How would you handle this situation? (employment, collect, unemployment, job)

[Magnolia Bloom]

I'm stumped. I'm working with a woman that is sneaky, manipulative and petty and has the guys thinking that she is a poor victim.

I am in a four person office. Two guys that we work for, she is reception, filing, support for me and database update. I'm in between on the org chart. The first two months I was there, I heard continuously from her that the woman I replaced made her a battered woman the way she treated her. Telling me this would sometimes bring her to tears. I was warned about her from the hiring manager (off-site), but I really thought that I would have no problem. Boy was I wrong.

Several times I've asked her if she had any filing for a file that I needed to get out correspondence and she would say no. I'd look everywhere for documents and not find them. The next day they would be in the file. Now, if someone asked me for the filing for the Smith file and I couldn't find it, but then it turned up, I would take it to the person that was looking for it and say that I had just found it. But she just slips it in the file.

If I ask her to do something, she will only do it if I send her an e-mail and copy the boss. She is supposed to copy me on everything she sends to the guys in case I can deal with it first, but she doesn't until she is reminded, then she is good for a spell. If the guys aren't available, she is supposed to ask the caller if they would like to speak to me, but she doesn't until I remind her. Then she is good for a spell.

To try to work this out, I have made sure to tell her what a great job she has done with a difficult client. I make sure it is within earshot of the guys. I thank her for things when it is just the two of us, as well. She is so phony in front of the guys. "God bless you" if I sneeze when they are in the office, nothing if it's just the two of us. She starts work before me and empties the dishwasher on Monday mornings. One Monday I got in early and was making coffee. The dishwasher had not been unloaded, so I did it. She made a big deal about it to me- this was the first time ever (6+ years) that anyone had ever unloaded the dishwasher but her..... now she NEVER unloads it.

Every day it is little, petty things. So far I have ignored these things, but now it's to the point where what she is doing is slowing me down. But these little things are just that, little things. I am stoic and when I get stressed, I hunker down and just do what I have to, so I guess I give the impression that I can handle things. She, on the other hand, is the poor, over worked victim. And the guys lap it up. I am not good in the victim role, so playing her game isn't an option. I don't want to play games, I don't want drama, I just want to do my job. What else can I do to neutralize her? I know that I am letting her pull my chain. I need to stop that.

She's always saying that she is too overworked to keep up with the filing or to do what I ask her to, yet spends the last ten to fifteen minutes of the day several times a week with her back to to computer, meditating, with her keys out and purse at her side, waiting until she can clock out. Sometimes she turns out the lights in her work area. She could have a massage on the clock for all I care, but not when she she is telling me that she is too busy to do what I ask.

The issue that most affects me is her keeping me out of the loop and withholding information. It makes it seem that I am not taking the load off of the guys. My end of year review was great, but I know that I could be doing more. To bring these petty things up is...petty, but I could be doing more to take the load off the guys if she would just stop trying to undermine me. And since the guys are so sympathetic toward her, bringing up petty things will only make me out to be a granny basher, like I'm picking on her.

I need ideas on how to react/respond to her that will modify her behavior. Any ideas?

Help!

[seain dublin]

I think I worked with her.

A couple of things:

1) Show no emotion or frustration in front of her. She will thrive on
that. She wants to get a "rise" out of you.

2) You need to email your requests. You also need to start emailing
when something has not been done. I would CC the boss.

3) Document and keep a log at home of dates and times of these
types of problems.

[Hopes]

In addition to seain dublin's excellent suggestions, I'll add the following:

Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom

To try to work this out, I have made sure to tell her what a great job she has done with a difficult client. I make sure it is within earshot of the guys. I thank her for things when it is just the two of us, as well.

Stop making sure you praise her within earshot of the guys! Are you insane!?!?! LOL Definitely say thank you, but purposely praising for their benefit? If she deserves random acts of praise, do it privately. There's no reason to put on a show for the guys. They'll think you have two heads if you ever do need to bring up the pettiness since all they hear is praise.

Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom

She starts work before me and empties the dishwasher on Monday mornings. One Monday I got in early and was making coffee. The dishwasher had not been unloaded, so I did it. She made a big deal about it to me- this was the first time ever (6+ years) that anyone had ever unloaded the dishwasher but her..... now she NEVER unloads it.

