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My current job team constantly wants to meet/socialize and they always find a reason to : go to karaoke, go for food etc. I HATE such things. If the meeting is for food-only then I'm still ok but I hate these "event" kind of meetings because (1) I have social anxiety in such events (2) I don't have the time for 2 hours after-work almost every other week.
Alsom I'm not really anti-social. I do hang out with my grad school classmates, old friends etc. It takes me a while to get "used" to people and I'm not really interested in getting close to co-workers.
My question really is : How do I decline/avoid such situations?
I'm not sure if promotions will get based solely on event attendance? That's sad!
I have already gone to a couple of events, since they were lunch events and I did not need to wait after a long day and then deal with stress. The stress was part of my day as usual LOL
At my old job, on our own time, we were expected to go to company sponsored happy hours, play golf together, and go out to eat on a regular basis. We also had the stupid birthday cake thing once a month in the office where everyone stood around awkwardly while we would sing to the people who had birthdays that month.
I declined some of the after-hours social events and was reprimanded for "not being a team player." I didn't really see the point in going as my co-workers aren't my friends and all I cared about was going to work and doing my job. When they start requiring all of these "social events" on your own time (unpaid), that means they want work to be your life and I have a problem with that.
Fortunately, at my present job people do their jobs and then they leave at the end of the day. We have a short Christmas luncheon, but that is the extent of our "social events." No golf, no lunches, no happy hours, no BS.
Fortunately, at my present job people do their jobs and then they leave at the end of the day. We have a short Christmas luncheon, but that is the extent of our "social events." No golf, no lunches, no happy hours, no BS.
Exactly, this once-in-a-while thing is nice.
mmmm, as I type this text, I see my work email and there's a lunch scheduled for tomorrow(WTF!). Thankfully, I'm leaving out early tomorrow as scheduled. I would go crazy with another lunch with them.
I don't mind a few times a year. My husband goes out with a group of work friend 2-3 times a month, too much for me. Although I like his co-workers a lot and can understand why they all hang out together, they are a great group.
I've often socialized with coworkers, but at different times in my life. In my 20s, a bunch of us were always going out -- we went to concerts, happy hours, dinners. We all enjoyed each other's company. At at different company and in my 30s, a bunch of us frequently went out, but this time it was almost always lunches, maybe a few after dinner things. Never with a manger! At my last job, it was a lunch here and there, or a whole department birthday lunch. Most people used their lunches for errands, or had short lunches to leave early.
But no one ever pressured anyone to go. All people would have to say was "Sorry, I gotta get home, or Sorry, I have plans" and that was fine. Just recognize that the more these people get together, the more they will bond... without you. You might want to make an extra effort while at work to have a coffee or chat with some of them from time to time, to not be left so far out of the loop.
Just recognize that the more these people get together, the more they will bond... without you. You might want to make an extra effort while at work to have a coffee or chat with some of them from time to time, to not be left so far out of the loop.
True! Its just that I don't like the stuff that they do after work such as karoake, and golf. I would LOVE it if the activities would be my kind such as lunch/dinner/coffee or volunteer etc. Well, I would definitely suggest these activities too but I'm finding it so hard to get through these initial stages that I'm not really close with any of them yet.
Agreed. I had a boss once who was annoyed when we could not attend company functions (many were after working hours) because he often spent time at these events.
Of course, I will try my best to attend as many as possible, but sometimes could not show up for them.
I had another manager who could care less if we attended these or not. Depends on the company and management.
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person
It's part of the politics of the job. Be prepared to be left behind when promotions, bonuses, etc. are distributed. You need to go occasionally.
I agree that you need to go occasionally. I work in an office of coffee drinkers. I do not drink coffee. But, I occasionally bring in coffee creamer for the office, as it is a small thing I can do, and because if I randomly decide to have a cup of coffee at work, I should contribute...same idea. Go often enough to be part of it....
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