Southern Horoscope (living, beach, pool)

[Joss]

I ran across this some time ago and thought it might answer some question for those considering a relocation to the South.

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people
that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs
and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners
understand: See the list below...

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the
inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back
over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do
something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A
Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and
has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may
surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with
Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity.
You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to
bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very
intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay
busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to
marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time
on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon
Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who
you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy.
You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to
think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties,
possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a
don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn,
people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not
psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed.
Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and
mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an
office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the
beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to
the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically,
but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with
the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers,
psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes,
if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save
yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the
heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You
Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and
play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface
of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away
from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like
yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits.
You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a
club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon,
butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have
all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help
your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends
and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and
their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much
softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you
want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road
of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for
you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party
because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter
Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at
home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However,
you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough
exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good
evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and
insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions
and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're
almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably
want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky
mating possibility

[EagleI]

Thanks for a good laugh at the end of a good day. We collards appreciate the humor in life...

[hiknapster]

Apparently, I'm a butter bean. Who knew?

[CAtoGA]

Hello from a fellow butter bean (who's married to a boll weevil... )

Thanks for the laugh, Joss. Certainly gives me a new perspective on the south.

[hiknapster]

I'm married to a boll weevil, too! According to this, no one in their right mind should marry them. Speaking for myself, there may be something to this thing!

[Bones]

CRAWFISH here.

Prefer beach to mountains - not
Prefer the bathtub - what's a bathtub ¿

[FL_TN_Nana]

I'm glad I'm GRITS! (Girl raised in the south!).... married to a butter bean...wait til he finds out! (Is he still a butter bean if he hails from Chicago and So. Cal?)

[jim9]

Hi, i have come up with a new site which consists the entire information leading to the astrology... I totally agree, astrology is nice to have to let off steam when things are crazy. Astrology is the ancient practice and study of the stars and planets. Its history goes back to Babylonian times. Astrology is not the same as astronomy. Astronomy studies only the science of the planets, stars and universe.
http://www.astrologyquestions.com/sitemap.html

[mbmouse]

That is great! ....but I have no idea which one I am....guess you can't stick me in a definable box?? LOL!!!!

[artemis]

I'm a Grits, hubby has same birthday. (Easy for him to remember, eh?)