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Hey there! I’m getting married on October 3 and had an RSVP that caught me off guard and before responding the way I feel, I’m just curious if anyone has had this happen to them and if I’m being “unfair” by saying no.
Anyways.... kind of quick story. Sent out the RSVPs and got one back from a couple (we will call them Frank and Susan) that included them and 1 other person. I was unsure who the 3rd person was since Susan told me that her 2 little girls (both under 10) wouldn’t be coming.
I reach out to Susan to inquire about the 3rd person and she responded that her daughter (we invited her daughter and her daughter’s husband, honestly, out of courtesy. They invited us to their wedding last year and are technically family, although I’ve never personally spoken to either one of them) has this “thing” were her best friend tags along to all the weddings she goes to and figured since her little girls weren’t coming, that she could add on her daughter’s friend to the RSVP. Without asking me. Just sent in the RSVP with an additional person.
I’m honestly pretty shocked, haha!
Am I being reasonable by telling her no, she can’t bring some rando neither me or my fiancé has met and isn’t in our family or friend group, or is there an argument that she was given 2 additional RSVPs for her little girls, so proper etiquette on my end would be to let her use them?
She's being spoiled and selfish, especially in a time like this, with so much uncertainty and danger lurking around, and she wants to bring a complete stranger to the wedding?
That's a hard no from me. Good on you for standing strong and saying no. Congrats on the upcoming wedding.
I don't know how you can phrase the "no" without causing drama, though. At first I thought you could just say you want it limited to invited guests, but then every single person's +1 there could and probably would be someone you don't know.
It would have been better if you didn't know the circumstances, because knowing this just makes me wanna say, "Grow up and go without your 'bestie.'"
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,706 posts, read 41,855,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetjess1951
Hey there! I’m getting married on October 3 and had an RSVP that caught me off guard and before responding the way I feel, I’m just curious if anyone has had this happen to them and if I’m being “unfair” by saying no.
Anyways.... kind of quick story. Sent out the RSVPs and got one back from a couple (we will call them Frank and Susan) that included them and 1 other person. I was unsure who the 3rd person was since Susan told me that her 2 little girls (both under 10) wouldn’t be coming.
I reach out to Susan to inquire about the 3rd person and she responded that her daughter (we invited her daughter and her daughter’s husband, honestly, out of courtesy. They invited us to their wedding last year and are technically family, although I’ve never personally spoken to either one of them) has this “thing” were her best friend tags along to all the weddings she goes to and figured since her little girls weren’t coming, that she could add on her daughter’s friend to the RSVP. Without asking me. Just sent in the RSVP with an additional person.
I’m honestly pretty shocked, haha!
Am I being reasonable by telling her no, she can’t bring some rando neither me or my fiancé has met and isn’t in our family or friend group, or is there an argument that she was given 2 additional RSVPs for her little girls, so proper etiquette on my end would be to let her use them?
This is an easy HELL NAW for me. Unknown person with a pandemic going on? Totally reasonable to not allow this, in fact for your safety it is imperative not to allow this to happen.
It used to be unheard of to have someone who wasn't named on the invitation come along anyway, but now it's pretty common for people to issue invitations for "Steve Smith and Guest", meaning a rando person no one has ever met would be completely welcome.
I'm curious about the daughter who has to invite the guest to all gatherings. Is this just something she does so it will be even MORE fun for herself - like a night on the town someone else is paying for - or does she have some kind of debilitating social anxiety that she can't be in crowds without support?
I'd say NO too & don't let her make you feel guilty. The audacity of people! Just because 2 other people you CHOSE to invite can't come, doesn't give the already invited guest free range to bring along any joe schmo. What if they bring some crazy wierdo to the wedding who's all uncouth & messes up things, eats up all the food, is rude to other guests, &/or makes a big scene & you don't even know this person. Even if Susan gets all huffy & says that you can count her, Frank, her daughters & daughter's husband OUT, just say GOOD, bye, & hang up!
So many people are such entitled, self-centered, non-empathetic, thoughtless, no-common-sense, a-holes.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 09-01-2020 at 01:10 PM..
I agree with telling them no. But there's something to think ahead about. Even if you tell them no and she lets her friend tag along anyway and they all show up at the wedding. What do you do then? Ask them to leave? I wouldn't hesitate but my wife, if we had had that big of a wedding would have probably stopped me just to keep from making a scene.
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