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This is a tough thread to find a home for. I thought I would post here since it deals with a consumer paying for something and or paying for a future service. Just looking for some opinions. I have been thinking about this tipping topic a lot recently. You see I am getting married in New York in about a month and weddings are unique in the Tri State area when compared to the other parts of the country, minus maybe California. They are very expensive, more than they have to be. They get out of hand very easily as reception halls and services all try to out do each other. It is very competitive as an industry. Personally, I find it a license to steal
Here is my concern. It seems tipping has gotten a bit out of hand but thats just my opinion. I am reading a lot on these wedding forum sites my fiancee belongs to and they all talk about how much you give this vendor and how much you give that vendor but if the vendor providing the service for your wedding is the owner of the business, you do not tip them. People float amounts like 2.00-3.00 a head at a wedding to calculate a tip for the maitre-d at a wedding reception. I am having 200 people at my wedding. If I follow that calculation, thats a potential 600.00 tip. For what I ask? The person is doing their job--they are getting paid to be a Maitre-D at a wedding hall; the wedding hall already charges me something in line with like a 20% gratuity on the entire event. To me that is a tip for the staff. Why tip on top of that? Now I do not mind giving tips if someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, but for someone to entertain a 600.00 tip, that person better cook my steak himself/herself, cut it and serve it to me and follow me around the entire night. Do you think tipping is getting out of hand? I do not want to be faced with a situation where I tip because it has just become "common practice" or "standard operating procedure". I mean in some cases you are either paying it already, or the service does not warrant it at all. Take a normal purchase for instance-- I go into a starbucks or I go into Dunkin donuts and there may be a tip cup there. You take your kids or your wife/GF/Fiancee for ice cream and there is a tip cup. What could these people possibly do that is above and beyond what their job description entails--(ie. pouring a cup of coffee) I am not looking to get into a debate on whether tips help people who get paid less (ie.waitress, etc). As I said, I do not mind tipping and tip well when the service is above expectations. I would never short change anyone. I am just looking to get some opinions on whether this is just the way it is or if people notice that people are looking for a little gravy on top of what they normally do just because they can. My two cents. Whats yours?
There are some guidelines for tips and then there are some that seem to have been written by the industries that they represent. Weddings are different, howwver, especially if you are dealing with venues that typically are used exclusively for special events, since the staff do depend upon tips for their livelihood, though it has grown a little excessive in some cases as to what is expected as a tip. And, the orchestrations that go on behind the scenes to pull off a special event successfully tend to draw upon the competencies of all staff, so in that respect, I can see tipping well for an event where problems are mitigated, and thus the enjoyment of the day is enhanced.
I am generally a generous tipper, by nature, especially if it's a business or personal service that I patronize regularly. I do sometimes pay into the tip can or jar, for carry out, especially at local places where one gets to know the staff. This can come in handy, as it has for me on more than one occassion, arriving to the business a couple of minutes after closing, but since the staff knew me, they took care of me. Had I not gotten to know them or tipped them, I don't think they would go out of their way to do so, nor should they, since they are well within their rights to say the business is closed. It's not always about the immediacy of the extra service, I have found, but it should be a choice to tip, not something that one feels compelled to do by an overly obvious jar that says "TIPS" in huge type on it.
They are very expensive, more than they have to be. They get out of hand very easily as reception halls and services all try to out do each other.
These services are expensive and competitive only because people think they have to drop thousands of dollars on an elegant, overpriced wedding. Don't buy the service, and you don't have to pay the tip for it!
Quote:
People float amounts like 2.00-3.00 a head at a wedding to calculate a tip for the maitre-d at a wedding reception. I am having 200 people at my wedding. If I follow that calculation, thats a potential 600.00 tip. For what I ask? The person is doing their job--they are getting paid to be a Maitre-D at a wedding hall; the wedding hall already charges me something in line with like a 20% gratuity on the entire event. To me that is a tip for the staff. Why tip on top of that?
