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I know this may sound a little petty, but it is really bothering me.
I help out a LOT at my kid's schools. The teachers always seem to be thanking me, I get thank you cards, etc. The problem I'm having is with the newsletters and a couple conversations I recently had with some other parents on the school's big fundraising night, plus a recent giftcard.
Every week, the newsletter thanks the parents who have volunteered, by name, in the top corner. I help out every week, some big jobs, some not so big, but I'm there at least twice a week, plus I take stuff home. My name has never been in the newsletter. I am the room mother for both classrooms too. I volunteer separately for the school library and the PTO.
Last week, at the big school fundraiser, I met a couple moms who were gushing about another mom who they said had put everything together for the class basket and had even made 8000 copies that week (average is 2000/wk). Before I could respond, the woman walked up to us and was given praise, accepted it modestly, saying that she didn't do it for the credit, it was part of her job as the room mother, yada, yada, yada- The thing is - she didn't do it. I did. I was a bit stunned and wasn't sure how to respond without sounding childish in the moment - it was all real quick- than a minute before I was called away and asked to help with something else.
I wrote the request letter, I decorated the collection boxes, I spent the extra money putting it together when the donations fell short (the woman being thanked didn't send in anything at all)... I coordinated it and then dropped off the box at the appointed time. I donated extra items to the silent auction that I had handmade and I volunteered to work a couple hours at the carnival. The teachers know I did it - I had daily contact with them during the planning stages.
As to the 8000 copies- the teachers in each grade level hand a copy mom the baskets with notes and then different moms are suppose to come in and "relieve" that mom in shifts. No one relieved me, so I just did them all. Again. I knew it was an unusual amount, but I enjoy using their state-of-the-art copier, so I just stayed until the work was done. Another mom was thanked BY NAME in the newsletter and given a gift card for "all she has done in these first 9 weeks" - which is how the other moms "knew" who to thank. (I hadn't read the newsletter yet as I was busy volunteering at the carnival!)
In my other child's class, the newsletter always thanks a different woman too - her first name and mine are one letter off. I haven't done as much for that child's teacher, but I still spend at least 4 hours a week doing something for her - and same situation with the basket - wrong mom thanked in the newsletter... and that mom hadn't donated either!
So, here's my dilemma...
Even though I know it sounds petty, it is discouraging. These teachers call & email me almost daily. I am always the first to respond when they make a request and to step up when another volunteer fails to show up, they call me and I'm there in minutes. But the last two weeks were A LOT of work. Knowing that another mom was not only thanked, but rewarded for all that work really is under my skin.
Do I say something to the teachers? Suggest they call the other woman when they call? Or just stop being so available? No matter which way I turn, I end up looking petty, I know.
My dh suggests that the teachers don't realize that they're doing this and have my name and the other woman's name mixed up - I can't imagine this as my email address has my last name as part of it, and my nametag does too. My kids and I share the same last name too.
He thinks I should say something. I think it would save me 20-30 hours of work a week to stop responding.
As a teacher... what would you want one of your student's parents to do?
I know this may sound a little petty, but it is really bothering me.
I help out a LOT at my kid's schools. The teachers always seem to be thanking me, I get thank you cards, etc. The problem I'm having is with the newsletters and a couple conversations I recently had with some other parents on the school's big fundraising night, plus a recent giftcard.
Every week, the newsletter thanks the parents who have volunteered, by name, in the top corner. I help out every week, some big jobs, some not so big, but I'm there at least twice a week, plus I take stuff home. My name has never been in the newsletter. I am the room mother for both classrooms too. I volunteer separately for the school library and the PTO.
Last week, at the big school fundraiser, I met a couple moms who were gushing about another mom who they said had put everything together for the class basket and had even made 8000 copies that week (average is 2000/wk). Before I could respond, the woman walked up to us and was given praise, accepted it modestly, saying that she didn't do it for the credit, it was part of her job as the room mother, yada, yada, yada- The thing is - she didn't do it. I did. I was a bit stunned and wasn't sure how to respond without sounding childish in the moment - it was all real quick- than a minute before I was called away and asked to help with something else.
I wrote the request letter, I decorated the collection boxes, I spent the extra money putting it together when the donations fell short (the woman being thanked didn't send in anything at all)... I coordinated it and then dropped off the box at the appointed time. I donated extra items to the silent auction that I had handmade and I volunteered to work a couple hours at the carnival. The teachers know I did it - I had daily contact with them during the planning stages.
