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I'm looking for opinions..I'll start with background...
I started a new job about 3 or so years ago after moving to a new city. I left a wonderful job in the old city and still speak to my old boss and group I left behind to this day. When I started the new job in my new city things started slow as the economy was starting to tank (albeit I did not see such a poor economy coming!!). I could tell early on the office was not a good fit for me (little interaction, not a very cordial group, overall very cold but the office did/does good work).
As the economy really started to take its toll my boss and other superiors really started to lay into me...things like reprimanding me for leaving at 5:30 cause i had the audacity to have children i needed to pick up from day care (I was the first one in in the morning though), pulling me aside and saying "we should have hired so and so or we should have hired xxxxx type of professional" obviously implying they should not have hired me. My boss telling me he "had families to worry about"...but not mine apparently. There were other things, cold shoulder and stuff like that...even saying in an office meeting that they were financially struggling because they recently added $XX,XXX to the payroll...and I was the only new hire so basically they just announced what I made to everyone! This affected my health to the point of being hospitalized. Needless to say less than a year later I was let go and thus unemployed/underemployed for another 2 years after. Worst years of my life and families.
Luckly I have recently found a new job, great people and I am very happy there. Things are going well which is wonderful...but here is the tuff thing. I am finding that in this job I will, on occasion, have to meet and deal with my old employer on a subcontractor type basis. This makes my heart race and brings back the depression I felt when I was there. I would love to really lay into them...just tell them what a-holes they were and downright cruel. Not sure that would be good though!
what would be the best way to deal with this? any ideas? Should I just let it go as best I can smile and shake their hand? Pull them aside when they are leaving and tell them how cruel they were...get it off my chest? I don't need my current employer to know how i feel about them...I don't need to speak poorly of my old employer to them. that never looks good.
interested in opinions. I just wish I never had to see them again! oh well...such is life.
I was in a similar position several years ago and can tell you from first hand experience that taking the high road is the only way to go, Be cordial and polite, keep your interaction to the minimum possible and never, ever, get into any discussion about the past. Of course it's bound to come up but just smile and say something along the lines of, "Oh that seems like a lifetime ago", and change the subject.
Does the old company work for your comapny in this deal or does your comapny work for them?
I agree it woulod be best to bite your tounge and get through it. After a while you may get a feel about how your boss feels about the people at the other company and maybe you can vent to him if he also thinks they are a bunch of jerks but he needs their business.
Kinda hard to explain without saying what I do (trying to stay anonymous as possible!)...but basically we work as equals for a third party...so we have to work together for someone else.
I'm just dreading shaking hands with a smile on my face...while inside I'm screaming!
Kinda hard to explain without saying what I do (trying to stay anonymous as possible!)...but basically we work as equals for a third party...so we have to work together for someone else.
I'm just dreading shaking hands with a smile on my face...while inside I'm screaming!
They are going to get a FIRM handshake!
You know the answer to this. In all my 30+ years in the workforce, I have been treated unfairly by employers only twice. So I know it happens. And, as an HR professional I have witnessed it. My first personal experience (let me just say I never buy products from this well known direct marketing company that sells steaks and other meat/gourmet products out of Omaha, Ne.) taught me not to work for family owned companies if at all avoidable. The other -- I got over it but it still stung-- I knew I was walking into a dysfunctional company when I took the job so no surprises there.
A firm handshake and a professional exchange with this former employer at all times is what will carry you thru and keep you on the path. Just be polite and don't engage in any informal/casual conversation. Any personal references "Gee, your son Sam must be in the 8th grade now, is he entering the science fair again this year?" Your answer: "Sam's doing well, thanks for asking." And, by NOT taking the bait and having any exchange about Sam (tho you'd love to brag about him winning this year's science fair project, etc.) you will clearly convey that you are not going down the friendly path with them. I wish you all the best in the new job and sure hope the years ahead will be lucrative and interesting for you in the new position.
If I understand you correctly, by the time you left the previous employer, there was nothing beyond the common courtesy of good morning or hello, and professional interaction so you don't have any relationship with any of them, right?
Pick up right where you left off and leave it that.
As others said, do not mention anything to them. You like your new job so it is all good. You don't wanna risk it cuz of your emotional past with them. Keep it professional.
However, if you really need to express yourself, send them an anonymous, hateful, cuss full, email from somewhere remote and let them know wats up.
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? Should I just let it go as best I can smile and shake their hand? Pull them aside when they are leaving and tell them how cruel they were...get it off my chest? I don't need my current employer to know how i feel about them...I don't need to speak poorly of my old employer to them. that never looks good.
