Would you leave someone who didn't believe you? (ghost, spirits)

[cyberphonics]

I watch a lot of the shows where people recount their real life paranormal experiences and one of the recurring themes is that their spouse/parents/relatives et cetera didn't believe them or take them seriously, dismissing their concerns/fears and not being there for them through an experience that was clearly traumatic, sometimes even being hostile about it.

I couldn't be with someone who completely disregarded something bothering me that much, especially if I felt threatened by it. Even if you don't believe something paranormal is going on, I think that if you really love and respect someone, you should do your best to stand by them through troubling times - even if the end result is that it does turn out to be nothing.

For example, you don't have to believe that your wife saw a ghost staring at her in the bedroom but if she asks you to stay in bed with her that night instead of going downstairs to watch the telly or something if only so that she can at least feel safe for a while, what does it say about how you regard her and your relationship if you just laugh and say, "No, you're just seeing things" and leave her alone in there anyhow?

That's the kind of thing I mean by not "supporting". Would you leave someone who constantly treated you this way, leaving you to face events alone, maybe not even paying enough attention to it to even investigate what else it could be, or outright belittling you for the experiences you're claiming to have? Or would you be able to separate their detachment from your relationship as a whole.

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by cyberphonics

I watch a lot of the shows where people recount their real life paranormal experiences and one of the recurring themes is that their spouse/parents/relatives et cetera didn't believe them or take them seriously, dismissing their concerns/fears and not being there for them through an experience that was clearly traumatic, sometimes even being hostile about it.

I couldn't be with someone who completely disregarded something bothering me that much, especially if I felt threatened by it. Even if you don't believe something paranormal is going on, I think that if you really love and respect someone, you should do your best to stand by them through troubling times - even if the end result is that it does turn out to be nothing.

For example, you don't have to believe that your wife saw a ghost staring at her in the bedroom but if she asks you to stay in bed with her that night instead of going downstairs to watch the telly or something if only so that she can at least feel safe for a while, what does it say about how you regard her and your relationship if you just laugh and say, "No, you're just seeing things" and leave her alone in there anyhow?

That's the kind of thing I mean by not "supporting". Would you leave someone who constantly treated you this way, leaving you to face events alone, maybe not even paying enough attention to it to even investigate what else it could be, or outright belittling you for the experiences you're claiming to have? Or would you be able to separate their detachment from your relationship as a whole.

If he's constantly treating you this way, to me that means he's doing it with everything in your life, so yes -- I'd leave. He's treating you with derision and not the events.

[ocpaul20]

It is respect for a partner or not. Once respect has left, then maybe it is too late and time to move on?

[Hemlock140]

Whether they believe you or not is not as important as whether they trust you enough to know that you believe it, and support you in dealing with it. Fortunately for me, my wife and I both shared our first apparent paranormal experience.

[Miss Hepburn]

It would happen eventually anyway...a parting of the ways.

[Tourian]

I watch those type of shows and I never understand how something like that could be going on without both people noticing. Then I think like others in this thread have in that the spouse is just the type to not take anything their partner says seriously. Then I think what if it really is a demon at work trying to break them up and chooses to only manifest and torment one of them?

My wife claims not to believe or is very skeptical of the supernatural where as I am all in. Sometimes shell admittedly have a bad dream and wake me uo to check the house or she'll get scared over some thought or bad feeling and want me to investigate. Ill grumble or pick at her sometimes but ill always do it because I see how scared she is. Id hate to know what would happen if we were confornted wirh an actual demon though. I would think a ghost would be frightening for both of us.

[Plainswalker]

My husband is very grounded and does not believe anything out of the ordinary. Usually in the night, when I encounter the majority of my terrors, be it a dream, or something I experience while awake, or at least convinced I am, he will be unresponsive (which just leaves me with the horrid experiences), or tell me he's trying to sleep (which tells me it's just me seeing/feeling/hearing).

A few rare nights, one having been earlier this week, he'll roll over and just hold me and stroke my arm (he doesn't touch when he sleeps, he sleeps 'alone' on his side).

I often wished he would understand what my beliefs are and understand what I go through, his mother does, and his brother(s) (one I'm unsure of, I dislike him.) does, so what is keeping him?

I need him to be grounded, I need him the way I found him, I need him to be the man I fell in love with. Rock solid, Brave, adventurous, skeptical, intelligent, quiet and introverted, even standoffish and serious to those who he doesn't let in, but the most caring, loyal, and generous friend/family you could EVER have... I see the facets of my diamond of a husband no one does, and I appreciate having those. He and I are very different, and bring different things to the table.

If I left my husband, it would never be because he doesn't experience the spiritual things I do.

[mainebrokerman]

alot of men, say they are black and white- believer, or non believer, but theirs more to it- i think most people (and men) believe more than the tangable, but it seems to threaten them....

i had a friend like this- and he says-yes i do believe in spirits, but i tell my wife i dont,,,because i dont want to hear her all the time saying "im feeling someone is in the room" and thats all she's focused on the rest of the nite..

men are protectors- the unknown threatens that security blanket, most men like to provide-
men dont like "what ifs" because if "she" gets all squirrely on what-ifs,,,there's nothing he can do


personally, i believe in ghosts, and the afterlife, i've had experiences, that changed my life....

[Terryj]

To the OP, I do think there is more going on in your relationship than just this incident, this is just a symptom of an underlying issue.

There is a big difference between believing someone and supporting someone, one doesn't have to believe someone in order to support them, "I believe you believe this" type of thing, however, if one doesn't believe the validity of the claim then the person starts seeing this as "enabling", which can take its toll on any relationship. I'd have to ask, "is this a common occurance", do you see "ghost" a lot. If your spouse has never seen one this can lead to a problem. We base our reality on our experiences, if one has never had that experience then it is very hard to comprehend the impact that this has on the person, therefore, it is hard to relate to or even hard to believe, which then a person starts to wonder the mental condition of the person. This also depends on just how "open minded" your spouse is and again experiences plays allot in this.

If your relationship lacking in open-ness, communication or intimacy this type of action (leaving the room) is a way of dealing with the issues, in which, the best solution is to fix the underlying problems or separate form the relationship.

[Spirit Chaser]

Speaking as an average person, forgeting the Ph.D 'Clinical Psychologist" title for a simple thought he might disagree with you, public/private, but it goes into comments meant to hurt or do emotional damage, I'd dump him in a "heart beat"and no, my thoughts do not represent the APA.