Most accepting area for a trans woman and her girlfriend?

[Diana Holbrook]

Originally Posted by thatguy950

Agree

The libertarian small towns in WA are far more tolerant and welcoming than extremely left winged Seattle

I would agree on that.

[bartonizer]

Originally Posted by mev

Aw yes. I meant to write that Olympia is nearly "half" the size of Bellingham. Oops!

Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was calling you out on it, just re-read it and wasn't sure. And I meant to ask that if you consider Lacey, Yelm, etc. it's about the same, though Bham's downtown area is much livelier.

[bartonizer]

Originally Posted by thatguy950

Agree

The libertarian small towns in WA are far more tolerant and welcoming than extremely left winged Seattle

Not generally to the LGBT crowd, so to apply your generalization to every situation-especially this one- is a little ridiculous. Even though I agree that "libertarian" conservatives are different than conservatives in the east, and while I fully agree that smaller towns can be more charming than big cities, and even that people in general can be more friendly, (though those are characteristics of all small towns in general, not just the libertarian ones)-I wouldn't suggest for a moment that the OP move to a conservative small town, considering the variety of progressive towns and cities in the area she has to choose from around here.

After your comment about "extremely left-winged Seattle, it's clear that by "tolerance", you're referring to the acceptance of a more conservative mentality and way of life, NOT "tolerance" like someone in the LGBT would almost certainly assume you mean. The OP's hangup with Seattle had nothing to do with how she would be received by the community, but a fear of crowds. I don't mean to sound too harsh; perhaps you don't understand how importan finding the right fit someone in transition or a gay couple may be. It's much easier to go through the process and/find others like you/blend in living in a big city, or at least a very progressive place where people won't stare or give you weird looks.

Sorry, it's an issue near and dear to me. I know it's anecdotal, but my brother's gay and my cousin's in transition and we talk about this topic all the time. Big cities- especially ones like Seattle known to be very LGBT friendly- and to a lesser degree, small progressive cities and towns are overwhelmingly the most desirable locations for relocation for the community.

[CrazyDonkey]

Exactly which "libertarian small towns" are we talking about? In general, small towns are much more likely to be judgmental, it seems to me.

[Haakon]

Originally Posted by CrazyDonkey

Exactly which "libertarian small towns" are we talking about? In general, small towns are much more likely to be judgmental, it seems to me.

More judgmental than Seattle liberals? Hardly, Seattlites are incredibly judgmental and intolerant of anyone who dares have a different opinion. Judgmental about different things, definitely.

[AleeGee]

Why do you need to be accepted? You should live anywhere you want to live. Who cares what other people think and say? I sure in the hell don't. I can't believe you're asking where to be accepted and your companion is going through a procedure to be female? If you two cared so much about what other people think of you, why go through such a radical change?
Stop asking people where to go and ask yourself where you want to be.

[danaruns]

Originally Posted by AleeGee

Why do you need to be accepted? You should live anywhere you want to live. Who cares what other people think and say? I sure in the hell don't. I can't believe you're asking where to be accepted and your companion is going through a procedure to be female? If you two cared so much about what other people think of you, why go through such a radical change?
Stop asking people where to go and ask yourself where you want to be.

Spoken like someone who doesn't have to worry about things. Good for you, but the OP's question is not unreasonable.

Lots of trans people are discriminated against in employment and housing, and there is a tremendous amount of violence toward trans people in some areas. Murder is a real consideration for trans people, especially -- I would imagine -- if they are just going through the process and look..."different."

As a lesbian woman married to another woman, even though we don't have the added "garbage" to deal with that trans people do, we still have to take into account "what other people think" for our own safety and ability to live a decent life in a community. Being gay or trans in the wrong area can be hugely unpleasant at best, and a death sentence at worst.

Please try to understand where the OP is coming from. You're obviously operating from a position of privilege, and while it's great that you have the luxury of not having to worry about the "need to be accepted," you might consider that not everyone has it so easy.

[NW4me]

Originally Posted by sweetling

Hi all! I was hoping someone could offer me some advice.

My transgender girlfriend and I (a woman) are looking to relocate to an accepting (at least tolerant, as outright supportive may be too much to ask for) area of Washington. What makes our situation particularly difficult is that my girlfriend has a lot of trouble with really densely populated cities. We actually visited Seattle last week and she started panicking almost the moment we got off the ferry; walking through the Pike Place market sent her into a full-on panic attack.

My girlfriend is pretty early on in her transition; by the time we'd be ready to move, she'll be done with her laser treatment to remove her facial hair, but she's not "passing" as female yet.

I'm wondering if you guys could suggest areas for me and my girlfriend to check out that might be a good fit for us. We don't necessarily need to live in a super LGBT-centric neighborhood (it'd be cool, but certainly not a requirement), just a place where we can live in peace and not be treated with hostility.

Thanks so much for reading through this, I'd be thrilled for any input you could offer me.

I'm no expert on WA, but I was in Bellingham last Sunday for the LGBT Pride celebration... and it was quite an event. Much larger than I would've expected for a city of Bham's population (~85,000). And I was favorably impressed with Bham in general. The bus system is incredibly good (I'm a transit geek), and the Fairhaven area looks like a fun place to hang out, but without being crowded. I don't think Bham is large enough to have a distinct LGBT neighborhood, but I think the city as a whole would be LGBT-friendly.

[sweetling]

Thanks so much for the feedback, everyone! So much helpful input. Definitely going to be looking into visiting soon!

[Angry-Koala]

Originally Posted by sweetling

Thanks so much for the feedback, everyone! So much helpful input. Definitely going to be looking into visiting soon!

Thanks for the updates, sweetling, and good luck in your search. From NW4me's post (and other's too) Bellingham does sound like a really good choice. I hope you'll let us all know what place you two decide on in the end, whether it's in Washington or elsewhere.