[arel]

How friendly are people in southern Vermont, particularly in the Brattleboro area? Strangers I have met have been courteous (most of the time) but rather reserved, often standoffish.

I'm from New York City, so I am used to rudeness, if one can ever get used to it. One reason I'm thinking of moving to Vermont is to get away from the rudeness. Of course, that is not the only reason.

As a newcomer, I would want to meet people and make new friends. Real friends, not just casual acquaintances to greet in public. I will probably want to get involved in community activities, including service roles.

I was a bit disturbed by some of the posts on the "Are People in Burlington Friendly/Sociable?" thread, which pictured Vermonters as somewhat aloof and unfriendly. Maybe southern Vermont is different?

I visited North Carolina once, a long time ago, and I remember the friendliness. I found it startling and refreshing. At the time, I wondered how genuinely accepting people were under all that friendliness. But the friendliness really made interactions much more pleasant and the environment much more welcoming.

[christoforest]

Hi Arel,

I agree that the thread about Burlington friendliness wasn't so encouraging, and the lack of response to your thread doesnt help!

Here is a website from Brattleboro that may help.

http://www.ibrattleboro.com/article....70131180547129

My wife and I are also considering the Pioneer Valley of Western Mass which is literally 20 minutes from Brattleboro and is also beautiful and progressive, so tht may be an option for you to consider as well. The main towns are Northampton and Amherst.

[arel]

I agree that the lack of response was not so encouraging.

I love the Pioneer Valley and actually considered moving there several years ago. I used to visit a friend in Amherst, but she passed away. But I loved the area. I loved the cosmopolitan environment. I loved seeing mountains in the distance over a horse farm. And I loved the areas around Amherst, such as Montegue.

One appeal of Brattleboro is that the Pioneer Valley is nearby. But for certain reasons, I need to go to Brattleboro and not somewhere else in the area.

I am a regular reader of iBrattleboro and I recently posted something. It's in the "Pets" section, and is about needing a veterinarian for a diabetic cat.

...

Thanks for the reference. I just read it. Very enlightening. The only problem, though, is that I want people to talk to me, to answer questions, to include me, etc., etc. I don't want people to observe me for years before they interact with me. I do have one sub-community up there to be a part of, but I want to be part of the larger community. On top of that, I come from ethnic and professional subcultures that are very verbal. I guess I have to learn to be more comfortable with taciturn people, and not take their taciturn-ness as rejection or hostility.

[christoforest]

I hear you. My wife is Brazillian so she is also very sociable and open, and struggles with the North American coolness. I am from NJ and I dont like it either! What are your ethnic and professional subcultures?

I have lived in Seattle for 15 years and on the surface everyone is all smiles, and polite, but getting below that veneer is constant work, and often impossible. We are ready to try something different, and if the initial reserve of New Englanders is the veneer and deepness is behind that, I think in the end that would be more satisfying.

But then again why shouldnt people be open AND deep! Maybe it takes too much energy, hah!

[arel]

"We are ready to try something different, and if the initial reserve of New Englanders is the veneer and deepness is behind that, I think in the end that would be more satisfying.

But then again why shouldnt people be open AND deep! Maybe it takes too much energy, hah!"

__________________________________________

I agree to both points you made. (I don't know how to quote sections of a post; I just copied and pasted.)

My subcultures? Well, my ethnic subculture is Jewish and my professional subculture is that of Psychotherapists. Both very verbal. Both very NYC.

[christoforest]

I appreciate where you are at, and hopefully there will be more feedback from some other readers. By the way, based on all your posts, I dont think you will have any problem becoming part of whatever community you settle in.

[arel]

Oh, thank you, Christoforest. That comment meant a lot to me.

[christoforest]

No problem.

It is difficult to know if this forum is really representative of the people of VT.

[ontheroad]

Having lived in the Pioneer Valley, and with family friends in Brattleboro, I'd say they are very alike or as much alike as two different places can be and still be within a few exits from each other on the highway and different States.

New Englanders make very good friends, but it does not happen quickly. But the reward is that when it does come it is sincere and often life-long. General congeniality from locals can and will develop into something deeper given time, and common ground--but not superficial instant intimacy.

I myself am a very social, outgoing person, but have my reserve. I don't think I ever lacked for friendship in the Pioneer Valley--invited to parties, people's homes, good coffee chats, and helpful, involved neighbours.