Lack of single women (Seattle: health, assault, place)

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

Some people are too judgmental.. D*mned if you , D*mned if you dont..

The whole card idea sounds silly to me though, but some women enjoy silly gestures..

I don't know, maybe some may think I am silly, but I always thought handing women I found attractive a flower was a more intriguing gesture. It's not overly romantic, it's not a commitment, it's just me wanting to share something I adore (a flower) with somebody I find may also be special (a kind and sweet woman). I would go pick the flower, then if I see the woman, I would go up to her and say, "This beautiful flower needs a beautiful woman to love it." I am always amazed at women's reactions.. You can include your business card with the flower. At least, it gives you a bit more of a flare, something a bit spicy, versus looking like a business-man soliciting a lunch meeting.

Passing out cards just seems so sterile and business-like, somewhat the way I view most Western relationships. But hey, since that is the environment, it probably would be more respected then some silly, old-fashioned romantic gesture.

Even better idea, why not just hand them a copy of your dating resume. Include, experience, income, past-relationships, etc, etc.

A flower is good. But you're still left with the problem of how to initiate contact after she walks away. Do you ask her for her number, putting her on the spot if she's not interested, or do you give her your number?

[RotseCherut]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

A flower is good. But you're still left with the problem of how to initiate contact after she walks away. Do you ask her for her number, putting her on the spot if she's not interested, or do you give her your number?

Ruth, it was just an example of something I would consider trying over passing out my "dating business cards". Yes, after giving her the flower, I would try to start a conversation. I would try to make it seem a bit more natural and less robotic. I'm not claiming to be any expert at soliciting American women for a date. But, I just know if I was to start asking women out, I would try to make a romantic or slightly romantic gesture. From there, I would try to initiate a chat. In my opinion, it's hard just asking somebody you never even had one conversation with for their phone number. I would definitely need to start initiating a chat. From there, I ask her to join me for tea, coffee, etc, something simple. Then, I get the phone number. I cannot just be like, oh gee, you're sexy, I am Rotse Cherut, this is my Phone #, what is your Phone #.. Blah blah blah. Also, most women, from what I have seen, want to think you are attracted to something else about them than their outer shell. Even though, in all honesty, their appearance is probably what would attract you to a total stranger over anything else, you have to play the game making it appear that isn't the case.

All this is hypothetical.. I am basing these things off of things I read and that other romantically adventurous friends I have had have taught me. Actually, the whole thing about giving women flowers was taught to me by an Italian friend I had named Gustavo. He wasn't that attractive and had little money. But, he had a very vibrant personality and a cool Italian accent. He seem to attract lots of women. I liked his style and persona.

As for me, I am from a culture where unmarried men and women are not suppose to intermix. I guess now that I am getting older and still celibate, I have decided that I should try to make an attempt. So, I am going to follow with Gustavo's advice. That is, if I can get past my own convictions. Something tells me in my heart that dating and interacting with women is wrong, but I know I will probably live alone forever if I don't. As my lack of income and cultural practices will probably keep me from ever marrying a Jewish woman in Seattle.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Gentoo

This may get me into some hot water but I kinda like this post too. If only because it sort of speaks to me as I am often hesitant about approaching women too so it's advice for me.

You still have to approach, card in hand or not. Either strike up a casual chat wherever you run into someone who catchers your eye (grocery store, coffee shop, Pike's Place Market, nightclub, bookstore, bus stop, gym, the list is endless), or put yourself in situations that allow you to get to know women gradually over time, and them to get to know you, such as hiking groups (the Mountaineers), meet-ups, community activities, political or enviro groups and other volunteer activities, those neighborhood soccer leagues (I'm told that in Seattle that's how a lot of couples met. Great if you like soccer...), Sister City committees, again, an endless list of possibilities). Once you get her into a conversation, if she responds well, smiles, seems interested, step up and ask if you could buy her a coffee (if you're someplace near a coffee stand/shop, for example), or if she'd like to get together sometime for coffee. At some point, you're still going to have to either get her number, or give her yours. The approach is just the warm-up for the crucial moment.

[League54]

this may sound harsh but...

I was hoping to get responses from guys (transplants) who are not only financially successful but would normally do well with dating women in other locations (cities, states).

This thread has dissolved into "helping the helpless."

