I'd like to move back to St. Louis; trouble convincing my husband (Webster Groves: how much, neighborhoods)

[cmk1982]

A belated thank you for all of your feedback! This is all encouraging/thought-provoking. I need to initiate THE discussion with my husband to really get to the root of his hesitance (or lack there of- I may be misinterpreting his signals). It could very well be that he doesn't want to be as involved with my family as I do, although I have a feeling it's primarily due to his job and, as a result, our finances. The known (Omaha) vs. the unknown (St. Louis). But it all has to start with a more solid discussion than anything we've had so far. Ultimately, I have to trust that we will be fine wherever we live, but I'm hoping we can end up on the same page regarding STL.

Anyway, thank you all. I really, really appreciate it.

[aragx6]

^You'll have to keep us updated!

[glamatomic]

Definitely agreed

I would think that the Lou would be a much better place to raise a family than Omaha (no offense I've always found Omaha rather boring). As long as your husband can find a job in St. Louis relative to the one he already has in Nebraska it will definitely be a positive move! Good luck convincing him!

[DinsdalePirahna]

If your husband has visited the area and does not like it, don't push the issue....

[aragx6]

Originally Posted by DinsdalePirahna

If your husband has visited the area and does not like it, don't push the issue....

I get what you're saying but we're not talking about California vs. Missouri here, which offer exceedingly different lifestyles. It's Omaha. It would be hard to imagine anyone objectively preferring Omaha to St. Louis.

[marigolds6]

As far as travel goes... you also get to take the Avenue of the Saints up to Minneapolis. My in-laws live just a block off the Avenue of the Saints in Iowa, and it is a pretty nice drive.
(And if you don't want to drive, Southwest offers STL-MSP for $140 round trip, compared to $400 for OMA-MSP.)

[mike0421]

I think Dinsdale’s point here is a valid one, and I get what he is saying. I think this perspective comes from being around the block a few times, and having an idea of the reality of relationships and the fact you have to live with this person you committed to. The OP has a young child, and like it or not, at this stage, the majority of the time spent with the SO will be around the house. The home is the tangible center of the relationship. I think when we are younger (and I certainly made this mistake) we tend to put too much emphasis on geography as a factor. The idea of city ‘a’ being different from city ‘b’ is really overemphasized in my view, and I think often it is used, unintentionally, I might add, to mask a greater deficiency within the relationship. Let’s face it: the majority of our lives are spent in the workplace, at the house, conscious or unconscious. Very, very little time, again, especially considering the station of life the OP is in, will be spent enjoying the architectural and cultural differences of Omaha vs. St. Louis. Or, if these places are too similar, then Houlton Maine vs. San Ysidro California, or Harlingen Texas vs. Minot North Dakota might be more dissimilar comparisons.

The real emphasis in my view should be placed in sustaining harmonious relationships within the household. If geography and place, in and of itself, is mentioned too prominently in the argument, I think it’s a superficial front to cover up much bigger problems.

Ultimately, everyone goes to work, eats at the kitchen table, and socializes in the living room. That time spent is where the real brick and mortar of the relationship stands the test of time.

[Looking4Chng]

I'm in the same boat as you are, for the most part. But I have never been able to convince my husband to move to St. Louis, even though I love St. Louis and miss it. My husband has good reason in that he has a strong network here, and in his line of work, that's important since lay-off is not uncommon. (He's an engineer.)

What I can tell you for sure is that the longer you wait to convince him to move, the harder it will be to do so.

Maybe you could convince him to take an excessive number of trips to St. Louis. Then, maybe, he'll see that you really are serious about wanting to be there.

[clementine.jones]

-- St. Louis has some really unique places. You probably won't find anything like the Missouri Botanical Gardens or the City Museum anywhere else. If you haven't yet, go see the lantern festival at night. It's great.

-- There's probably more upward mobility career-wise.

-- Family nearby is HUGE.

-- People are generally friendly in St. Louis, just like they are in Omaha!

-- Southwest flies to Omaha several times a day and the flight is about an hour. SW has its own terminal at the airport, so it's easy to get in and out.

-- Show him around Chesterfield, it's a lot like the Omaha suburbs.

-- More little municipalities mean that there are areas with nicer/better parks and amenities. Some of aquatic centers in St. Louis are amazing, with lazy rivers and multiple slides and zero-depth entry pools.

-- The St. Louis County Park system is excellent. What other county in the country has a free drive-through wild animal park with a massive bird sanctuary? Or a park with both a butterfly house AND an antique carousel? Or a farm-style park where your kids can pet farm animals (again for free) and you can help yourself to free manure for gardening?

-- Omaha's only abut 7 hours away from Chesterfield/St. Charles.

-- WINERIES nearby. Go stay as a couple at the Hermann Hill Vineyard and Inn. It's so romantic! THEN go have "the" talk.

[BubbyBobble]

Eh, I wouldn't move here if he doesn't. Although there are ways you can convience him. It' requires some kinky stuff though. I kid, I kid!

But I'm not really clear as to why exactly he dislikes St. Louis?