Tyler, TX - Too conservative for my family? (Dallas, Austin: fit in, homes)

[AuroraSylver]

My husband may be transferred to Tyler, Texas and we're struggling right now trying to decide whether he should look for another job/position or if we should make the move. We have some pros and cons to consider. The pros are that my husband's $58K per year salary plus my $26K per year salary (I telecommute, so my job travels with me) will make us able to afford a very nice home in the Tyler/Whitehouse area. There's also opportunity for advancement for my husband if we move to Tyler.

As far as I've seen in photos Tyler is a lovely city. I'm a gardener, so the azalea and rose festivals appeal to me, too. The cost of living around Tyler seems very low. I've also heard that Texans are friendly and full of Texas pride--all good things.

Here's the rub, though. I've also heard Tyler, and much of Texas in general, is very conservative and very Christian. I have nothing against either, but I'm very liberal and an agnostic (in other words, not at all religious and not open to becoming so). My husband is also liberal and a wiccan. We've taught our kids about all different religions (they even attended Lutheran Sunday school when they were younger to get a taste of their grandparents' religion), but our children are not religious, either. They're also very open and liberal in their beliefs. Neither kid has a racist bone in their bodies--seriously.

I don't want to stir up a huge controversy--Tyler is what it is, and I'm fine with that. I'm just worried that, given our beliefs, and even though we're pretty private about them, my family won't fit in there. Will my kids have trouble fitting into school when if folks ask them where they go to church and they tell them that they don't? Just how conservative is Tyler? I'm hoping my worries are unfounded, but I'd like to go in with my eyes open.

Thanks in advance!

[UNT_Eagle]

Originally Posted by AuroraSylver

My husband may be transferred to Tyler, Texas and we're struggling right now trying to decide whether he should look for another job/position or if we should make the move. We have some pros and cons to consider. The pros are that my husband's $58K per year salary plus my $26K per year salary (I telecommute, so my job travels with me) will make us able to afford a very nice home in the Tyler/Whitehouse area. There's also opportunity for advancement for my husband if we move to Tyler.

As far as I've seen in photos Tyler is a lovely city. I'm a gardener, so the azalea and rose festivals appeal to me, too. The cost of living around Tyler seems very low. I've also heard that Texans are friendly and full of Texas pride--all good things.

Here's the rub, though. I've also heard Tyler, and much of Texas in general, is very conservative and very Christian. I have nothing against either, but I'm very liberal and an agnostic (in other words, not at all religious and not open to becoming so). My husband is also liberal and a wiccan. We've taught our kids about all different religions (they even attended Lutheran Sunday school when they were younger to get a taste of their grandparents' religion), but our children are not religious, either. They're also very open and liberal in their beliefs. Neither kid has a racist bone in their bodies--seriously.

I don't want to stir up a huge controversy--Tyler is what it is, and I'm fine with that. I'm just worried that, given our beliefs, and even though we're pretty private about them, my family won't fit in there. Will my kids have trouble fitting into school when if folks ask them where they go to church and they tell them that they don't? Just how conservative is Tyler? I'm hoping my worries are unfounded, but I'd like to go in with my eyes open.

Thanks in advance!

Hi there,
Just wanted to let you know that Tyler might not be the best place for you and you're family. You won't fit in well there. Yes, it is extremely conservative and all points around the area as well. Try Dallas, or Austin if you want to experience more of a progressive lifestyle.

[AuroraSylver]

Originally Posted by UNT_Eagle

Hi there,
Just wanted to let you know that Tyler might not be the best place for you and you're family. You won't fit in well there. Yes, it is extremely conservative and all points around the are as well. Try Dallas, or Austin if you want to experience more of a progressive lifestyle.

Thing is, we don't have much of a choice. My husband's job transfer is to a corporate office in Tyler, so it's Tyler or the surrounding area. We've looked at south Tyler, Whitehouse, and Flint.

Thanks for answering, though. We sure have lots to consider. I hope to hear some more thoughts and opinions.

[UNT_Eagle]

Henderson might be an option for you. It's not too far from Tyler.

[Poltracker]

Won't say you'll run into no trouble. Deep East Texas is what it is, but alot of Texans have a live and let live attitude. As long as your a contributing citizens and are nice folks most people just don't mind. They will wonder why you don't attend church and maybe ask you along but generally don't proseletize. They may also look at you sideways if you say you are agnostic...just do not mention wiccan please. Most folks don't understand that at all and think of halloween/demonic type witches instead of the earth/nature/wholistic/spiritual religion that it really is. BTW you will not be alone, but hooking up with others of similar belief will be a little more difficult.

[AuroraSylver]

Originally Posted by Poltracker

Won't say you'll run into no trouble. Deep East Texas is what it is, but alot of Texans have a live and let live attitude. As long as your a contributing citizens and are nice folks most people just don't mind. They will wonder why you don't attend church and maybe ask you along but generally don't proseletize. They may also look at you sideways if you say you are agnostic...just do not mention wiccan please. Most folks don't understand that at all and think of halloween/demonic type witches instead of the earth/nature/wholistic/spiritual religion that it really is. BTW you will not be alone, but hooking up with others of similar belief will be a little more difficult.

Thanks much for your response.

My husband and I don't usually talk about our beliefs. When questioned about religion I politely decline to discuss the topic. My husband knows all too well the stereotypes associated with his religious beliefs. It's just like you said--people see wicca as devil worship instead of the earth-centered religion that it is. It's difficult to convince people otherwise, so we don't try. We have live-and-let-live attitudes and just hope folks will give us the same consideration.

[GayleTX]

If you move to that area, you might want to look for a home out in the woods (and there are many beautiful homes in the deep woods)....... and not give out your address to anyone! Tyler folks don't take very well to people who think the way you think. And it's hard to avoid the topic of religion in Tyler.....much of the social life there is based on church activities (Green Acres Baptist Church is a strong force there and has been for many years).

Does the potential boss there know your husband already.... know him well enough to be aware of his religios practices? That might be a real issue if he doesn't know already. Depending upon what kind of business your husband is in - many companies expect their employees to attend church, join the Loin's Club, socialize and network with the 'right people' for business and/or political purposes.

[destin04]

Okay....if I didn't already live in the Tyler area I sure wouldn't want to move here. Tyler is not some little red-neck, close minded city that all votes republican and goes to the Baptist church. Tyler is an awesome city who welcomes all the new faces that are moving into our area from all over the United States. And believe me...they are coming from all over. I'm a realtor and this past week..every client I showed homes to was from outside of the East Texas area. I say we welcome our new neighbors with open arms! Welcome to the great state of Texas!

[Toto2]

My advice is to really think twice about moving to Texas. We moved here from up north 5 yrs ago, and one of the first things that everyone we encountered asked us is 'have you found a church yet?' And I'm talking about even tradesmen who came to our home to give us estimates on work to be done on our house. We were asked more times than I can count to join them in going to church. North Texas is very, very conservative. People here take Christianity very, very seriously. If your beliefs were discovered, both you, your husband and family would be ostracized. If your views differ from the 'accepted community standard,' you will not be able to voice them....at all. Don't get me wrong....Texans are very friendly and warm people. But on this topic they will not bend.

[Canine*Castle]

Check out the link below. I did a search and found it and must admit, I'm quite shocked.

Texas: Family Oriented Groups