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i have a ds who is l8..and now out of the school system..WHAT DO I DO NOW???????We are in West Va..and our resources are very limited.......i am trying to make the transition from school days to every day life..He is MR he doesn't read well.........physically no problems..sequential steps he gets confused...........and HE does NOT think he is special needs..the world is messed up not him.............so i have a teenager that wants what other kids have........to be able to drive, live on his own, College, girls,,etc.does this sound familiar to anyone............please holler my way.........i am at my wits ends and the school did NOT prepare us for ADULT world...........it was more like a DAY CARE........and he was high functioning.........so aggravated with the system................we are trying to find support in some form.......ARC couldn't really answer any of my questions..LIKE NOW WHAT DOES HE DO??geez............waiting for voc. rehab to test him..yea shouldn't that been done in school.....ok u see where i am going.............i want to give him the world..........and make him feel USEFUL..................thanks ahead Tee
I don't know what I8 means- but I have been helping to raise a child with Pervasive Develpomental Disorder for the last five years. I also have a sister who was considered "Perceptionally Impaired" back in the 70s and 80s. She is a self supporting adult now- has an AA degree and has had the same office job for 5 years.
Have you contacted someplace like Easter Seals or ARC to see if they can help him to get some training? There are many organizations that bring in manual work like collating so special needs people can earn a modest living. Is some kind of supervised living available? Often these facilities help residents find jobs too.
I don't know what I8 means- but I have been helping to raise a child with Pervasive Develpomental Disorder for the last five years. I also have a sister who was considered "Perceptionally Impaired" back in the 70s and 80s. She is a self supporting adult now- has an AA degree and has had the same office job for 5 years.
Have you contacted someplace like Easter Seals or ARC to see if they can help him to get some training? There are many organizations that bring in manual work like collating so special needs people can earn a modest living. Is some kind of supervised living available? Often these facilities help residents find jobs too.
I'm sure the original poster means her child is "18" now ... simple typo, that's all. Also, she indicated contact with ARC already.
i have a ds who is l8..and now out of the school system..WHAT DO I DO NOW???????We are in West Va..and our resources are very limited.......i am trying to make the transition from school days to every day life..He is MR he doesn't read well.........physically no problems..sequential steps he gets confused...........and HE does NOT think he is special needs..the world is messed up not him.............so i have a teenager that wants what other kids have........to be able to drive, live on his own, College, girls,,etc.does this sound familiar to anyone............please holler my way.........i am at my wits ends and the school did NOT prepare us for ADULT world...........it was more like a DAY CARE........and he was high functioning.........so aggravated with the system................we are trying to find support in some form.......ARC couldn't really answer any of my questions..LIKE NOW WHAT DOES HE DO??geez............waiting for voc. rehab to test him..yea shouldn't that been done in school.....ok u see where i am going.............i want to give him the world..........and make him feel USEFUL..................thanks ahead Tee
This is a tough situation, as I'm sure you already know. Difficult to advise when one isn't familiar with the locally available resources (which you say, and I believe you, are limited). You folks are a bit behind the curve ball. Preparation for your son's transition into so-called adulthood should have ideally began at least five years ago. He's actually in the same position I'd wager the vast majority of cognitively impaired adults find themselves in — once formal public education has ended, it's difficult to figure out how to care out a niche in the world. Many of these adults are left with little peer social interations after school ends.
You might prefer to bang your head against a brick wall but start by going back to the school and speaking to his guidance counselor, case manager, the special education director, etc. Ask them for direction. Find out what students in similar positions have done before him.
Try connecting with other families in the same situation. I am guessing that the ARC can facilitate contact with others. No sense reinventing the wheel, see how others in your area, in similar positions are managing. It is imperative for your sanity and his, that you find ways to get him connected.
Despite his impairments, have you any idea of his capabilities? Could you assist him in getting hired in maybe a local retail shop, food market, fast food, pet store? Even volunteer work perhaps at your local animal shelter. Help him establish his place in society, his worth in life. He may not be able to work 8-hour days (or maybe he can) but the life schools you've taught him could help him get employed. Can he do tasks that involve repitition? Or something like sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, stock shelves, launder linens, wash dishes? If the only way you can get someone to give him a chance is to stand by his side until he is confident that he can do it himself, then do it.
