Handling people who idle at rude...or just being bullies? (careers, how to)

[3DogNight]

A question that has come up for me again and again, in professional and 'out and about' situations when I see other peoples' workplaces...how to handle people who idle at rude and just get nastier from there?

Example: yesterday I was food shopping and there was a food demo woman (elderly) whose display was set up already for what seemed like a while, and barreling down the aisle like a scud missile is a cranky old man in a suit saying nothing but "YOU'RE IN THE WAY. YOU'RE IN THE WAY." I kept hearing it thinking what IS that obnoxious noise and it was this miserable old fart, being so nasty to this elderly woman...how about "I'm sorry [name], let me help you move that to the center of the aisle so we don't block anything!"

1. I don't care that 'this is the new workplace' era.
2. I don't care that they were the same age.
3. I don't care if he had a point, his delivery SUCKED.
4. There are no excuses for this behavior - none. Don't care about his stress levels, his day, his boxers being too small...

This is a workplace question. Because I've encountered it myself. Walking away has not worked over a lifetime of careers because those types become emboldened by it.

A female coworker who the second you walk into the room roll their eyes...a male coworker that speaks over you at 400 decibels...these are all types of bullying, I'm confident of that - but how to derail them?

[statisticsnerd]

I can tolerate the yellers better than the little (mentally and morally) women who smile in your face and then a few minutes later go stand in the corner whispering about you. It's that petty behavior that gets under my skin more than the overt verbal bullying.

[3DogNight]

Originally Posted by statisticsnerd

I can tolerate the yellers better than the little (mentally and morally) women who smile in your face and then a few minutes later go stand in the corner whispering about you. It's that petty behavior that gets under my skin more than the overt verbal bullying.

Agreed! My dad was a yeller, an 'overtalker' - it has helped me be well versed in this bullying... I just wait till they're finished and continue right where I left off.

I'm just remembering the elderly woman's face from yesterday, she looked like she was standing in the middle of train tracks and the 5.15 was coming - I felt sorry for her. She was clearly not someone who was accustomed to it, but bounced back beautifully afterward. I'll use her as a good example of how to respond.

However the catty, petty behavior you speak of is a bigger concern of mine. I notice it starts as 'idling at rude'...and it has sometimes been with people I've just met. My first reaction is to avoid, it has been a lifelong behavior for me --avoid these people. Those behaviors = curt answers, answering any question as if it's absurd if answering them at all, adding just that extra second of stare/glare after something has been requested or asked...all the little things that add up.