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Okay I am dying to ask this question!!!! Has anyone else notice this really strange trend of men holding the purses of the woman he is with? I keep noticing this and mainly with Asian men. To me it is totally crazy to see a man holding a woman's purse for her. It is not like she is going to the washroom, just doing something for a few seconds, clearly injured or pregnant. This guy is sitting next to me with his girl freind/ wife and holding her purse on his lap ...lol. She has like nothing in her hands. Are these guys scared if they let the woman hold her bag she will be able to take off and ditch them! Honestly a man holding a woman's bag if it is really heavy or large is seen as old world polite, but if your holding her coach bag when she is not impaired I am feeling whipped or hostage taker lol. A few days a ago this guy was holding a Victoria secret bag and his girls purse ( seriously how heavy is a bra or panty that you need your guy to hold it. Not in a million years would my partner or anyone else I dated be caught dead holding my purse without being mortified. Anyone seeing this or have an opinion.
Yes, In Asia (or China at least) it is apparently very popular. The girls act like babies and the men do everything, including holding their empty purses, in some sick way to show he cares about her (as if she has leukemia or something).
Dating culture is weird among the Chinese and men and women don't seem to be in equal positions. In some cases, the guy needs to give his girlfriend the password of his email address just to show his "loyalty". I personally find this disgusting. I don't know whether other Asian countries do the same.
Last edited by botticelli; 05-05-2016 at 09:28 AM..
Yes, In Asia (or China at least) it is apparently very popular. The girls act like babies and the men do everything, including holding their empty purses, in some sick way to show he cares about her (as if she has leukemia or something).
Dating culture is weird among the Chinese and men and women don't seem to be in equal positions. In some cases, the guy needs to give his girlfriend the password of his email address just to show his "loyalty". I personally find this disgusting. I don't know whether other Asian countries do the same.
This whole thread made me laugh because I mentioned the exact same thing to my coworker when I was in Shanghai last year. It was so noticeable that it became a running joke for us. I did not see it as often in Hong Kong but Shanghai it seemed beyond common.
As far as Toronto goes I have not noticed it being all that common there or maybe I just haven't noticed.
Yes, In Asia (or China at least) it is apparently very popular. The girls act like babies and the men do everything, including holding their empty purses, in some sick way to show he cares about her (as if she has leukemia or something).
Dating culture is weird among the Chinese and men and women don't seem to be in equal positions. In some cases, the guy needs to give his girlfriend the password of his email address just to show his "loyalty". I personally find this disgusting. I don't know whether other Asian countries do the same.
Sorry for messing up the thread title .... I was on my iphone in horrow when typing this ! I literally was getting so confused about this. At frist I was thinking maybe it is his bag... but it really feminine? Then I was thinking okay maybe he is gay and they are freinds? Then I though well maybe she is sick or something it wrong with her ... but then why does not seem so healthy ? Is he her man servant? Is he like trying to make her stay with him .. ex you can't go anywhere because I got your wallet and keys? What the heck is up?
Talk about cultural differences. In my cultural back ground or my partners the response even to hold my purse while going to the washroom would be to the effect of one of the following ....
1. "Seriously you can't take it in there with you?"
2. " What the heck!! I am goint to look like a complete idiot holding your purse!
3. Oh my God why do you have to carry so much junk with you all the time? Why do you even need a purse? I doubt you use 1/10th of the junk that is in there.
Then after me complaining about him being so mean and childish about it .. the answer end up being " Oh my God fine, but put it down beside me and I will watch it". Then I spot check to see if he is really watching it and of course he is not watching it that carefully because he looses his stuff 24/7 so he does not have the sense to watch my stuff any better ..... So I just end up taking my stuff with me to avoid drama or stress out about in the 10 mintues it might take me to get what I wanted to do done he is going to loose my purse.
Every man I know is quick you use the purse of the woman his is with at the time as a storage locker for certain items (ex water bottles or anything he can't fit in his pocket comfortably).
So happy that it might be a cultural thing as I was starting to wonder if I should be asking these girl how they got him to do that... ex hypnosis or does she have some dirty of him ?
If a man in my culture or even with the people I grew up around saw a guy holding his girl freinds purse and light bags .. they would tease him calling him whipped . To be honest I would even think I was being really disrespectful of him if I was making him walk around with my purse or small light bags with my under garments in them while my hands where empty and I has not physical reason why I could not carry these items. I think that might be one Asian influence our local men should try to avoid. I wabt them to be my equal ... but I really don't want them to be seen submissive.
This whole thread made me laugh because I mentioned the exact same thing to my coworker when I was in Shanghai last year. It was so noticeable that it became a running joke for us. I did not see it as often in Hong Kong but Shanghai it seemed beyond common.
As far as Toronto goes I have not noticed it being all that common there or maybe I just haven't noticed.
