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I am employed, I make a comfortable salary enough to get by but definitely not enough to live it up. My boyfriend has been out of work for 3 years -- not 3 months, 3 years -- apparently at least the first year he had the wrong area code listed on his phone number on his resume.
He has not had an interview in at least 2 1/2 years, he has been very depressed for a year at least, some days doesnt even bother checking his email, and I am sort of at my wits end here. Obviously this has drained my savings and based on my current salary we really dont have much extra to be able to even go out and enjoy life a little so essentially I go to work every day to pay my bills, his bills (phone, his share of rent and utilities), and come home essentially a prisoner in my apartment because we cant afford to do anything.
I do try and be encouraging but he's moody, sometimes grumpy, and as with many depressed people just completely disinterested in life. When we fight I do get on him about not having a job but I dont nag him about it on a daily or even weekly basis. In fact I very rarely ask him what leads he has, where he sent resumes out, etc etc but seriously what do I need to do here? I see no light at the end of this tunnel, obviously his current career path isnt working out but he doesnt have a plan B and even though I have hinted that perhaps he considers some temp work or other work to help tide us over he hasnt done anything about that either.
So those of you who have been unemployed for a while, you tell me, what do you need your spouses/SOs to do to get you even the slightest bit excited about looking for work? I need to do something to change things, I know it's hard on him but dealing with an unemployed SO who is also seriously depressed is really starting to take it's toll on me.
He shouldn't knock temp work, I know here they have a temp agency that works for Amazon.com and if you work hard enough you can get hired on. He needs to keep trying because he won't get a chance to get hired on if he doesn't apply some where. I bet hearing your hired would bring him out of his depressed attitude, even if it is only for a temp job.
He shouldn't knock temp work, I know here they have a temp agency that works for Amazon.com and if you work hard enough you can get hired on. He needs to keep trying because he won't get a chance to get hired on if he doesn't apply some where. I bet hearing your hired would bring him out of his depressed attitude, even if it is only for a temp job.
Believe me, I dont disagree. Before posting I read through some threads here about how some of the members of this board turned down jobs because their SOs said it was beneath them, or a step back, or whatever. That's never happened with us. I always suggested to try for anything because something is better than nothing.
Any suggestions how to gently push him towards going after temp work?
Ask yourself - why in the world does he need to get another job? What motivation is there for him to get another job? From that you will get your answer and your solution.
And if it's not clear, the answer is below.
So those of you who have been unemployed for a while, you tell me, what do you need your spouses/SOs to do to get you even the slightest bit excited about looking for work?...
Stop supporting him.
I know if I ran out of all options and was facing eviction or losing what little I had, I'd certainly get in gear and get anything. I know that's harsh to do but perhaps he's too comfortable right now cause his bills are being paid. Maybe if he lost his phone or had to find another place to live, he'd see that he really does have to do something.
See whats in your area, I think the prospect of getting hired on by a major company might make some one think twice about looking over a temp agency. I know Toyota uses a temp agency and if you work there for 2-3 years Toyota hires you on. Some places even give health insurance and other benefits you would find with a regular job.
I know if I ran out of all options and was facing eviction or losing what little I had, I'd certainly get in gear and get anything. I know that's harsh to do but perhaps he's too comfortable right now cause his bills are being paid. Maybe if he lost his phone or had to find another place to live, he'd see that he really does have to do something.
Good luck. I know that's rough.
Believe me, that has crossed my mind as well but I just am not that heartless. Maybe I threaten it, give him a deadline, something...see if that works but man I am looking for maybe a more positive way to encourage him to get work rather than negative reinforcement.
See whats in your area, I think the prospect of getting hired on by a major company might make some one think twice about looking over a temp agency. I know Toyota uses a temp agency and if you work there for 2-3 years Toyota hires you on. Some places even give health insurance and other benefits you would find with a regular job.
If he is clinically depressed he needs to see a doctor. Treating the depression will give him a whole new outlook on life.
I agree, that is also on the list but unfortunately money is so tight that we really cant afford one.
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