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Well, I failed to get my teaching job this year and had to come back as a TA, and so did she. There are 8 of us on a team and 7 of us work very well together and we all, except for her, know that we're there for the kids. She started in the fall of '09 and was 23 years old, but you'd have thought she was our new boss from the way she acted. She's abrasive, she lies, spreads rumors, kisses up, is bossy, and sets other people up to fail and then makes sure that the boss will find out. We work in a high school sped setting and she's certified elementary ed with no sped certification, so I'm not even sure why she's going to all this trouble--it's not like she's qualified to teach here but her family is friends with our boss's family so that's part of it. And I mean, we're TA's--not corporate execs vying for the top CEO position.
Anyway, today she hit a new low. I heard her come up behind me as I was walking into the school and she was so close that she was almost nipping at my heels so I sped up and so did she. I slowed down and so did she--she was trying to creep me out and that was just so crazy I couldn't believe it. She's working with emotionally disturbed kids for heaven's sake.
No wait, that wasn't her lowest moment. That was last year when we had a handicapped student who needed to be taken to the br to be changed twice a day and it wasn't fun, but that's what we do. The girl had a lot of emotional problems and esp an anger management problem but she got along well with us and esp the other TA--that lady had a special rapport with her and could get her laughing even if she came over to us in a sulky mood. Enter "Jezebel", and she got the girl all worked up every day and she had her believing that we were working against her and that only she, Jezebel, was on her side and would help her. The girl became so angry that she almost ran the good TA over with her wheelchair and then she became so violently out of control that she tried to run some other people over and got kicked out of school for over a year. This unfolded over several weeks and I knew what was going on but was powerless to do anything about it b/c when I went to the lead teacher she didn't believe me and thought I was giving Jezebel too much credit. Ha! And I couldn't go to the boss b/c of their friendship and honestly the whole thing sounds nuts, but that's how these sociopaths work--they make the good people look crazy.
I guess I'm writing this to blow off some steam, but also need advice on how to deal with someone like this. I think I just don't have an evil enough mind and I'm afraid that something I'd try would backfire, and really, I am there for the kids. Still, her lies could cost me my job, or at least ruin future career ops. Any suggestions? And it makes me sick to think that she'll probably be teaching elementary ed some day to impressionable young minds.
Sorry, you are working with a psycho like that. All I can tell you, is watch your back, take care of yourself, if she lies about you, immediately confront her lies in front of the supervisor, and make her prove her stories. Don't just brush it off, because she will make you look incompetent, to make herself look better, so don't even let her start that stuff...I have worked with people like this, you can't win, they are completely ruthless, and have no conscience. Don't worry about other kids, just worry about yourself, and your career. If you think she could destroy you, look for another job, at another school. I have worked with people like this, they can make your life so miserable, it is doing yourself a favor to get away.
Sorry, you are working with a psycho like that. All I can tell you, is watch your back, take care of yourself, if she lies about you, immediately confront her lies in front of the supervisor, and make her prove her stories. Don't just brush it off, because she will make you look incompetent, to make herself look better, so don't even let her start that stuff...I have worked with people like this, you can't win, they are completely ruthless, and have no conscience. Don't worry about other kids, just worry about yourself, and your career. If you think she could destroy you, look for another job, at another school. I have worked with people like this, they can make your life so miserable, it is doing yourself a favor to get away.
You're right about that--I know she lies about me, but she never does it so that I can catch her in it. One of the teachers has confirmed to me that she's making me out to be incompetent, but won't tell me what she said, probably for fear of hurting my feelings. I'm afraid to pursue it for fear of making myself look bad rather than her and I'm the type to just quietly do my job and I know I have the respect of the other TA's and most of the teachers. Also, I know this woman is driving our lead teacher crazy so she might hang herself. I hate the idea of going elsewhere b/c I love where I'm at except for her and what if there're more creeps there? Though I must say, I've never met anyone quite this evil.