Has he been declared eligible for social security (I am guessing he has already)? If not, this can be a lot of work, start the process now. Sometimes this is the door to other resources. It will also give him a small bit of financial security and peace of mind for you. And if he already has ss then he is limited in how much he can earn from an outside source anyway, which leads me back to volunteering.
Also, if he has Medicaid, speak to his caseworker. She may have ideas for you. Maybe the Salvation Army too? OK, this is all I can come up with for now.
I apologize- I thought maybe I8 was some kind of state ESE designation or something- there are so many of those and they're so different from one state to the next.
I would also inquire of Easter Seals as well as your local community college- they may have programs that you are not aware of.
Our oldest son is 20 and has Asperger's (in the autism spectrum) and ADHD. He had an IEP and help throughout school (everything from speech therapy, physical therapy, to an aide, to reduced homework, modified grade scale etc.). He was accepted on Katy Beckett Medicaid (and that is Medicaid that goes by the child's disability and not at all with parents income). I would assume your state has something along that line. With Medcaid that opened a whole new door for him. He was able to have a service coordinator, service provider, and was eligible for mostly free medicals (which helped a lot into get evaluations by psychiatrists, medications, speech therapists etc.), and even paid for transportation to and from town since we live in the boonies. His last couple of years of high school he went to school half day and got services the other half of the day (socialization, life skill training etc.). A few months before he turned 18 we applied for SSI and he was accepted the summer after he turned 18. He lived with us that summer and fall awaiting to get to the top of a list for low-income housing. At that same time we put him on the list for HUD low incole housing, which was a 3 yr. wait) Nov. of that year we got a call that he had an apt. We had spent 6 mos. buying and collecting things for his soon-to-be apt. He moved in and has been living on his own for 2 years this Nov. He has services 5 days a week and we often bring him home for the weekend. It can be done but it takes a lot of time and planning as you can see. We were determined that he live on his own or in a group home setting sometime during his 18th year. He wanted to do that and is very happy on his own. We have 2 other sons besides him at home with Asperger's and a daughter. We began "planning" for his ability to try to be on his own around the time he was 16. I cannot tell you how many meetings, how much paperwork, and how many phone calls have been made all those years to get him to this point, but it was all well worth it. We talk to him just about everyday, and see him at least once a week if he does not come home for the weekend. Since your son is already 18 I would ask this:
1. Did he had an IEP in school?
2. Has he been evaluated by professionals as to his diagnosis?
3. Do you have paperwork and school records available to document his condition over the years and now?
If so I would recommend contacting Social Security about getting him on SSI. At least that way he will have Medicaid as well as a monthly income, around $600. I would then look into low income housing if you feel he can live alone, group home if he cannot, getting him a service coordination once he has Medicaid, getting services started on him as well once he has Medicaid. He should also be eligible for some food stamps once he is out on his own, lower cost phone bill, energy assistance to help with his utility bills etc. He would also be elible for HUD low income housing, but that is about a 2-5 yr. wait on their list.
Awesome, informative reply. You and I are on the same track. My boy is 13 and everyday we take steps toward a future where he will hopefully live independently despite having moderate special needs, which include PDD-NOS and multiple mental health dx. I'd panic to awake one day and discover he was 18, with no resources. My daily existence is documentation, meetings, amassing resources and keeping track of it all while dealing with the daily complexities of life with my son.
I think the original poster should exhale, formulate a game plan then forge on.
I wish her and her son much luck and success in securing his future.
thank you all that applied............We are redoing medicaid now since he is age l8...he was turned down twice by the ssi office due to our income..and they never suggested another type of medicaid..i will def. check this out..yes he has all his dx and has been tested regularly in school......i was so disappointed in the lack of school help..i was under the impression MY biggest mistake on moving to WV.........that the school had all the resources..we came early and did all this preparation ahead..........even with EXACT iep packets and everything..i could go on to what should have been done and get more frustrated but that's under the bridge now..Now i am taking action on different roads.........ya'll have gave me some wonderful things i haven't thought about..Easter Seals is not in our area...........I used to work with them in Fla.. a wonderful organization..I am amazed at all the special needs families here..i have yet to find a support system in our area..I am very limited in resources.....GOD i should have KNOWN better..always go with your gut on things.........The school in fla..counselors and such thought this would be a wonderful change for him with smaller classroom and to get out of the big crime and bullies he had............