Most of the time I noticed this in Toronto it was been Asian couples. A couple of times not. I have been seeing it more and more frequently so that is why I started the thread. I was thinking what the heck ... maybe I should be asking my partners to step it up. Ex .. Hey man this dude is holding his girl freinds purse! What the heck do you ever do for me ???
I think that might be one Asian influence our local men should try to avoid. I wabt them to be my equal ... but I really don't want them to be seen submissive.
Please avoid it by all means. I myself will NEVER hold the purse for a woman. The thing is, if your bag is too heavy to carry around, then maybe you should not put so much crap there in the first place Or if you really need that much, then ask the guy to carry it in his bagpack or something instead of having him carrying a woman's bag around looking like a total idiot.
Sorry, this practice annoys me as much as it does you. but there is a deeper reason for that: in western culture, men and women are largely equal when dating. Women tend to be independent and don't want to play the "weak" part. In Asian culture, women want to be considered weak and expect the men to "take of" them all the time, including things they are completely capable of doing. Another example is that men are always expected to pay the entire bill during dating period, at least for a very long time, otherwise, they are considered "cheap". Very few women would offer to split the cost, because it is as if going out with the man is already a huge favour.
Honestly I don't know if these women realize that they are disrespecting themselves by doing so.
Most of the time I noticed this in Toronto it was been Asian couples. A couple of times not. I have been seeing it more and more frequently so that is why I started the thread. I was thinking what the heck ... maybe I should be asking my partners to step it up. Ex .. Hey man this dude is holding his girl freinds purse! What the heck do you ever do for me ???
there is a cost for every right. In expecting that, you are basically giving up your position as an equal member of the relationship - you are the weaker side.
there is a cost for every right. In expecting that, you are basically giving up your position as an equal member of the relationship - you are the weaker side.
Ya ... my partner is not stupid. We have been together too long for him to fall for that trick regardless .
Yes, In Asia (or China at least) it is apparently very popular. The girls act like babies and the men do everything, including holding their empty purses, in some sick way to show he cares about her (as if she has leukemia or something).
The "ideal" beautiful woman in Japan is still mostly someone girlish and fragile and physically weak... men hold doors for them, carry packages, if they drop something a man will pick it up for them. If they're an attractive young woman, that is... the barbie-doll high maintenance types. Some guys like their girlfriends to conform to that ideal. So they play the supporting role.
I agree that there's a trade off, for both sides. Young women trying to play that part have to spend a ton of time and money on their appearance, and they'd better look flawless if they expect to receive the princess treatment. And it must be exhausting have to play-act at being so helpless in such an exaggerated way all of the time. Like they can't even tie their own shoelaces without looking around to see if there's a cute young guy who will do it for them. Guys must find it exhausting to have to pamper a girlfriend like a pet all the time. Some Western couples are like this too, though. It's just not as common, maybe?
The "ideal" beautiful woman in Japan is still mostly someone girlish and fragile and physically weak... men hold doors for them, carry packages, if they drop something a man will pick it up for them. If they're an attractive young woman, that is... the barbie-doll high maintenance types. Some guys like their girlfriends to conform to that ideal. So they play the supporting role.
I agree that there's a trade off, for both sides. Young women trying to play that part have to spend a ton of time and money on their appearance, and they'd better look flawless if they expect to receive the princess treatment. And it must be exhausting have to play-act at being so helpless in such an exaggerated way all of the time. Like they can't even tie their own shoelaces without looking around to see if there's a cute young guy who will do it for them. Guys must find it exhausting to have to pamper a girlfriend like a pet all the time. Some Western couples are like this too, though. It's just not as common, maybe?
Some people are just not ambishious lol. I stopped wanting to be a princess when I realized there were better options Godess trumps, empress trumps, Queen which trumps princess. Now that I think about it ...forget it! The more less ambitious people the less competition for people like me that don't like sitting around like a decoration.
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! I literally was getting so confused about this. At frist I was thinking maybe it is his bag... but it really feminine? Then I was thinking okay maybe he is gay and they are freinds? Then I though well maybe she is sick or something it wrong with her ... but then why does not seem so healthy 
? Is he her man servant? Is he like trying to make her stay with him .. ex you can't go anywhere because I got your wallet and keys? What the heck is up? 
to the effect of one of the following ....
. So I just end up taking my stuff with me to avoid drama or stress out about in the 10 mintues it might take me to get what I wanted to do done he is going to loose my purse. 
. To be honest I would even think I was being really disrespectful of him if I was making him walk around with my purse or small light bags with my under garments in them while my hands where empty and I has not physical reason why I could not carry these items. I think that might be one Asian influence our local men should try to avoid. I wabt them to be my equal ... but I really don't want them to be seen submissive.
....
I myself will NEVER hold the purse for a woman. The thing is, if your bag is too heavy to carry around, then maybe you should not put so much crap there in the first place 
Or if you really need that much, then ask the guy to carry it in his bagpack or something instead of having him carrying a woman's bag around looking like a total idiot. 
