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Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm in Maury City, Tennessee. I really should look at the colleges websites closer, but I honestly am not even entirely sure of what I'm supposed to be looking for on the websites, but from what you've told me, I should really consider UTK.
Well...you're certainly from a small, small town. To put it into perspective, several of the dorms at UT have more residents than your town...and the university itself has about twice as many students as Crockett County has residents.
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Originally Posted by Glace
The main reason I wanted to go to a big city is the possible misconception that if I go to a big city like Memphis or Nashville, there will be a greater variety of things to do, places to go and people to meet, and the fear that if I go to a small college town, not only will there be less to do, but there will be a lesser number and a lesser variety of people, as in, most people will be residents, and most college students will be former high school students who come from the schools nearby, and then it will lead to feelings and treatment of being left out and not belonging. Kind of like now. Still, that's just silly. The same can easily be true about colleges in Nashville and Memphis, and those feelings are gonna occur anyways, unless I don't let them and actually try to make friends and such.
It depends on the town and the college. Generally speaking, Memphis and Nashville are going to have more to do than any other city in the state simply due to size. But it depends on what you want to do. Knoxville is a good size. I rarely ran out of things to do...and if I did, I hopped in the car and drove through the mountains and went hiking.
As for smaller towns...you might actually find them more appealing, who knows?
I'm from Nashville, and I went to a decent sized high school (enrollment around 1,000)...but moving to a school with 28,000 total students was an eye-opener. I probably knew 300 or so people from Nashville at UT, but I quickly found myself making friends with new people. And I'm not exactly the most social guy out there. If you're just willing to put yourself in situations to meet people (basically, attend social events, talk with classmates, even just hang out where there are other people -- do NOT stay stuck in your dorm room) you should find making friends to be relatively easy.
But I think this is true at some of the smaller schools, too. University atmospheres can be a bit different than the towns they inhabit. It can be its own little world. It might be a better size for you...who knows? For that reason, I wouldn't count out a place like Tennessee Tech in Cookeville.
I don't know your family situation, but if it is at all possible, you need to go to Knoxville, spend the night, visit in the morning while the school is in session (so you can witness the craziness first hand), then drive to Cookeville in the early afternoon, visit Tennessee Tech, and then drive home for the night.
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Originally Posted by Glace
my parents are kind of concerned about me going to Nashville because it's far away, but even they said that what I want matters much more, and it's a pretty safe bet that they're gonna worry either way because...well, they're parents. Still, I don't want to get TOO far away from my parents, but if I go to school in Jackson or Dyersburg, I'd might as well continue living with my parents, and while I don't mean for this to sound like I don't want to be around them anymore, I really want to leave home, get out on my own, see a new surrounding and meet new people, all while getting a good education. I haven't really gotten to do much and talk to many people after getting into homeschooling, so I kind of get this feeling like I don't want to put off having a social life outside of good and bad family any longer than I have to. That being said, I think this is one of the worst times to base a decision even partially off of lack of patience and a desire to have friends, which is kind of the reason why I'm looking for more serious pros in moving to one of these 3 cities for college to make sure it's truly worth it.
It's really up to you. I think you're right that your parents will worry about you just about anywhere you go.
I love my parents, but I couldn't deal with being close to them during college. I needed the freedom. And it helped. I knew some people that lived closer to town and visited family multiple times per week. I couldn't do that.
And without the parental influence, and a couple of eye-opening semesters my freshman year, I learned that I had to be responsible for myself...so it ended up being a good thing.
What is too far away is a personal thing. I probably wouldn't have ruled out anywhere, but I felt comfortable as long as I could reasonably drive home if needed (within about 8 hours). I didn't really want to have to fly back home. For you, it may be an hour or hour and a half. I do find it a little funny that your parents consider Nashville to be so far away...it couldn't be more than 2-2.5 hours from where you are. That's not even a day trip.
Knoxville should be something like 5-5.5 hours.
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Originally Posted by Glace
Also, it's not like I don't have a few friends, it's just that without public school, combined with not being out on my own and not being able to drive yet, as well as being busy preparing for college and being on my own, I don't really get to hang out with the few friends I have, and from what I often hear and from what I see with some people, some people don't really get to have much of a social life as adults outside of talking to the people at their workplace and people at clubs and bars. Though if you have time to go to clubs and bars, you possibly can also spend that time going to some other place besides clubs and bars to socialize. While I'm sure I'll meet some cool people in various places, including college, I'm not sure if most college students and their partying are actually gonna be my kind of crowd anyways.
Just curious...is not being able to drive due to lack of car or lack of license? That could make a difference on where you pick. You can usually hitch rides with friends/roommates at school...but that can get old after a while. Some others might be able to shed some light on their experiences at other schools...but at UT, you could get most of what you needed by walking, biking, or taking the campus bus. This includes The Strip (bar and restaurant area next to campus) and downtown (bars, restaurants, movie theater, concerts). You didn't have to have a car to have fun, but it certainly made things easier.