As to the 8000 copies- the teachers in each grade level hand a copy mom the baskets with notes and then different moms are suppose to come in and "relieve" that mom in shifts. No one relieved me, so I just did them all. Again. I knew it was an unusual amount, but I enjoy using their state-of-the-art copier, so I just stayed until the work was done. Another mom was thanked BY NAME in the newsletter and given a gift card for "all she has done in these first 9 weeks" - which is how the other moms "knew" who to thank. (I hadn't read the newsletter yet as I was busy volunteering at the carnival!)
In my other child's class, the newsletter always thanks a different woman too - her first name and mine are one letter off. I haven't done as much for that child's teacher, but I still spend at least 4 hours a week doing something for her - and same situation with the basket - wrong mom thanked in the newsletter... and that mom hadn't donated either!
So, here's my dilemma...
Even though I know it sounds petty, it is discouraging. These teachers call & email me almost daily. I am always the first to respond when they make a request and to step up when another volunteer fails to show up, they call me and I'm there in minutes. But the last two weeks were A LOT of work. Knowing that another mom was not only thanked, but rewarded for all that work really is under my skin.
Do I say something to the teachers? Suggest they call the other woman when they call? Or just stop being so available? No matter which way I turn, I end up looking petty, I know.
My dh suggests that the teachers don't realize that they're doing this and have my name and the other woman's name mixed up - I can't imagine this as my email address has my last name as part of it, and my nametag does too. My kids and I share the same last name too.
He thinks I should say something. I think it would save me 20-30 hours of work a week to stop responding.
As a teacher... what would you want one of your student's parents to do?
I'd want you to assume I have made an honest mistake.
Honest mistake, okay. Seems kind of odd to make that type of mistake for 9 weeks in a row, but it could happen.
I suppose I should say - I am not willing to continue in this vein. If the other mother had not accepted the credit, the gift card and/or made the comments, I might think this was funny. But she did, and so I don't. So, I'm looking for advice on how a teacher might want to be approached.
It strikes me that people don't like to be corrected and that being told that she not only has thanked this woman for 9 weeks in a row erroneously, but that she has now given her the $50 volunteer "thank you" gift card for the quarter, may make her feel foolish(the card was mailed home) as well as making me look petty. (I didn't know why I wasn't being thanked until I realized that the other woman and I have the same first name)
Before you do anything I suggest you find out how the system works regarding volunteers and keeping track of names/hours/tasks. For instance in our district the PTA keeps track of all that, not the teachers. We have a system for volunteers to log in the hours they work and generally what tasks they've done. So it comes directly from the volunteers themselves and if they don't report it, they don't get credit for it.
Once you find the right person to ask, inquire about your volunteer hours and if they are being logged correctly. Approach it from the route that you want to make sure they are getting accurate accounts of your time spent so that the correct classes get the proper acknowledgment since you see many other people's names listed but not yours. You put the emphasis on the school and class getting the credit/acknowledgment instead of yourself. You'll open the communication to discover in a nice way whether or not what's happened is an honest mistake or not.
My hours are logged in by computer, as I walk in the door, but they do not keep track of what I do, just that I am there to volunteer. There will be a luncheon I believe at the end of the year to honor those of us in the system - if I'm not on THAT, I won't be back next year... but I'm positive that's not going to be an issue.
I think this is strictly human error, assumptions, and one woman's GALL. It happens more often than not that I'll be scheduled for a couple hours on a Thursday, but I'll get called and asked to switch with another volunteer who will then not show up and they call and ask me to get there right away and I end up doing both shifts. If this were some random person making the calls, I'd understand (this happened with the book fair this week - I didn't even know about the thank you lunch until after the fact because I was called in to cover 4 separate shifts, but never signed up for one of my own - an understandable oversight), but the folks keeping "track" of the grade level newsletter are my children's teachers - the women calling/emailing me!
I'm referring, btw, to the grade level newsletter not the school or ISD newsletter. This one is typed up on a rotating schedule by the teachers. With that in mind, you would think that every 4th or 5th week, one of MY kid's teachers would notice my name is missing. But oh well.
Didn't bother me until that Carnival. I think I will pull aside one of the teachers and talk to her. I'll practice first. My dh keeps telling me it's not petty, but I keep remembering the TONE of that woman! My son's P/T conference is Monday morning - I'll probably bring it up then.
