Excluded from small town life (Springfield, Branson: transplants, home, go bankrupt)

[inkgirl]

I have lived in a small town in southwest Missouri for over 15 years now. I raised my son here, and he graduated from the high school. After all of this time, I am still considered an "outsider." I have talked to many other people who feel exactly the same way. If you aren't born here or aren't someone's first cousin, they will exclude you. I have gone home and cried many times because I did not understand what I had/have done wrong. Finally, I have come to understand that it is not me. This town does not understand the needs of transplants, and they do not make the effort to accept those who want so badly to be part of the town. If you want to live in southwest Missouri, I suggest Branson or a town that is increasing in population. It is growing and there is room to be part of the future of its business, education, and leadership.

[Floorist]

Sadly, some towns are like that. It is not that way here where I live, but when I lived in Buckner, Mo., no one would talk to you if you were not born there.

[miquel_westano]

Originally Posted by inkgirl

I have lived in a small town in southwest Missouri for over 15 years now. I raised my son here, and he graduated from the high school. After all of this time, I am still considered an "outsider." I have talked to many other people who feel exactly the same way. If you aren't born here or aren't someone's first cousin, they will exclude you. I have gone home and cried many times because I did not understand what I had/have done wrong. Finally, I have come to understand that it is not me. This town does not understand the needs of transplants, and they do not make the effort to accept those who want so badly to be part of the town. If you want to live in southwest Missouri, I suggest Branson or a town that is increasing in population. It is growing and there is room to be part of the future of its business, education, and leadership.

There is a reason why small town people are leery of outsiders. While it may not apply in your case, many folks move to small towns and begin to push for changes. I have heard over and over, "well in St Louis they do it this way" even here in Springfield. Now Springfield is big enough and diverse enough that statement doesn't cause much resentment. But years ago I lived in a town of under 1000 and I promise the locals associated new comers with pushes for change. Small town folks stay there because they love their towns and don't want change.


It may not be fair, but most resentment people feel is usually based on fear of the unknown. That goes for small town people and talk of progress too. They associate new blood with new ideas, and fear changes. I hope they eventually welcome you, but moving to a small town can be lonely. Trust me, that is every state, not just Missouri.

[ClubMike]

That is one of the reasons I moved to southwest Missouri. I like it how the locals exclude me. Does not bother me at all. I have lived outside a small town for 10 years and I like it. Nice and boring just how I like my country life.

[Lake Junkie]

Originally Posted by inkgirl

I have lived in a small town in southwest Missouri for over 15 years now. I raised my son here, and he graduated from the high school. After all of this time, I am still considered an "outsider." I have talked to many other people who feel exactly the same way. If you aren't born here or aren't someone's first cousin, they will exclude you. I have gone home and cried many times because I did not understand what I had/have done wrong. Finally, I have come to understand that it is not me. This town does not understand the needs of transplants, and they do not make the effort to accept those who want so badly to be part of the town. If you want to live in southwest Missouri, I suggest Branson or a town that is increasing in population. It is growing and there is room to be part of the future of its business, education, and leadership.

My experience was the same in the first small town I tried in SW MO...I only lasted a year. After wandering around a bit, I found heaven at Table Rock Lake. I agree, this is the best part of the area for transplants. It's such a melting pot that almost everyone is from somewhere else, and generally just want to get along and lead a peaceful life.

I'm so sad it took you so long to figure out it wasn't YOU. Also sad that small towns have become exclusive due to the "way we did it back home" thing which is definitely a problem. I used to joke that they needed a 2-day training center at the Missouri state line for all moving vans. LOL

After I'd been in MO for 10 years I actually had some guy in the grocery store strike up a conversation about how we didn't have enough micro-breweries here, 'why back in San Diego we had like 40'...never realizing that I was a California transplant. I asked him if he liked it so much there why didn't he go back.

Move to Branson! I'll help you...

[songinthewind7]

My husband and I have been in Branson for 2 years. About 95% of the people we know are all from some place else. I find the people to be very friendly. I get what you're saying about small towns as I've lived in quite a few of them and there are some narrow minded people. I can't speak for the towns surrounding Branson but I can speak for Branson.

[RDM66]

Originally Posted by Floorist

Sadly, some towns are like that. It is not that way here where I live, but when I lived in Buckner, Mo., no one would talk to you if you were not born there.

Sadly, many small towns can be like that. My father's family is from a small town in Iowa. I know someone who tried to move there and start over. He had a hard time "fitting in." He once had a neighbor glare at him and make dirty looks because he was mowing his grass on Sunday. The town is very religious and it's an unwritten law there that no one can mow their grass on the Sabbath. The people in town also judge people by what church they attend. The Methodist on the west side of town will not associate with the Methodist on the east side of town. --And God help you if you're a heathen who doesn't attend church at all. You might as well pack up and leave town.

[neohillbilly]

It's not just SW MO. I've seen that in most small towns where I've lived. In SE Idaho, where I lived only a short time, I knew someone who lived there for over 20 years and he was still considered a newcomer, in an area where families have lived for multiple generations.

[Avalon2]

I don't know what their problem is but people that move to small towns will shop and dine at whatever businesses the town has which is revenue for the town, unless you want to see the whole town go bankrupt. Theirs people that retire in small towns because it's quiet and they don't want to live in the city.

[Bluefox]

That’s the Bible Belt for ya. Social lives revolve around church for the most part. I’m guessing you don’t belong to a church there.