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Originally Posted by Glace
As it turns out, Memphis and Nashville might not be the two places for me to go, I'm not sure if Jackson and Dyersburg will have all the things I want and/or need, and while Knoxville looks and sounds great, it's still pretty far away from most of my family, whom could help me if I ever get in a bad spot. On the other hand, part of being an adult IS to be independent and not having to rely on my parents to bail me out of trouble. I will try not to be gullible, try to work hard, pay close attention, and continue to learn.
It's a tough decision...and that's why I suggest that you see these campuses in person, rather than just read about them on the internet. If it's urgent or an emergency, I am sure your family will even drive across the state for you. But you're right about independence.
Speaking of bailouts...I never got arrested, but I did get cited a couple of times for underage consumption (alcohol...surprise). Never told my parents about it. Just went to court and paid the fines. I had to weigh the idea of having to shell out my own money and live rather frugally for a month or so, or ask my parents for extra money and end up telling them something that would probably make them worry unnecessarily. I chose the former.
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Originally Posted by Glace
To be honest, I AM kind of interested in east Tennessee. It sounds and looks more beautiful than west Tennessee. I really should try and get mom and dad to take me to see Knoxville and Nashville. Memphis is no problem, but Knoxville and Nashville are something my parents consider to be more like vacation trips or special trips, and they tend to have a hard time doing those. Part of teh reason we haven't gone anywhere so far is the fact that the weather has been bad around here lately, and we've been sick lately.
Well it's sunny today...lol.
Again...I don't know your family situation, but it would likely require one of your parents to take the day off.
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Originally Posted by Glace
I still have some things to research about Knoxville and UTK. I don't know if I've said it already, but I am taking a dual enrollment program and an RODP course. So far I've completed Art and English Comp I, and I'm currently working on English Comp II. Do those count for part of the first year?
I'm not sure if those courses count (things change CONSTANTLY -- and be careful...one college might accept it, another might not).
In any case, yes, you do have a bit of research to do. It might not be a bad idea to take brentwoodgirl's advice and look at a community college. The pro's would be that it is less expensive, and you won't be losing any actual time on earning your degree. The main con I can think of is that you might miss out on a lot of the bonding/friendship that typically happens freshman year in the dorms. That's part of the college experience, and not one I would skip if I had to do it over.
Another option would be to take a year or two off and work until you have a better idea of what you want to do. I don't know the job situation where you are...but that might or might not work out. Plus, with your interests, there would probably be more 'real world' opportunities in the cities you mentioned -- Nashville and Memphis -- than in the towns.
It's a tough call, and you have a lot to think about. But visiting the campuses might help you make your decision.
Glace- One more thought to consider. You could start at UT Martin and then transfer to UTK after 2 years to finish in the engineering program there. Martin is a small town, but there are 6,000 at the college, so there will be tons of activities through the college.
College is so different from high school. There are tons of places to find where you fit in best. You could live on campus and still be close to your parents. You wouldn't need a car. And all of you credits would count because you would be staying in the same University system.
I don't have a driver's license yet. I plan on getting one before leaving if I can, but I'd rather live some place where I can get to most of the places I need to go to by foot. I could use the exercise, and it might be a good way to see more of the town, as well as maybe run into someone on the sidewalks...not that I'm expecting to just constantly run into nice people on the sidewalks. I always wanted to be able to just walk about some day.
Lol, and by "bailout", I didn't really mean get bailed out of jail, but you never know. I also would much rather not take a year off, even though I'm not even sure about what I want to focus on career-wise and don't really have much faith in my math abilities, which is why I want to re-learn some things through Khan Academy or quickly look up and practice different things.
From what I've been told, the credit I get in the dual enrollment program is supposed to be good for whatever college I go to, but that's just what I've been told, and it's only supposed to, but I doubt it's guarantied. UT Martin doesn't sound bad. My big sister went there for awhile. She told me it's a drinking college, but she didn't really get to tell me much else about it. I gotta try and ask her again soon.
I'm not even sure about what I want to focus on career-wise and don't really have much faith in my math abilities
^^ This tells me you should not consider engineering.
Please take this as I intend it, which is to be direct but helpful.
This is a situation in which home-schooling has not served you very well. You have a lot of knowledge in your head, but absolutely no clue about what to do with it.
My best advice is to attend a community college in your area. Get some courses under your belt, practice managing yourself in a much larger group setting, and take advantage of their career counseling. You really need someone to guide you through this process. Even Dyersburg State will have someone who can point you in the right direction.
Then once you have a solid idea of which skills will fit best with your true interests, you can transfer to a larger university to complete your bachelor's degree.
If you're still in high school your school should have copies of each schools catalog. Pick those up and have a look at the courses first. If you hate your classes it doesn't matter how much you like the dorm or the local area or the town it's located in.
There are lots of people out there that can help. Drop a line if you need to!
Right. If you wanted to attend fall classes at UTK, the deadline was last December 1. I'm afraid all of the non-two year schools will have similar deadlines. You should have been on their websites, checking deadlines. Community college is going to be your best bet, right now. I'm in agreement with wmsn4Life.