I would contact whoever is writing the newsletter and explain the situation to them. This may sound silly, but I have been known to confuse people if they have a similar name or maybe I meet them both at the same time. I would be irked too. Cross posted with you sskkc, Boy, your teachers really are clueless. I would have a talk with both of them.
My hours are logged in by computer, as I walk in the door, but they do not keep track of what I do, just that I am there to volunteer. There will be a luncheon I believe at the end of the year to honor those of us in the system - if I'm not on THAT, I won't be back next year... but I'm positive that's not going to be an issue.
I think this is strictly human error, assumptions, and one woman's GALL. It happens more often than not that I'll be scheduled for a couple hours on a Thursday, but I'll get called and asked to switch with another volunteer who will then not show up and they call and ask me to get there right away and I end up doing both shifts. If this were some random person making the calls, I'd understand (this happened with the book fair this week - I didn't even know about the thank you lunch until after the fact because I was called in to cover 4 separate shifts, but never signed up for one of my own - an understandable oversight), but the folks keeping "track" of the grade level newsletter are my children's teachers - the women calling/emailing me!
I'm referring, btw, to the grade level newsletter not the school or ISD newsletter. This one is typed up on a rotating schedule by the teachers. With that in mind, you would think that every 4th or 5th week, one of MY kid's teachers would notice my name is missing. But oh well.
Didn't bother me until that Carnival. I think I will pull aside one of the teachers and talk to her. I'll practice first. My dh keeps telling me it's not petty, but I keep remembering the TONE of that woman! My son's P/T conference is Monday morning - I'll probably bring it up then.
While our system has a computer log in that everyone must do in order to even be in the building, it does not log volunteer hours, only that you were in the building.
However, if the teachers are putting other people in the newsletter, maybe you can approach it with, wow they must really put in tons of hours because I've not had my name there and I am here XX hours!....with an innocent sounding laugh.
Personally I don't even log in my hours anymore because it had became a 'contest' to have the most by a certain few. I have had kids in school for 22 years straight now and the main volunteering I do these days are things that directly affect my own child's class. I rarely do anything that is for the school in general anymore, although I will be participating in the Middle School's career day in a few weeks. That could be quite interesting....haha
Don't sweat it too much, ask a few pointed questions then just go with the flow. Less stress that way in my experience.
However, if the teachers are putting other people in the newsletter, maybe you can approach it with, wow they must really put in tons of hours because I've not had my name there and I am here XX hours!....with an innocent sounding laugh.
That is a terrific suggestion! I like that best. I may throw something in like, "Is SoandSo's mother okay? I ran into her at the carnival and she said some odd things... I thought I'd ask you because I noticed that she's in the volunteer newsletter a lot and I figured you must know her pretty well by now" ...and see where that leads. That's just my mean streak talking though!
To walk through this school unsupervised, you must have passed the background check and you get a nametag with your photo and full name on it. This is a bit of a joke too as my name has been mangled.... everytime they try to fix it, it gets worse. It's a common last name too...almost as common as Smith or Jones. So, the front desk staff knows me pretty well too. When you walk in, your nametag is printed with your destination on it and the word "Volunteer", unless you're there to have lunch with your child - and then you're walked down to the cafeteria. My dh & I went through the background checks so that we wouldn't have to bother with that stuff, and to make our kid's teacher's lives easier.
I don't usually worry about the "logged" hours - it's about helping my kid's teachers. At their old school, I noticed that the librarian was overworked and so I started helping her out. Naturally, when the kids switched schools, I went straight to the library and offered my services there too. I get along VERY well with librarians and enjoy my time with them.
I do things with/for the PTO, but I never join it. I've heard bad things about every PTO at every school we've been to. But when it's something for the classroom (such as the class basket), I sign up to help. At this school they were very short handed, so I ended up making the signs for the carnival, manning the money box, making some copies, helping to set up and running here and there, showing up for general cutting stuff, donating to the bake sale and silent auction, etc... I don't do meetings (other than "work" meetings) and I stay away from PTO politics... my time as a GS Leader adds more than enough drama to my life!
As an elementary school teacher, I have no idea. It is far outside my experience to have a room mother, copy mom (never even heard of that), or any of the complicated system you describe. I'll have parents bring cupcakes for their kids' birthdays, a parent accompanied us on a walking field trip last month, a mom brought us some tissue boxes.
As a regular old person, I'd say you probably should just bring it up at the conference, as you're planning.
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