What are friendships like in Sarasota? (Port Charlotte, North Port: rental, loan, houses)

[Cardiff by the Sea]

I lived in Arkansas, Oklahoma, Indiana, and Ohio before moving to CA. In the Midwest, friends want to spend time with friends. People drop in because they are in the neighborhold and see your car home. I did things with my friends like picnics or going to the gym together or bicycle rides together, When I was in college in Oklahoma I had dinner with my friends four nights a week. In Indiana I spent every Saturday night at friends house. Friends would help me move, etc. In Ohio neighbors would volunteer to loan me tools and help me with my projects. There was a sense of community and caring. In Arkansas my mother played cards weekly with her best friends. Groups of people met for lunch daily.

Here in CA people are more interested in exercising in the beautiful weather than connecting with people. We lived 17 years in a CA beach community in the same house. I was only in our immediate neighbors house 1-2 times in 17 years. People say "we have to do lunch". It takes newcomers about 2 years to realize no one ever means it--it just a thing to say. You call people to get together and they either don't call back, or they say yes and then cancel with a lame excuse at the last minute.

What are friendships like there? Is there a sense of community? Do people drop in on people? What do friends usually do together. I hope the answer is not fishing.

[TamRE]

It is a hit or miss depending where you live. My daughter in law lives in Sarasota and has been there for 6 years and has never made a friend other than some people she works with. She only says hi to some of her neighbors. They just don't get together.

When I lived in North Port, southern Sarasota County, I met most of my neighbors within a 3 block radius. I knew their name, their pets names, their kids names. And that is because I walked my dog. I would say hi. I would stop and chat. I also got to know all of my immediate neighbors very well. We would get together and play cards, have dinner, celebrate birthdays, and more. I since have moved to Port Charlotte. I know my neighbors. We get together once in awhile. But it is not nearly as friendly as my old neighborhood in North Port. But, I still get together with my old neighbors in North Port to do the same things - play cards, go out to breakfast or dinner, have house parties, etc. We only live about 10 minutes drive from them.

The best way I have found to meet people is to join a club or organization. Or if you move into a deed-restricted community with a clubhouse or recreation building that has lots of activities and you get involved in those activities. We joined the Corvettes of Charlotte County and we do activities with them at least two to three times per month and even more in the winter time when all of the snow birds are here.

Each neighborhood is unique. But I think it comes right down to who your neighbors are and how friendly they choose to be. It also depends on how many of them are snow birds. If they are mostly gone in the summer and you are the only one here year round, it is very different. My parents live in Punta Gorda in a community and most of their friends leave for the summer. That is when I get to spend more time with my parents.

[Californianz]

Originally Posted by Cardiff by the Sea

I lived in Arkansas, Oklahoma, Indiana, and Ohio before moving to CA. In the Midwest, friends want to spend time with friends. People drop in because they are in the neighborhold and see your car home.

Yea, that's not going to happen I don't think unless you are in a very small community that shares activities on a regular basis.

I couldn't tell you the name of one single neighbor I ever had in CA (8 different houses - 8 different neighborhoods). Maybe it's just us though - we were always busy.

So far, in 6 months in FL I'm not seeing much different than that, though I have had a couple neighbors introduce themselves (in our rental house neighborhood) we never heard from them again and all go about our own business. We're moving to our purchased house in 3 months in a large golf community, where we are already very well known (new gal + low handicap = instant recognition). Time will tell. But FL so far impresses me as more of a big city/suburb vibe....at least in Sarasota. People respect your space and leave you alone.

[Picshooter]

People are people what can you say? Maybe I am in the minority but I don't want people "dropping in" unexpectedly. There have been times when we made plans to do something we needed or wanted to do only to see a car pull in, and forget about the plans and entertain. Don't get me wrong I like friends but time is precious.Even more so when both spouses work and there are kids involved.
A whole other side of the equation is families. We tend to do a whole lot more with family than friends.

Sounds like the original poster doesn't like fishing or exercising. There are many activities here than can be done as a group or solo. Plenty of opportunity to be a volunteer.
True Friendship rarely happens overnight.

[gypsychic]

Originally Posted by Picshooter

People are people what can you say? Maybe I am in the minority but I don't want people "dropping in" unexpectedly. There have been times when we made plans to do something we needed or wanted to do only to see a car pull in, and forget about the plans and entertain. Don't get me wrong I like friends but time is precious.Even more so when both spouses work and there are kids involved.
A whole other side of the equation is families. We tend to do a whole lot more with family than friends.

Sounds like the original poster doesn't like fishing or exercising. There are many activities here than can be done as a group or solo. Plenty of opportunity to be a volunteer.
True Friendship rarely happens overnight.

You are not in the minority, we don't like people "dropping in" either. It's a different story if we are out in the yard, or hubby is in the garage working on projects, he doesn't mind people stopping in to chat. I think the "dropping in unexpectedly" thing is more prevalent in the midwest; my in-laws and everyone up there seems to do that and think it's OK. Different expectations, that's all.

One can make plenty of friends joining groups or organizations with mutual interests (as has been suggested) There is no shortage of that here.

[zmgriffith]

If people "POP IN" at my house, they'd better have a bottle with them.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by zmgriffith

If people "POP IN" at my house, they'd better have a bottle with them.

Exactly!!!!

IMO, I've been in downtown SRQ since 2007. Volunteering with the SFF for four years made making friends easy; we all had in common movies & film events. Been involved with the community radio station, WSLR & they have tons of things going on for people to attend as well as get involved as a volunteer. Personally, it's like this: people aren't going to beat down your door anywhere anymore, between work & family, life is busy. Friendships are what you make of them no matter where you are. Getting out and about and doing something you enjoy will give you the opportunity to meet people.

[Rushmore]

Just this morning, these folks spied me jes a settin on ma porch, and they stopped for a spell and we all went down to the fishin hole and had a grand old time.



Yes, I wish the world were more like this, but I have lived all over this country and never once have experienced it.

[joeyddog]

I've gotten myself involved in a bunch of activities both in my community and through courses. I've found people to be very friendly and open to new relationships. I feel that snowbirds are more open to developing friendships perhaps because they don't have roots here. I also don't like anyone to just drop in- that is something that makes me uncomfortable. There is the website meetup.com and also a Newcomers Club which might help in the beginning. I met a guy while playing bridge who invited me to join the Connecticut Club after learning I'd lived there in the past. When I lived in NYC I never connected with anyone except at work, it was very depressing

[Sunnydee]

Originally Posted by Rushmore

Just this morning, these folks spied me jes a settin on ma porch, and they stopped for a spell and we all went down to the fishin hole and had a grand old time.



Yes, I wish the world were more like this, but I have lived all over this country and never once have experienced it.

I always wanted to grow up and live in a place like Mayberry. I still do.