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If Johnnie has sniffles and a fever, he can't be in daycare. That's a fact. Someone is going to have to care for his sniffles and most of the time it falls on the parent (either the mother or the father). That's what PTO is for and I definitely don't expect my job to not deduct from it should I be out for that reason.
Many working parents can be effective workers and parents but there are limitations. I think it would be unfair to expect someone who has put in, say a decade of service with quality performance reviews, to be let go because there are differences here and there due to being a parent. a good worker is a good worker, regardless of whether they have a child or not. I have found that most employers who have good employees tend to work with them and the good employees in turn have been on their jobs long enough to know what's expected of them and how to work with the hand that they have.
I agree PTO should be used for that purpose, but disagree regarding allowing substandard performance to be tolerated for any reason.
The business is not there to cure Johnnie's sniffles, and anything barring it from running smoothly needs to be deep-sixed.
Listen to what I'm about to write and don't get all offended, OK?
Single women with kids get paid less than single women without kids. Why, because they are "less productive at work". Again, don't scream and stomp and yell. It's because they (quite rightfully so) work a bit less because they have to often leave work early or come in late, or miss work because one of their kids is sick. This is not a value judgement on my part: it's true.
Ok, still with me?
Married women with kids get paid less than Married women without kids. Why, because they are "less productive at work". Again, don't scream and stomp and yell. It's because they (quite rightfully so) work a bit less because they have to often leave work early or come in late, or miss work because one of their kids is sick. Because the husband isn't usually the caregiver in the married relationship. This is not a value judgement on my part: it's true.
Are you still with me here? Still wanting to scream and stomp and rip my throat out? Sorry.
It's a well-published fact, that women are less-productive workers--and single mothers moreso, than men.
It is not a value judgement--it is reality.
Now, from an absolute need for more money, this situation is perversely ON ITS HEAD. Single mothers need the most money, but they're less productive FROM THE COMPANY'S POINT OF VIEW. From a societal point of view THEY'RE BY FAR THE MOST PRODUCTIVE than anyone, except a large amount of their work--which SHOULD be highly valued by society--is unpaid, sadly.
To the original poster, you should make notes of when fellow workers leave and come, and when you're specifically asked to cover for them. When annual review time comes, make sure you note the times you've been asked to take on additional workload to "help the team", without playing up the reasons why.
Heck, many times I've volunteered to cover for the people with kids during weekends and holidays because let's face it: as long as I can make a quick entrance to scarf some turkey then leave, those have been some of the most drama-free holidays you can have!
To the original poster, you should make notes of when fellow workers leave and come, and when you're specifically asked to cover for them. When annual review time comes, make sure you note the times you've been asked to take on additional workload to "help the team", without playing up the reasons why.
Why didn't I think of this? Thank you so much for the advice as our annual performance review will be coming up in a few weeks.
My mom has the same problem but she does something about it. She is a manager for a hospital and she does her own recruiting. A good chunk of her staff make low-wage salaries, some even minimum wage. She tells me that nearly 4 out of 5 of the females she hire turn out to be single mothers and she hates it. Some are always late, always requesting for their schedule to be changed due to issues with their kids, and a lot of them tend to call in on weekends as well, saying that their kid is sick. She's like, "Really?" There is no one available on the weekends that can help you with them so that you can come to work? So she tells them flat out: I have a department to run, I need dependable people here. If being on time and reliable is going to be a problem for you, then I suggest that you find a work at home job because reliable attendance is a MUST, and not an option. I'm like "you go mom!" She has been complained on to HR and other hospital administrators but since she is a top notch person of value, they back her up 100%. Then most of them either shape up or quit.
Those who haven't had kids yet will have an entirely different perspective once they have them. Up until around age 10, they are often sick once school starts and then there is always something going on in the afternoon.......school orientations, school parent teacher conferences, sports, plays, dances, doctor appointments, dentist appointments...... the list goes on and on. It can be pretty stressful trying to rush from work, juggle and get all of these things done at times.
Parents don't need to go to every single one of these things. My mother was never in a position to rush out of work because I had a tummy ache or the sniffles. She couldn't make it to most school activities I ever had, and she stopped going to student-teacher conferences when I hit middle school and before that, my school had evening conferences. I don't see parents being able to even use that as an excuse unless they work and live far apart and need a lot of time to get there.
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact marriage and having kids is considered normal, socially acceptable, and is a 'given', whereas staying single and not reproducing isn't and can even be considered counter-cultural/taboo.
And I mean single, with no kids. It just seems like I'm always the one expected to stay over on a busy day while the family people can just leave on time and I have to pick up their slack. If someone calls in because a child is sick or can't find a babysitter, it seems like it's acceptable whereas if I ever do it, it's doomsday and I get grilled about why I'm not coming to work. Also, they can just leave early because the school calls and says come pick up your child because they're running a fever. Again, nothing is done, my boss will gripe and complain, but he does nothing.
I try to keep my mouth shut and not say how I really feel because I dont wanna appear like an anti-family demon or anything, but sometimes it can be so obvious that people abuse sick days and get out of work on very stressful days by using their kids as an excuse, and my company is too chicken to do anything about it.
Oh and this is what I love, when I dont sign up to work on a holiday, this is what I know has been said about me: "Why doesn't he sign up to work? It's not like he has a family or kids." Yes I do have family. I have a mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins who I would love to see. I shouldn't have to accommodate for you just because I chose to live differently than you.
Anybody else sometimes feel like I do?
this is your problem, you wont get anywhere unless you say anything. are you living your life for other people and their families or are you living your life for yourself? SPEAK UP
i just ignore it, simply because i dont care what people think.
this is your problem, you wont get anywhere unless you say anything. are you living your life for other people and their families or are you living your life for yourself? SPEAK UP
i just ignore it, simply because i dont care what people think.
^^This. If you don't want to work the extra time, say no.
Parents don't need to go to every single one of these things. My mother was never in a position to rush out of work because I had a tummy ache or the sniffles. She couldn't make it to most school activities I ever had, and she stopped going to student-teacher conferences when I hit middle school and before that, my school had evening conferences. I don't see parents being able to even use that as an excuse unless they work and live far apart and need a lot of time to get there.
If I have PTO, I can use it for whatever I wish. I do find parent-teacher conferences to be very important to me and they are usually only on an "as needed" basis these days (perhaps in consideration of working parents). Also, while "tummy aches and sniffles" aren't reasons to wantonly abuse company policy, you cannot admit a child into daycare if he/she has a fever that sometimes accompanies those sniffles.
Again, if I have PTO, I will use it. If I run out of PTO, then my husband will use his. The issue are those who abuse the system while either out of PTO or not using PTO entirely.
I agree PTO should be used for that purpose, but disagree regarding allowing substandard performance to be tolerated for any reason.
The business is not there to cure Johnnie's sniffles, and anything barring it from running smoothly needs to be deep-sixed.
I did not advocate allowing substandard performance. The person doing substandard work chances are was substandard before he/she became a parent and is using that to their advantage. A good employee is a good employee. Having children and attending to their needs within corporate policy doesn't make someone a substandard employee. My performance evaluations have not dropped despite having two children. Seeking flexibility (again within corporate policy) is nothing wrong as long as the communication lines are open and there are ways to get the job done. IMO, being a working parent is harder than when I was single because I have to juggle two very demanding things -- my job and my other job as a parent -- that take a lot of energy and time.
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