This is a tough thread to find a home for. I thought I would post here since it deals with a consumer paying for something and or paying for a future service. Just looking for some opinions. I have been thinking about this tipping topic a lot recently. You see I am getting married in New York in about a month and weddings are unique in the Tri State area when compared to the other parts of the country, minus maybe California. They are very expensive, more than they have to be. They get out of hand very easily as reception halls and services all try to out do each other. It is very competitive as an industry. Personally, I find it a license to steal
Here is my concern. It seems tipping has gotten a bit out of hand but thats just my opinion. I am reading a lot on these wedding forum sites my fiancee belongs to and they all talk about how much you give this vendor and how much you give that vendor but if the vendor providing the service for your wedding is the owner of the business, you do not tip them. People float amounts like 2.00-3.00 a head at a wedding to calculate a tip for the maitre-d at a wedding reception. I am having 200 people at my wedding. If I follow that calculation, thats a potential 600.00 tip. For what I ask? The person is doing their job--they are getting paid to be a Maitre-D at a wedding hall; the wedding hall already charges me something in line with like a 20% gratuity on the entire event. To me that is a tip for the staff. Why tip on top of that? Now I do not mind giving tips if someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, but for someone to entertain a 600.00 tip, that person better cook my steak himself/herself, cut it and serve it to me and follow me around the entire night. Do you think tipping is getting out of hand? I do not want to be faced with a situation where I tip because it has just become "common practice" or "standard operating procedure". I mean in some cases you are either paying it already, or the service does not warrant it at all. Take a normal purchase for instance-- I go into a starbucks or I go into Dunkin donuts and there may be a tip cup there. You take your kids or your wife/GF/Fiancee for ice cream and there is a tip cup. What could these people possibly do that is above and beyond what their job description entails--(ie. pouring a cup of coffee) I am not looking to get into a debate on whether tips help people who get paid less (ie.waitress, etc). As I said, I do not mind tipping and tip well when the service is above expectations. I would never short change anyone. I am just looking to get some opinions on whether this is just the way it is or if people notice that people are looking for a little gravy on top of what they normally do just because they can. My two cents. Whats yours?
I agree with you. At some point, we are going to be tipping everyone.
I do notice that at Dunkin Donuts, say, I rarely get a thank you when I throw my change in the tip cup. That is really annoying because I don't HAVE to tip there; the waitress at dinner, Yes, I HAVE to tip, and I tip well, but at Dunkin Donuts I do not HAVE to tip, so if I do throw my change in the cup, It would be nice to hear a thank you. (I worked in a dunkin donuts type place as a teenager, and we were hardly ever tipped. Our boss would not allow a "tip cup" and tippers were few and far between. We were paid a fair wage, for teenagers that is, and lets face it coffee shops are not on the high salary end of the employment range, but it certainly was appreciated when we did get a tip. Maybe that is why I always throw my change in the cup, and why i get annoyed when the server shows not an inkling of appreciation or gratitude)
Tipping a maitre'd 600.00, well that sounds like quite a lot of money. Maybe I should go into that field.
There is an element of "this is your job, I have paid for a service, now I have to give you extra money" when it comes to tipping. And it seems that the list of people whom you should tip is ever growing. Whenever I am questioning a tip for a certain person, I look online and try to find several recommendations for a tip amount, then I average them and tip around that figure.
(I do wonder who makes up those tipping guidelines)
If at some point we will be tipping everyone, then we should install a tip cup by our front door. If someone rings the doorbell and we open the door, they have to tip us.
Sounds like you're already hucking out the big bucks....so what's six hundred more right . Really I think ohiogirl81 has it right. I tip the pizza guy cause he's burning gas. I tip the waiters and waitresses if they do a good job. I don't abide by anyone else's rules of gratuities. I worked for tips long ago and I worked hard for anything I got and I never made anyone feel like they owed me. I knew the tip was "extra goody". Do what you feel to do.
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Do what you feel to do
. Really I think ohiogirl81 has it right. I tip the pizza guy cause he's burning gas. I tip the waiters and waitresses if they do a good job. I don't abide by anyone else's rules of gratuities. I worked for tips long ago and I worked hard for anything I got and I never made anyone feel like they owed me. I knew the tip was "extra goody". Do what you feel to do.