STOP UNLOADING THE DISHWASHER!

Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom

Several times I've asked her if she had any filing for a file that I needed to get out correspondence and she would say no. I'd look everywhere for documents and not find them. The next day they would be in the file. Now, if someone asked me for the filing for the Smith file and I couldn't find it, but then it turned up, I would take it to the person that was looking for it and say that I had just found it. But she just slips it in the file..

That's not what's happening. She is behind on the filinga and sliding it in to hide that. It's not 'suddenly turning up.' After you ask, she goes directly to her filing and gets it into that file. She's doing it because she's afraid to admit that she didn't get the filing done. It's silly. A normal person would simply admit the filing isn't done. You just want the damn papers. Instead of asking her if everything is in the file, I'd ask for her 'to be filed' pile. I wouldn't even say why you're asking for it or what you're looking for. I'd just walk up to her and ask for the file, without any other comment, and then take it back to your desk, and return the pile to her when you're done. This isn't game playing. This is being direct---you want to know if there is filing to be done so get the filing pile and look.

[Koale]

Sounds frustrating to say the least. I think, maybe, a little tough love may be in order. Next time files are missing and then show up...start asking who had them. 10-1 she did and they didn't just show up. Keep a notebook on your desk that she can see. When something is amiss, jot it down when you know she's watching. Not that you're going to do anything with it, but...it may get her on her toes a little. Stop unloading the dishwasher. You may have to 'snip' about a situation now and again, not directly at her, but at the situation. If her games are effecting your job you certainly need to say something to her...tears or no tears. email and CC everything. Personally, if it were me, I'd hand her a box of Kleenex and tell her it's time to get busy.
Koale

[Squirl]

Who is her direct supervisor? If it is you, shame on you for managing her so poorly. If it is not you, its time to have a sit down with the management team and get clarity on many issues.

[Bluesmama]

First of all, do you know if yours is an "at will" state? Oregon is, which means they can fire you for no reason (except union protected, that is).

[Magnolia Bloom]

Yes, we are an "at will" state and no, I am not her supervisor. Since I was hired (late last year), the manager had been replaced by one of the guys in my office, who doesn't want to get into personnel issues. When this woman went to him behind the manager's back late last year, he just told the manager to make sure that my workmate knew that she needed to deal with her. She got dinged for going behind the manager's back.

I will stop praising her in front of the guys. You all are right- I was thinking that it would make her know that it was not a ME vs HER situation, but you're right, it does send mixed signals. I will thank her as the opportunity arises, but do it one to one, without earshot of the guys.

Today I had to laugh- The first of the month I had been in e-mail convo with a client that wanted changes made in their file and copied her on the requested changes. She made the changes and copied the boss, stating that she had spoken to the client last week and he had asked her to make the changes. The funny thing is, the entire chain of e-mails was part of her message. So, my first contact with the client was there- in the chain of e-mails.

Thank you for all the great input and suggestions. The most frustrating part of this is that we should have a rocking office. We all have different roles, there is no reason why we can't all just get along!

[Thursday007]

I take it you two are the only two women who work there? There may be an attention competition going on in her mind.

Whenever I come across repetitive, work related issues, which may be of a sensative nature to just one person, I send out a 'reminder' email to everyone, so no one is singled out. Outline things the way you would like to see them happen, particularly about chain of command of being notified of something first and then doling out the projects as needed. Mix it up with other things relative to other people and add some things that are working well in the beginning. Make it short and bullet point to use as a quick reference. Make sure the proper people are cc'd.

When, things are done well, compliment. When things are not - then be stern when speaking with her. Time to take the kid gloves off - we are grown ups here. Such as, "I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know when you find the filings for things I just ask for."

No matter what you do - there is nothing you will accomplish with this woman one on one that will make it better. Bottom line she may see you as a threat and that is her issue and it appears to be so with other people before you.

[Mystique13]

Typical "female issues". If she continues to sabotage and be an obstacle... just set her up to get fired. She's making it so easy, by the way. Maybe she want to collect unemployment. Save yourself further aggravation and "drama." I hate offices with other females.absolutely hate it. hate it. hate it.It's like high school all over again. half of these women have the emotional intelligence of a 12 yr old.

[Thursday007]

Or....go the complete other route and take her out to lunch once in a while then she won't know what do to.