I will try another school that i hear have great results with special ed..
He is getting a vocational testing done with Voc. Rehab..in Oct..I'm not totally clear on HOW they test..The lady told me they test on same levels as vocational schools........if he has trouble with certain academic programs then u would think they would test him differently than the average.......Also we have a REM program and waiting on the medicaid waiver to be approved..that has a mentoring program even if needed by volunteer......
When we got here we got into a wonderful church and then we pulled away he hated to go to the youth group..he was such a loner..U as a parent can only supply the path he has to walk it.............now he has isolated himself pretty much to himself......part of that is HIS personality..His social skills are really lacking.............some days i just feel overwhelmed.........and can't think straight...........i know i have to have patience........again THANK YOU very much................it has given me strength again to regroup...
My son's dx: PDD-NOS, EOBPD, SPD, RAD, ODD, PTSD, FAE, borderline intellectual functioning. Might be leaving something out but that's enough, right? Sounds like a fun kid, right? He is delightful, at times!
Anyway, he is also seriously lacking in social skills, poor receptive and expressive language thus his communication skills are lacking, he's also impulsive, hyper, etc.
My point is, what you said about your son isolating himself, he sounds depressed. He's going through some extreme changes with this upset in his routine. I'm sure he misses whatever interaction (however limited it may have been) he had with others at school, and now he's wondering about his place in life. You've described him as a loner but he is probably quite lonely too. He needs people in his life and he might even want them but just doesn't have what it takes to acquire and develop relationships.
Just thought I'd throw this out here, is he receiving any talk therapy and perhaps seeing a psychiatrist? I'm not pushing meds on you and your son but maybe medication intervention (an antidepressant) should be considered at this time, if it is not already a part of the regimen.
As parents, yes we supply the path and yet I find with my child with special needs I go a bit further, I walk it with him. I hold his hand. I facilitate his relationships with people, lest he'd be all alone. And if your son is clinically ddepressed, there's no coming out of one's cocoon by sheer will. It really is a sickness, he won't just snap out of it.
I hope something here helps and you take no offense. It's clear to me from your posting that you need respite. You're tired, overwhelmed and frustrated. We're allowed all of those feelings. But once you're restored, jump back on the war path. Your son is counting on you.
no i take no offense............what i meant to by ds was i have given him every opportunity to perform in sports i have been there for him i have led him to make friends any many clubs organizations etc..but I Cannot make them friends he has to be the one to do that..........i would never let ds do anything by himself if i thought it was harmful to him spiritualy or otherwise..He is very independent on his decisions..granted i do believe he stays away from people because it's easier to deal with.......He has had numerous volunteer opportunities with other people young and old and he QUITS.........he says it's too much work.....he'd rather stay in ac and play video games than make an effort to do things..which isn't anything different than alot of the other kids..........thank you for all the input..i never take offense when it's a learning or rethinking process..
Meds no he's not on any now..he used to be and he was a basket case..He has seen several therapists and differ doctors..just an ex..we went to start the medicaid waiver oh he was furious..more testing..granted he's 18 not small......pitched a fit............the lady was very nice and talked calm to him..she asked him some questions about what he liked to do for fun..He jumped out of his chair hands on hips and said directly to her..Lady u got the problem in this world not me..I don't care if i ever work..My mom will take care of me THAT is her job.....I was floored not stunned..he has reminded me that many times.......thankfully the lady continued with the waiver..she was furious with his actions but she understood.......reprimand ds yes i did..explain to him the importance of these meetings yes i did..did he care NO..
I am a nurse in mental health and right now we have soooooooo many young adults in there..and i was also a correctional nurse and omg that place is overflowing with mental health.......and i can't blame it all on the parents...
I will never give up researching and finding answers for ds and not yet will i turn him over to state at any cost..some families have to do that and I sure can understand..........the only school here in this state for special needs learning after high school closed due to lack of funding..granted they were here 53 years..that was one of the reason why we chose this area..had no idea they would shut their doors closed and no other answers for parents..this school taught life skills and job vocational.........now parents are left with NUTHING and these kids didn't even get to finish their vocational program..
Last edited by confusedTee; 08-23-2007 at 02:14 PM..
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He is delightful, at times!