You're right about that--I know she lies about me, but she never does it so that I can catch her in it. One of the teachers has confirmed to me that she's making me out to be incompetent, but won't tell me what she said, probably for fear of hurting my feelings. I'm afraid to pursue it for fear of making myself look bad rather than her and I'm the type to just quietly do my job and I know I have the respect of the other TA's and most of the teachers. Also, I know this woman is driving our lead teacher crazy so she might hang herself. I hate the idea of going elsewhere b/c I love where I'm at except for her and what if there're more creeps there? Though I must say, I've never met anyone quite this evil.
Ususally don't post up here, scrolling through the forums I noticed the thread title. Who hasn't met one of them. Stepka... I don't know what religion you are but, this prayer to St. Michael may help. Perhaps she'll go away and leave you alone. Good Luck...virgo
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host - by the Divine Power of God - cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits, who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Well, I failed to get my teaching job this year and had to come back as a TA, and so did she. There are 8 of us on a team and 7 of us work very well together and we all, except for her, know that we're there for the kids. She started in the fall of '09 and was 23 years old, but you'd have thought she was our new boss from the way she acted. She's abrasive, she lies, spreads rumors, kisses up, is bossy, and sets other people up to fail and then makes sure that the boss will find out. We work in a high school sped setting and she's certified elementary ed with no sped certification, so I'm not even sure why she's going to all this trouble--it's not like she's qualified to teach here but her family is friends with our boss's family so that's part of it. And I mean, we're TA's--not corporate execs vying for the top CEO position.
Anyway, today she hit a new low. I heard her come up behind me as I was walking into the school and she was so close that she was almost nipping at my heels so I sped up and so did she. I slowed down and so did she--she was trying to creep me out and that was just so crazy I couldn't believe it. She's working with emotionally disturbed kids for heaven's sake.
No wait, that wasn't her lowest moment. That was last year when we had a handicapped student who needed to be taken to the br to be changed twice a day and it wasn't fun, but that's what we do. The girl had a lot of emotional problems and esp an anger management problem but she got along well with us and esp the other TA--that lady had a special rapport with her and could get her laughing even if she came over to us in a sulky mood. Enter "Jezebel", and she got the girl all worked up every day and she had her believing that we were working against her and that only she, Jezebel, was on her side and would help her. The girl became so angry that she almost ran the good TA over with her wheelchair and then she became so violently out of control that she tried to run some other people over and got kicked out of school for over a year. This unfolded over several weeks and I knew what was going on but was powerless to do anything about it b/c when I went to the lead teacher she didn't believe me and thought I was giving Jezebel too much credit. Ha! And I couldn't go to the boss b/c of their friendship and honestly the whole thing sounds nuts, but that's how these sociopaths work--they make the good people look crazy.
I guess I'm writing this to blow off some steam, but also need advice on how to deal with someone like this. I think I just don't have an evil enough mind and I'm afraid that something I'd try would backfire, and really, I am there for the kids. Still, her lies could cost me my job, or at least ruin future career ops. Any suggestions? And it makes me sick to think that she'll probably be teaching elementary ed some day to impressionable young minds.
I would log everything she does with dates and times. For some reason, when a complaint is presented in what is considered a "professional manner", it holds more weight. The problem is that you want it witnessed by at least one other person. Maybe a camera on your cellphone could help with evidence as well. One filmed episode would support the credibility of any other witnessed event. Good luck! She's a disturbed person. Think "character disorder" here.
I'll second just watching your back. Don't cross her. Don't take her on. Ignore what she does. They do what they do for the attention. Take away the carrot.
And look for another job. My experience is they always win. It takes a long time for management to figure out they're really wolves in sheeps clothing. They're good at their lies and they're good at covering their tracks. An honest, hard working person who cares doesn't stand a chance against them. It's a sad fact of life.
I was fortunate that the only time I ever ran up against one with his sights on me, he was a he and one manager overheard him go off on me one day and took it as sexual harrassment. I knew it wasn't but I also knew that was my only out so I took it. I'm not proud of that but you fight fire with fire. I'm certain this guy would have treated a man in my position the same way unless he saw that man as someone he'd need later. He knew I'd refused the management track so I was no threat.
