Funerals in TN (for sale, how much, cabinet)

[RamblinRoseRanch]

Originally Posted by skinem

Sounds a lot like the catholic funerals that I've attended...lots of ritual, repeating what the priest says, smoke and kneeling.

No smoke and no kneelin'.... fancy church tho'. I'll see if I can find his obit....

[Beretta]

I am glad for the funeral homes. My dad tells of when his grandfather died (they had shared a room in the house) that grampa laid in state at the house during the mourning period until he was buried. My dad, a kid, had to sleep in the same room with the corpse.

I can't think of funerals without thinking of food. One of my favorite memories was when my maternal grandmother died. The ladies at the church had lunch for the family following the service (this was also the church where my parents had been married 40 years before). As I helped the ladies wash up the dishes in the kitchen (no paper plates!) the ladies told me stories of how my grandmother was always there for other families, working alongside the ladies preparing the funeral meals and cleaning up. It was as if the torch passed. We are all connected by serving each other.

One of the good and bad things about funerals and deaths now is that people used to bring food over in their glassware. Now it is brought over in disposables. It is a shame. The glassware provided an avenue for the widow/family of deceased to get out and go visit other people. Now we just throw the plastic gladware in the trash.

[marmac]

I gotta question anyone who states that bodies were at the house ,no embalming, and the wake lasted for days and days.

C.mon folks, the stench would have been unbearable !

Embalming was done on my ancestors with the wake held in the house. ( I'm talking about 1900)

[Beretta]

I don't know about embalming in my post above; dad never said one way or the other. I could ask Dad but will have to wait for the right time as my uncle passed away last week.

[An Einnseanair]

I'm from rural Mississippi and I've never attended a funeral in TN. Where I'm from, the wake/viewing is almost always held at the funeral home. Everyone visits, talks, and consoles the family. Lots of stories are shared and old ties are renewed. The funeral service is typically held a day or so later at the deceased (or his family's) church, although this can also be at the funeral home's chapel or sometimes at a cemetery chapel. Then a funeral procession to the cemetery (sometimes just a short walk out the door) followed by a short grave-side service.

More distant visitors usually leave after this, and closer relatives/friends gather at the family's house. No restaurants or pubs where I'm from.

[marmac]

Originally Posted by jwkilgore

I'm from rural Mississippi and I've never attended a funeral in TN. Where I'm from, the wake/viewing is almost always held at the funeral home. Everyone visits, talks, and consoles the family. Lots of stories are shared and old ties are renewed. The funeral service is typically held a day or so later at the deceased (or his family's) church, although this can also be at the funeral home's chapel or sometimes at a cemetery chapel. Then a funeral procession to the cemetery (sometimes just a short walk out the door) followed by a short grave-side service.

More distant visitors usually leave after this, and closer relatives/friends gather at the family's house. No restaurants or pubs where I'm from.

Sounds the same like here in Minnesota.

The only difference is many churches have started a funeral lunch program. ( every parishoner pays about $4 a year)

All parishoners are divided into 4 or 6 groups and rotate as workers for the funeral lunch. The group on duty brings cakes,bars,etc and the church lunch fund pays for coffee, ham, bread, and hot dish ingredients.

Lunch is held in the church hall or church basement.

However, many people belong to no church parish or congregation, thus many people have a short visitation at the funeral home for an hour before the short service at the funeral home.

Cremation is gaining in popularity here also.

Are my last 2 paragraphs similar to the trend in TN?

[skinem]

Visitation here is still primarily the evening before funeral services...typically from say, 5-8 or thereabouts. Depending upon who it is, sometimes visitation runs longer. People who can't make visitation often still come by the day of visitation to sign the guest book, or run in quickly to either sign the guest book or speak to the family the day of the funeral.

Not seeing much cremation here...couldn't tell you when the last one was that I knew of...and I'll bet I'm at the funeral home once a week on average. Some weeks not at all, some weeks multiple times.

Edited to add---Beretta, I'm sorry about your uncle.

[marmac]

Is this happening in TN ?

One tradition that is fast disappearing is the procession from the funeral home to the church.

The wake ( open coffin, usually) would be the night before ( 4-8) at the funeral home.
Visitation was 1 hour before services the next day at the funeral home also.

An assistant lined up the parking to prepare for the procession to the church.
When the time came, the funeral director would ask everybody except immediate family to go to their cars.

The caslet was then closed for the final time in the privacy of the immediate family.

Now, most of the time, the body is transported to the church early in the morning and the 1 hour open coffin visitation is at the church.

Thus, the final closing of the coffin is done in front of a church full of people and the immediate family doesn't get that moment of privacy.

The reason given was less hassle for the funeral director.
One procession ( church to graveyard) rather than two.

I miss that moment of privacy that was afforded to the immediate family when the final closing was done at the funeral home intead of the front of the church.

[JoAnn5]

I suppose the reason there are so many different funeral services is that the funeral is really for the living. Whatever service brings them comfort is the correct one for them.

I do (barely) remember the old days when there was lot of loud wailing and mourning. I'm thankful that has been toned down as it was exhausting for the family and scary to little kids who attended!

The closing of the casket in the presence of just the immediate family would be comforting to me... a chance to say a final goodbye without an audience. It's interesting to see the different types of funerals on this thread. Thanks for starting it and sharing in it.

[LABART]

Originally Posted by RamblinRoseRanch

You're fine, Labart- what a beautiful story I love the part about the squirrels!

I have to say the oddest, to me anyway, funeral was my former employer. I forget the denomination, and i'm not trying to offend anyone but it was, for lack of a better term- interactive. We were given a script at the door and as the pastor read, we read back to him. A large church in Johnson City. It felt so formal and cold to me.
Any ideas?

Maybe it was Catholic? It sounds kind of like my grandmothers funeral, just add lots of sit, kneel, stands.