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Has anyone else ever felt like they were not "part of the club" in the workplace for not being into sports? I have, and I think it's absolutely ridiculous and discriminatory.
At my current place of work, all the guys are MADLY obsessed with fantasy football. These are full grown men with kids, aged over 35. Now, I don't have a problem with them being interested in sports and enjoying it. But, ever since they found out that I'm not a sports guy, they basically never care to strike a conversation with me, ever. I even had one guy automatically assume that I'm gay, when he found out that I wasn't into sports. Granted, he was correct (I'm gay), but still....it just goes to show how they think. They're not mean to me or anything. They are still friendly and all. But they just never care to talk with me, etc., because I am not into sports.
That is the modern workplace... a social club. Being fun to hang out with is more important than doing your job well or adding value to the company.
That's a stretch. Fitting in with the culture is very important is now recognized for its greater importance than years ago. However, it's not more important then being competent at your job, and employers know this.
Has anyone else ever felt like they were not "part of the club" in the workplace for not being into sports? I have, and I think it's absolutely ridiculous and discriminatory.
At my current place of work, all the guys are MADLY obsessed with fantasy football. These are full grown men with kids, aged over 35. Now, I don't have a problem with them being interested in sports and enjoying it. But, ever since they found out that I'm not a sports guy, they basically never care to strike a conversation with me, ever. I even had one guy automatically assume that I'm gay, when he found out that I wasn't into sports. Granted, he was correct (I'm gay), but still....it just goes to show how they think. They're not mean to me or anything. They are still friendly and all. But they just never care to talk with me, etc., because I am not into sports.
I think it's ridiculous.
I believe your job is what you should be focusing on and not fitting in with "the boys" since focusing on that distracts from your job which is what you are being paid to do.
Personal business and business business never mix well and should be kept separate.
Also they may feel they have nothing to discuss with you now because all they know and like is football and since you don't like it there is no common ground when it comes to topics of conversation.
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This is typical of some places but certainly not all. I wonder if there's something else that you might have as a common interest with them other than sports? If not, don't worry about it. Luckily we are a very mixed group at my office. The big boss is a golfer, and no one else is. One other person and I are into sports enough to chat a bit after in interesting game but don't do fantasy. Probably 4 of us are into cooking and share recipe and tips. To of us have toddler grandkids, and one has a toddler kid, so that generates some conversation. About 4 of us are into gardening, especially vegetable gardens. I have always found some amount of social interaction at work helps build cooperation and mutual respect among the team, but it's not helpful to pretend to be interested in something if you are not.
That's a stretch. Fitting in with the culture is very important is now recognized for its greater importance than years ago. However, it's not more important then being competent at your job, and employers know this.
Correct. If you fit in with the culture, chances are everyone will be happier and more productive. The job will be a little easier psychologically. The risk that someone will do or say something unexpected and/or offensive (relatively speaking) is lessened a bit b/c coworkers are more likely to just "get" each other. Everyone can just be themselves for the most part. In certain sports, there is this thing called "team chemistry". I think the same thing exists in some workplaces and departments.
It's not necessary to have a bunch of interests in common with other people (I personally think it's good to have people that have diverse backgrounds and interests because that may lead to a wider spectrum of perspectives), but there should be something there in your personality, character, life experiences and/or interests that allows for the possibility that you can connect and click socially with at least a few others in the department and company. It's not good to be the black sheep or the outcast on the team...that may come back to bite you later on. Most good employers have a workplace environment where most employees like, respect and are comfortable around each other.
But if the person is crap at his job, no amount of cultural commonalities will make up for that. Any manager who is at least decent and has some integrity will recognize that and take appropriate action, whether it's to warn him, put the person on a "performance improvement plan" or just fire him.
OP - your situation sounds like those guys have their own little clique. Anyway, if you like working there and have a good boss then don't worry about them and focus on your job. Maybe there's others there you can socialize with. One last thing...this depends on the company/boss, but it is possible that if they feel you aren't being social enough with your coworkers, that can hurt you in your annual performance review.
Oh, I mean it's not a reason to leave the job or anything like that. I have a good rapport with them in general, even though I'm not into sports. They probably just don't bother with me because it's not something we have in common. But they still treat me nicely and they're approachable and all that.
Oh, I mean it's not a reason to leave the job or anything like that. I have a good rapport with them in general, even though I'm not into sports. They probably just don't bother with me because it's not something we have in common. But they still treat me nicely and they're approachable and all that.
Sports are generally considered a "safe" topic in the workplace, and tend to be used to communicate in a social manner across many groups (across races, sexes, cultures, etc.). The fact that you are not necessarily excluded completely means that there is some larger acknowledgment that sports are "not your thing", but it appears to otherwise not be a big deal.
So, since no one wants to offend anyone, people tend to play it safe and say/do nothing that could be misconstrued. As no one wants to offend you, they just keep that talk away from you. Rather nice of them, if you ask me ....
Because no one knows you better than you, if you want to discuss other topics with them, you have to educate them on what it is that you like to discuss in passing. Think about what topics make you feel comfortable and feel free to discuss them one-on-one with folks. The usual caveats apply (no talk of politics, religion, inflammatory topics, etc.), but if you want people to feel comfortable with approaching you on other topics, you have to inform them on what it is that you like to talk about.
Good luck!
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