Hate to break it to some of you but...if you had trouble getting girls as a young man in your 20's, and continue having trouble getting women in your 30's, you may just have to come to terms with the idea that there is little or no hope for you when it comes to dating.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

You still have to approach, card in hand or not. Either strike up a casual chat wherever you run into someone who catchers your eye (grocery store, coffee shop, Pike's Place Market, nightclub, bookstore, bus stop, gym, the list is endless), or put yourself in situations that allow you to get to know women gradually over time, and them to get to know you, such as hiking groups (the Mountaineers), meet-ups, community activities, political or enviro groups and other volunteer activities, those neighborhood soccer leagues (I'm told that in Seattle that's how a lot of couples met. Great if you like soccer...), Sister City committees, again, an endless list of possibilities). Once you get her into a conversation, if she responds well, smiles, seems interested, step up and ask if you could buy her a coffee (if you're someplace near a coffee stand/shop, for example), or if she'd like to get together sometime for coffee. At some point, you're still going to have to either get her number, or give her yours. The approach is just the warm-up for the crucial moment.

Thanks Ruth!

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by League54

this may sound harsh but...

I was hoping to get responses from guys (transplants) who are not only financially successful but would normally do well with dating women in other locations (cities, states).

This thread has dissolved into "helping the helpless."

Hate to break it to some of you but...if you had trouble getting girls as a young man in your 20's, and continue having trouble getting women in your 30's, you may just have to come to terms with the idea that there is little or no hope for you when it comes to dating.

What's funny is, every time I accept those terms, I end up in a relationship LOL

[RotseCherut]

Originally Posted by League54

this may sound harsh but...

I was hoping to get responses from guys (transplants) who are not only financially successful but would normally do well with dating women in other locations (cities, states).

This thread has dissolved into "helping the helpless."

Hate to break it to some of you but...if you had trouble getting girls as a young man in your 20's, and continue having trouble getting women in your 30's, you may just have to come to terms with the idea that there is little or no hope for you when it comes to dating.

Well, considering how many guys I know who were successful at dating who are paying heavy alimony and child support payments and are only allow to visit their kids ever other weekend, I guess being single has its advantages. Actually, as sad as I may feel being single, I see how screwed so many people's relationships are in this country and it actually sometimes feels like a breath of fresh air. Just think about the large number of divorces and the probability that the one you gave your heart will probably be in bed with another guy sooner or later anyway. So much for all your romantic pursuits and those long, wondrous nights of passion and intimacy. What was the significance of it anyway?

I've never really made the effort, because I just don't think Western women would end up making good wives in the end. It's no mystery to me why so many guys I have met now just seek out women for sexual encounters, rather then any serious type of relationship.

However, just like with every hope and fantasy, you think maybe there is just that one.. But, who knows..

[Gentoo]

Woooow

[Nicomis]

Originally Posted by League54

this may sound harsh but...

I was hoping to get responses from guys (transplants) who are not only financially successful but would normally do well with dating women in other locations (cities, states).

This thread has dissolved into "helping the helpless."

Hate to break it to some of you but...if you had trouble getting girls as a young man in your 20's, and continue having trouble getting women in your 30's, you may just have to come to terms with the idea that there is little or no hope for you when it comes to dating.

I don't agree. A little clean up and re-programming and most of these guys could be helped. Money or not. The trouble is not a lack of available women, or "Seattle women" or women of any particular area, it's that men in this particular area are allowing the political correctness, and feminism to scare them out of acting like a man. Women are attracted to assertive, confident men. From what I have been told, there is a shortage of that in Seattle. Which makes the pickings good for those of us who have "got a pair". Shy, bitter,loners, don't do well anywhere.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by Nicomis

I don't agree. A little clean up and re-programming and most of these guys could be helped. Money or not. The trouble is not a lack of available women, or "Seattle women" or women of any particular area, it's that men in this particular area are allowing the political correctness, and feminism to scare them out of acting like a man. Women are attracted to assertive, confident men. From what I have been told, there is a shortage of that in Seattle. Which makes the pickings good for those of us who have "got a pair". Shy, bitter,loners, don't do well anywhere.

I think you may be on to something here. I was able to get dates in San Diego AKA "Man Diego", a city with a heavy PC culture as well. My last GF told me that one of the things that attracted her to me was that I acted like a guy. At the time I had no idea what the hell she meant by that until she explained pretty much what you just did. That are more masculine men there but they tend to be the "hold my beer while I light this" types.