You're right about that--I know she lies about me, but she never does it so that I can catch her in it. One of the teachers has confirmed to me that she's making me out to be incompetent, but won't tell me what she said, probably for fear of hurting my feelings. I'm afraid to pursue it for fear of making myself look bad rather than her and I'm the type to just quietly do my job and I know I have the respect of the other TA's and most of the teachers. Also, I know this woman is driving our lead teacher crazy so she might hang herself. I hate the idea of going elsewhere b/c I love where I'm at except for her and what if there're more creeps there? Though I must say, I've never met anyone quite this evil.
I wanted to add from my original post here. You may be incorrect about why she wouldn't reveal what was said and it could have nothing to do with hurting your feelings although, it could be part of the reason.
Once she reveals what was said, shes then involved herself and could have consequenses for her too. Its a fine line and you may never know.
I know someone who was involved in such a case at a private school. They lost their job when it was brought to administratives attention and hired an attorney. Any one who knew anything....well...wont say they were told their job was on the line, but he felt it could be, and questioned by a team of attorneys hired by the school, who were ready to twist their words or insinuate they had something to gain or biased due to association. It was finally settled out of court.
btw...the sociopath is still there, weaving their web.
Nip the lies in the bud. Those will damage your reputation. Make sure you do your work, and more. Don't do anything though to help her out. Help out others though. Especially the teachers.
I work with someone like this. You need to work twice as hard to stay on top of them, so that when they lie about you, it has no credibility. It is hard to be ince to someone this crazy, but maintain professionalism, don't let her win and make you look like the problem, because that is what they love to do...They love to push every button, and get under your skin, to unsettle you, and break you, they want you to go crazy, and then they act like they have no clue why you act the way you do towards them. Beat her. Don't let her win. But you need to be strong to do this. It takes immense effort, and psychological strength to deal with a sociopath at work who has targeted you.
Keep away from this person as much as you can, document everything, always be professional, and if it is the right time/place for you to do it, look for another job.
It sounds like running away, I know, but these people have the...ability...to mesmerize people. I had a similar situation when I was an undergrad intern, with another intern at the place I worked (a small county gov't office, not in the field of education). I had been interning there a few months, got along fine with everybody...then SHE came along. Suddenly if something went wrong it was my fault, people I had formerly gotten along with were hostile and when I stood up for myself and proved that some mistakes had been hers, not mine, it fell on deaf ears.
After almost a year of this the boss called me into the office and told me my internship was over, I had fulfilled my requirements and thanks for helping us out. When I asked him if this had anything to do with the psycho girl he did the most wonderfully evasive verbal tap dance while letting me know that HE knew this wasn't my fault, but he had to "keep the peace."
A month later I heard through the grapevine that psycho girl was hired as a full-time employee. A couple months after that I graduated and found a much better job, so things turned out OK. But a year later I got an email from a friend with a link to an article detailing how the small county gov't office I worked in had imploded--it detailed firings, internal strife, accusations and counterclaims--and finally the county had cleaned house and sacked almost everybody, including her (so there was some small measure of justice). Not long after that I ran into someone I used to work with and she told me, "You were right. After she pushed you out, she came after me." She told me a lot more, too long for an already long post, but I guess I was just the smallest fish in the pond. Still, after all those years, I can feel myself getting anxious as I type this.
People like this make working conditions intolerable. Take this as a sign that it's time for you to move on to bigger and better things. I'm sorry it happened to you.
The advice to log everything is good, but I can't actually prove anything on this woman--she's good at covering her tracks. As for the nipping at my heels incident--who's going to believe that one and she made sure no one else noticed her doing it--it's called "gaslighting" I believe and designed to make the victim look nuts--it takes a truly sick mind to dream stuff like that up.
I really do think you guys are right who are telling me to get a new job--too bad too b/c I love all my other co-workers, though predictably, the teachers are becoming less friendly as this woman has made herself indispensable. I warned the one I talked to that if she's doing it to us (the other TA's) she will do it to them when she feels safe to do so. The teacher, who is my friend, said very little, which I find hurtful, but as Virgode suggested, she may be afraid for her job, and come to think of it, she has been under some attack as well and it may be from Jezebel.
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Good Luck...virgo