I got my application for Tennessee State University and University of Memphis in on time, but if I'm not ready for anything like that, there's no point in setting myself up for failure at the true beginning of my life. I still really want to go somewhere new and meet new people I wouldn't have been able to meet other-wise. Besides the proper college which is the most important thing, I don't really feel like Jackson and Dyersburg have anything to offer me besides being close to my family, and even that can have some major pros and major cons. Sure I will be closer to the friends and good family members I already know and can get their help and be closer to them, but still.
It seems that once again me being lazy and me being in home school have both screwed me over a bit in life. But I assume that community college won't take too long, and I expect the first year to fly by, and I doubt that I will be missing out on any first-year experiences.
I assume that most of life will be this disappointing, now to see if it will get any more lonely. While I do have friends, like I said, I'm home school'd and don't have a driver's license yet. I don't get that many chances to do anything social with anyone. Being out on my own for the first time and getting my driver's license are both my only hope right now.
On the other hand, I most likely am making it out to be worse than I think it will be. Like I said again, I will be closer to the good family members and good friends I already know, and while I almost would much rather work my ass off to keep up in TSU or UofM just to get to be where I want to be, there's no point in doing that if it will just end up landing me in an even worse spot to start my life off in where I am even more unhappy than if I just stay home for one extra year and then after getting a taste or being on my own and being in college, move some place else. However, this brings up the issue of leaving people behind again.
Also, doesn't Dyersburg community college and Jackson community college have a study abroad option, or would that not be beneficial to what I really need? I guess part of why I'm so eager to travel someplace else is that I'm just tired of feeling like I'm missing out on different life experiences and meeting new people in youth, and I thought getting to be out on my own would finally change that, when it most likely isn't.
I think I fear that social bubble thing again, and that once I get a certain age and reach a certain point in my life, it's gonna be hard to make life-long friends and meet nice young women, and that life is gonna be about nothing else other than get up, work, manage financial things, come home, rest, repeat, with the only exception being weekends where I might go out and get drunk at some club.
But of course, I know that's all bull****. Sure there are certain things I'm missing out on, but the thing is, those things are only a fraction of my life, and nobody stays young forever, and the only way I will constantly be stuck in a rut in life that I hate is if I don't do anything about it. I'm actually stuck in a rut right now, and being out on my own and having a life focused around working, managing money, and then resting for the rest of what little of the day is left is either gonna be a step up from where I currently am in life, or a step down. Most likely the latter. And as for the friends thing, I can make friends and meet nice women in various places. I doubt I will be able to make friends wherever I go, though.
If it's dating I'm concerned about, I've read that for biological reasons, financial reasons, social reasons and emotional reasons, your 30's are actually the best time in your life to start dating, though I doubt I'm gonna wait that long, and some people have had success at being much younger than 30, though that's SOME people.
It's starting to sound like I'm afraid of growing up, even though growing up is the only way I'm gonna be able to possibly achieve reaching a place in life that I like or even love. I actually have always felt eager about turning 18 and being out on my own until now, when it's just a little less than a year away. This isn't surprising, though. It's just a part of growing up and life.
In case I forgot to mention it, because of where I live, if I choose to go to Dyersburg state, I will either have to waste money paying for an apartment, or I will have to continue to live with my parents and baby sister. Like I said, it would only be for an extra year, but I'm still feeling really eager to be out on my own. I already been stuck in the same rut at home for almost all of my teenhood, and I don't want to wait another year and miss out on another year or more experiences if I don't have to.
Honestly, I wasn't even really planning on staying in this country for the rest of my life. I've strongly considered moving some place else once I got more experience being on my own and have learned another language, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was something else I'm missing that also makes THAT not worth the effort.
My dad also suggested that I move to another country and take college online, but now both me and him see that's not a good idea right now. I don't have nearly enough experience being on my own, researching other countries and learning their languages to make any big move like that by this fall or this winter.
I feel like I want to either see more of the world, or move to a more impressive place with more to offer me with a fresh start. Not stay at home some more. I feel like if I take community college, nothing in my life is gonna change and I'm gonna continue to stay in this same rut for much longer than I can handle with nothing new in my life other than more pressure, more work, and more drama: No nice new locations with more variety to see and immerse myself in like the beautiful natural views of Knoxville of east Tennessee or the big city that is Nashville, no making friends with people my age who come from other places and are in the same boat as me, no meeting a nice girl from some other place (though I should focus on work anyways), none of that.
For once, I would like to have the freedom, the knowledge, the money and the will to go someplace new and make a big change in my life for the better. Not get homeschooling online with the only difference in my life being that I have more responsibilities and more things to worry about. If there was any way I could make it in Nashville or maybe Memphis, I would choose one of those two. Most likely Nashville. But I don't think this is one of those times where I afford to make a bad move.
Last edited by Glace; 02-07-2013 at 10:09 PM..
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