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I understand that you would have residual problems leftover from your parents' divorce, but this makes it sound like you are unable to function without seeing yourself as the center of their universe. Experience with a healthy romantic relationship could enable you to see this kind of wedding situation from a perspective other than your own.
Not even close. A healthy romantic relationship is immaterial to the discussion.
I have skipped all of my friends' weddings and my mother knows this. I had zero desire to attend and my presence there was completely unnecessary. The rest of her family skipped the event, so blaming me isn't accurate. She wasn't able to twist anyone else's arm in her family to attend. The logistics were done in the most self-centered manner possible. The amount of time it took to travel to the event was longer than the event itself, not to mention the financial cost and the emotional toll.
Without a doubt, this was excessive for a subsequent to a first marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
her daughter’s birthday was *very inconsiderate* IMO.
Did it cause a rift? I would take that personally if my family didn’t show up......or worse, his....it’s like they are saying they don’t support him...or you....or the marriage...
It can cause a rift, I was kind of offended. yes.
I'd always envisioned that if I ever got married, at the least, the parents would be there. It felt strange to me to get married if one has living parents but they don't show up for the wedding.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,570,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
It can cause a rift, I was kind of offended. yes.
I'd always envisioned that if I ever got married, at the least, the parents would be there. It felt strange to me to get married if one has living parents but they don't show up for the wedding.
That would be hard....but if the man you married stuck by you....that’s the important thing.......
It helps if both families can meet long before the wedding!! Since I’m getting married for the 2nd time, it’s really important to me to have a good relationship with his family.....
I think if someone has had an expensive, large first wedding, it's only in good taste to keep the 2nd or 3rd wedding less extravagant and toned down. I'm sure at some point guests going to the 3rd or 4th wedding of someone are all just rolling their eyes thinking "I wonder how long this one is going to last"? I know I most likely would turn down an invite to any wedding after the 2nd one.
And my biggest issue with weddings these days is SOME people put way too much emphasis on the wedding and everything being perfect and unique and they don't put enough into the actual marriage. I feel pre-marital counseling should be a requirement to get married, just like many other things in this country. Marriage is and should be sacred and not considered disposable unless they are very good reasons. But that is just MY opinion.
I know this is an old post, but just want to comment...
I am my husband's 4th wife. Our wedding was not a huge blow out, but considering my first wedding was at the county courthouse...it WAS more of a celebration/party/happy get together of family and friends. I wore off-white too.
And my husband's siblings and neices and nephews came, as well as MY parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. My husband's sisters even helped with the wedding. I am SO thankful that they came and helped us celebrate, and helped us. They could've easily have been of the opinion that since this was not the FIRST wedding of either of us, they didn't need to come, or would've rolled their eyes, or whatever...but they came.
And my husband's sisters treated me like a sister. They welcomed me into the family. Whatever their first thoughts were about me...they welcomed me. And for that, I was, and I am thankful.
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