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Old 10-08-2007, 12:31 PM
 
307 posts, read 1,424,512 times
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If you end up retiring what's to stop you from spending part of the year in the south and part of the year in PNW? Is he opposed to that as well?
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Old 10-08-2007, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,092 posts, read 14,883,796 times
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Depending upon the degree of intensity, when one partner wants to move and the other one does not, the one who wants to move eventually does.
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Old 10-08-2007, 03:06 PM
 
355 posts, read 992,679 times
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OMG...I couldn't live with someone who wasn't on the same page....we make our decisions together or there wouldn't be any us. We don't always like where we end up but at least we give it a try.

Also, when you discuss the finances...trust me there is never enough money...the more you have, the more you want, the higher your bills.

And so many of you sound way too young to be stressed in your relationships...wait until you are 50 something and have to make a major move...it doesn't get easier.

When I was in my 20's and 30, I moved quite a bit. It was easy then...I gave birth to 3 babies in 3 different states...moved when I was 5 months pregnant with no family around...it's all doable. If you put too many obstacles and ultimatums in your way, you'll never go anywhere. Do I miss my family and old friends?...sure I do....but they are either a phone call or a flight away and it's great to have company!

You all take care...and go with your gut feeling.
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Old 10-08-2007, 03:25 PM
 
307 posts, read 1,424,512 times
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I belive that DH and I are on the same page. We both want the same things, we're just figuring out together how to get there. i know there is never enough money, but i'm also a believer that you should be able to take care of yourself financially before you bring a child into the world. DH and I DO make decisions together. Moving is a big decision and he's just more cautious than I am about change. About being way too young to be stressed------I don't see how it could not be stressfull to be in your early 30s, wanting to start a family, working your butt off, and just trying to make ends meet, and figuring out if you want to pick up everything and move to a different state. DH does put some of his income away towards retirement, so I hope by the time we're 50 we won't have to work so hard.
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Old 10-08-2007, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
559 posts, read 2,121,022 times
Reputation: 299
Default At this point....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ness View Post
If you end up retiring what's to stop you from spending part of the year in the south and part of the year in PNW? Is he opposed to that as well?
Yes, he is opposed to that. However, his father is still alive, and he is closer to his father than anyone in the world. Who's to say what will happen when his father passes away? His dad is 91; he could live for years, as he is a very healthy retired Seattle firefighter. I dearly love both my husband and his father, so I just do the best I can to make them both happy and hope that one day, after Dad is gone, my husband will decide it's my turn to be happy and will move. He is a very kind man. I think I just have to wait to see if he loves me as much as I love him. He says he does, but saying so and showing it are two very different things. Again, I am just being patient at this point. I feel that sometimes things happen in marriages that test your patience, but I also believe you should definitely be patient. If God's answer to our moving is "no," then I have no doubt that he will give me the strength to bear it. I think I will continue to hope for this until the day I die, though.
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Old 10-08-2007, 03:47 PM
 
307 posts, read 1,424,512 times
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brightcopper -
i think that you have the right attitude about it. i always try to remind myself that DH and i are so fortunate to have each other and in the end that is what matters.....not where we happen to live. it's just hard when i get something in my head and then start to obsess about it.
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Old 10-08-2007, 04:03 PM
 
Location: East Texas across street from the lake.
99 posts, read 312,016 times
Reputation: 56
Default Compremise

My husband did not want to live in snow country, even though I have always dreamed of living in snow country. We compremised on East Texas, where it is cooler most of the time and we have big pine trees, hickory and zero mesquite..

My husband passed away a year ago. I do not regret having compremised with him!

I am planning on moving to snow country in the next two years. I am looking at property in different states. I will be fulfilling my dreams!

Good luck on your decision!
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Old 10-08-2007, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
559 posts, read 2,121,022 times
Reputation: 299
Smile Exactly!

Quote:
Originally Posted by texangelwings View Post
My husband did not want to live in snow country, even though I have always dreamed of living in snow country. We compremised on East Texas, where it is cooler most of the time and we have big pine trees, hickory and zero mesquite..

My husband passed away a year ago. I do not regret having compremised with him!

I am planning on moving to snow country in the next two years. I am looking at property in different states. I will be fulfilling my dreams!

Good luck on your decision!
That is exactly what I thought too. I do not regret compromising with him, but I am sure missing out on a lot of things that will never come again. That's the hard part for me. When my children start having children will be the REALLY hard part....
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Old 10-08-2007, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,176 posts, read 14,737,677 times
Reputation: 1318
Is it bad that I seriously think of (much later many years from now) if my husband dies - I'm packing up and moving back to where I want to be....and I actually look forward to this? I love him so much - I don't want him to die - but if he did it would make moving so much easier
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Old 10-08-2007, 07:17 PM
 
Location: East Texas across street from the lake.
99 posts, read 312,016 times
Reputation: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightcopperkettles View Post
That is exactly what I thought too. I do not regret compromising with him, but I am sure missing out on a lot of things that will never come again. That's the hard part for me. When my children start having children will be the REALLY hard part....
Focus on your family ! When it comes time for your grandchildren, they will have a new place to go visit, vacation and enjoy summers and holidays with 'grandma'...

Plan to take some vacations time going where you want to go!

I have grandchildren in Colorado, Mississippi and Texas. They all look forward to me visiting them and them visiting me!

I have always dreamed of being in a cabin, with plenty of wood to burn, plenty of food, some good music and enough snow on the ground to have to stay inside for a couple of weeks....
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