Can we fit in VA? (Norfolk, Richmond: home, transfer to, YMCA)

[jaydbrk]

Greetings all. My little family has suddenly happened on an opportunity to transfer to the lovely Hopewell/Chester/Richmond area from the west coast. We have been living in the Pacific Northwest for years and have, of course, adapted to the culture here. Our children have mostly grown up here with fairly typical west coast social sensibilities-frankness, informality, excessive jocularity.

What are the chances that we (especially our teenagers) will be able to find a social niche in that area?

Thanks!

[ellar]

I hate to be pessimistic, but I am not sure moving would be the best for your family unless your teens are unhappy where they are. First of all, we are getting ready to move, and nearly every person I've talked to has said that we are lucky that our kids are young because they say the teen years are the worst years to move. Teens usually have strong friendships established etc. It seems that moving at that age can be difficult. On top of that, you may be in for a bit of culture shock. I don't live in Richmond, so I may be wrong, but I do know the east coast is quite different from the northwest. My husband grew up in the Pacific Northwest outside of Seattle. I grew up in the northeast. We've lived in Georgia for years and are now preparing to move to Virginia. I can tell you I was quite surprised when I saw how different the mentality is in the northwest. Pacific northwesterners just seemed to have a different mindset than what I was accustomed to--ranging from clothing choices to what is considered appropriate conversation. Maybe that won't be a problem with the teens because of their age, but I'm not sure. My husband has had a somewhat difficult time in the south. He has basically adjusted by keeping his mouth shut in a number of cases. That could be harder for your teens. The people in Virginia do seem wonderful when I have visited there preparing for our move. My husband is hoping he may feel more at home there than in Georgia, but we'll see. The one difference I have already seen in Virginia is the influence of DC. Even in some other parts of Virginia, there seems to be a number of people who have lived in DC, and they are more cosmopolitan than many of the southerners I've known in Georgia. That does seem to make a difference. Anyway, good luck with your decision. If you visit the state for at least a week, that may help you decide.

[summers19]

What ages are your kids? You may want to be emotionally prepared when they choose colleges. They may want to move back to the northwest for college b/c that's what they are used to. Like the previous poster mentioned, it's strongly suggested you come to VA for a week or more with your kids to see how they like it...go to the skate park, ymca, whatever your family is used to doing to see how they enjoy the kids, people, attitude, etc. Just a thought. I know my answer may not be popular with some, as they would say it's not up to the kids if the parents want to move. But depending on the ages of your kids, there could be a TON of resentment and acting out behaviors if they view the move to VA as negative and don't feel like they fit in.

[summers19]

P.S.
There is a lot of joking here, too. I was raised in MI and find southerner's sense of humor very charming and hilarious. That part of the move probably won't be a problem.

[jaydbrk]

Well, we have all actually had the benefit of spending a little time there. We have work and family ties nearby, so we've all visited the area. Our teens don't object to what they've seen so far and one is completely in love with the historical treasures. Our 17 year old has not balked at the idea, and our 16 year old was already talking about moving closer to family. At this point, we're thinking that the only possible real problem would be the culture clash.

My husband and i recently spent a week in Hopewell and just loved it. We especially loved the people we met, but just wonder if we risk wearing our welcome thin with our loose west coast ways!

[richmondpics]

Unless you walk around naked all the time or something, I doubt you'd encounter animosity.

Definitely a LOT of historical attractions around Richmond, and you'd be close to many more in every direction (DC, Williamsburg, Norfolk, Petersburg, Charlottesville, etc).

[godfreew]

We moved from Wisconsin to VA with a girl halfway through high school. She had a few close friends there, but she made many more friends here and loved it. She ended up going to college in VA (out of state was too expensive) at Christopher Newport u in Newport News and loved it. It all depends on the teens and their attitudes. If they think it is exciting, they will adapt much better. Being closer to family is a big plus. People are friendly here and very courteous. The pace of life is slower. I've been to Hopewell once. It seemed to be a nice little town but fairly poor. It all depends on what you are looking for. I would prefer Williamsburg but it is more expensive.

[jb124]

Only thing I would add is that the Hopewell/Richmond area will likely be more conservative than the PacNW, both politically and religiously. I had somewhat of a culture clash myself when I went to college in central VA, coming from northern VA.

[Rhett_Butler]

Originally Posted by jb124

Only thing I would add is that the Hopewell/Richmond area will likely be more conservative than the PacNW, both politically and religiously. I had somewhat of a culture clash myself when I went to college in central VA, coming from northern VA.

Nothing "likely" about it... It will be more conservative...

Hey yes there's going to be a bit of a culture shock but you and your kids will adjust. If they're good with it then hey.... And I'm with your kid on the historic stuff..... I'm eating it up with a shovel right now..

Word of caution: I too told my parents I wouldn't mind moving my senior year of High School and it was a decision that I have often regretted. But regret is a wasted emotion, so I tend to look at the positives of finishing up school in Illinois and there were some..... Just missed my friends.

[jaydbrk]

Originally Posted by jb124

Only thing I would add is that the Hopewell/Richmond area will likely be more conservative than the PacNW, both politically and religiously. I had somewhat of a culture clash myself when I went to college in central VA, coming from northern VA.

Yes, this is exactly what i am wondering about. We are, according to norms here, fairly conservative politically and very conservative religiously, but may not be considered so there. We've lived in the south and gotten 'in trouble' for speaking openly and truthfully about our thoughts on any and all topics, (without taking and certainly without intending to give offense) and, i guess, being ignorant of unwritten and unspoken social rules. Are those sorts of taboos and esoteric social rules the norm there in VA?

Oh, yes, we drove to Williamsburg from Hopewell and are thinking about looking sort of halfway in between where it is 'woodsy'. But it's early to think in that much detail.

Thanks so much for all the thoughtful feedback from everyone. Every bit helps!