The problem is, I literally get depressed every time I think about having to stay another 8 months in SF.

I've spent hours trying to think through as many strategies as I could to help me cope with the idea of staying here through the 1 year mark.

1. Move to Lake Merritt area
2. Find a woman to keep me company
3. Take a weekend trip out of the city every month

But I always come back to the same thoughts of wanting to get out of here.

I'm currently interviewing for a couple of gigs that would pay a comparable base salary and allow me to live in a more ideal city. However there would be no big bonus or stock payouts, which means it would take at least another 5 years to pay off loans.

Wondering what your thoughts are on my situation. Do you think the allure of big payout is worth sacrificing happiness to stay in SF?

Any direction is great.

Find a fun girl to hang out with....and tough it out.

[Ruth4Truth]

OP, I'd like to add, that if you have the option to move to the East Bay (I'd assumed you were locked in with a 1-yr. lease, but I guess not...?), you should consider it. Advantages: sunnier weather, quite possibly friendlier people, better nightclub/music options, if you're into that, cleaner streets, lower rents. The minus side: BART can grate on people's nerves (the metal wheel screeching is loud), and it depends on if BART runs close to where you work, as to whether the commute will be more convenient than what you have now. Don't forget to factor the cost of BART into your calculations. If you do consider a move, include Rockridge and North Berkeley in your search.There have been incidents of crime-gang assaults on BART cars during peak commuter times in downtown Oakland the last couple of years.

[Radical347]

As much as I want to vote for you leaving since I don’t want anyone to stay in SF if they’re going to be completely miserable (same applies to anywhere else for that matter)...you should stay if you’re 100% sure you’re getting the bonus. Paying off your debt is a pretty big deal and 9 months is a very short amount of time to pay in exchange for a life of being debt-free.

I think your ideas 1 and 3 are good. 2, maybe not, especially if you don’t plan on staying here long term. If you stay, would you be able to move to Lake Merritt if you think that will help? Also, weekend trips are very easy and not too expensive. I’m not sure what your interests are, but there are super easy flights to LA, San Diego, Las Vegas, Reno/Tahoe, etc.