Miserable at work - want opinions please

[murph1982]

I have been where you are at and it is a terrible feeling. I worked for the most incompetent manager a man could work for. After taking blood pressure medicine and xanax I decided to begin searching for other jobs. Well, I found one and it has worked out very well. I left a corporation after 19 years. Nineteen years is a long time to be at a company. I earned more than I do now but for your health's sake it is not worth it to stay and take the beating. I never had a life either, never slept at night, on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It overwhelms you eventually and burns you out. Do not be hesitant to try something different either. Sometimes when you get pissed off you get more aggressive and accomplish more. Good luck to you! Please let me know the day you leave that obnoxious boss!

[veuvegirl]

Been there done that. Leaving in under a year is fine. It can get worse and not good for you personally or professionally.

[In_Correct]

Originally Posted by maria2015

I am 6 months into a "dream" job at prestigious company and I hate it.

My boss is over-critical, demanding, and regularly rude. The attitude is don't sleep until the work is done, no matter how much there is.

I don't mind the work itself but if I do something for the first time and don't get it perfect, I get threatened with redundancy, being fired, poor bonus, bad reputation etc.

I'm so stressed out all the time I cry in the toilets sometimes. All my past jobs I've not minded.

I have my appraisal objectives setting meeting coming up and I know they'll be ambitious. I feel like I can't cope with a year of worrying about not meeting all my targets.

I don't know if I should just not care and leave in a year, or just work all hours to make the boss happy.

Need some advice please!

It obviously isn't your dream job, is it?! Why would you desire such a job?

[Tonyafd]

Originally Posted by maria2015

I am 6 months into a "dream" job at prestigious company and I hate it.

My boss is over-critical, demanding, and regularly rude. The attitude is don't sleep until the work is done, no matter how much there is.

I don't mind the work itself but if I do something for the first time and don't get it perfect, I get threatened with redundancy, being fired, poor bonus, bad reputation etc.

I'm so stressed out all the time I cry in the toilets sometimes. All my past jobs I've not minded.

I have my appraisal objectives setting meeting coming up and I know they'll be ambitious. I feel like I can't cope with a year of worrying about not meeting all my targets.

I don't know if I should just not care and leave in a year, or just work all hours to make the boss happy.

Need some advice please!

Whatever you do, don't pour out your heart to personnel. Your boss will know what you've said before you get to your desk.

You need to formulate a good reason that you want to leave your current employer. My boss is a heartless bastard won't work.

[Mojave82]

Originally Posted by NYCTelevisionWriter

Life's too short.

Update your resume and kick your job search into high gear.

Your dysfunctional workplace will not change.

And remember it's not you, it's THEM.

Good luck!

Excellent advice and in my case, it's in high gear. Our assistant director further motivated me last week with veiled threats of dismissal or reassignment. Really has nothing to do with us but they need to make a change to show "Corporate" that they are doing something.

[ackmondual]

Originally Posted by Stagemomma

6 months vs a year? Those are artificial numbers. Start looking NOW. If you get something, take it, if you don't that's fine also.

If this were a relationship, we'd be asking you what is wrong with your self esteem that lets you allow yourself to be abused.

This is an abusive work environment. Get out!

Agreed with the "artificial numbers". For all we know, the next person looking at your resume may have some "1.5 year" or 2 year or 3 year figure that he works by, so doing 1 year may be the same difference anyways. It may be that they'll want to grab a good employee, and going by the interview, they don't care that you've only been there for 6 to 9 months.

There are just simply too many other variables too, like your next job may be even worse! It can be better. Dunno.

Best thing to do is to plan for the worst, but hope for the best. To that end, make sure you can document your competency as much as possible. Save emails that show you've been producing deliverables, are participating, etc.

Originally Posted by brownbagg

everybody going tell you, be happy at your job, but here the truth. all jobs are miserable, they all suck. It the grass is greener on the other side. a job only own you two things, pay for hours work and a safe work environment. so get over it. I have been at my job 31 years, i hate it just as much the first day as now, but all jobs suck. if somebody tell you they love their job, they're lying.

Agree, but with a caveat.... people generally hate their jobs, but it should be something that's manageable and not detrimental to your mental nor physical health. This is subjective too, as everyone has their own tolerances, and every job and commute is unique.

[SFJenn]

I'm sorry your boss sucks. If your boss sucks, then you need to find a new job. Unless he harasses you and you file a complaint. You could stick it out and look for a job. Write down stuff that bugs you. How much does he harass you? Are you the only one? (probably not). Be careful who you talk to though, you never know who is brown-nosing or buddies with the boss, or a snitch. How long has he been there? Has he always been like that? If he starts yelling in your face, touching your inapropriately, and acting strangely, maybe you have a case.
Talk to him and get specific answers to how tasks should be done.
There are deuch bosses who are on a power trip, because they feel they have no control themselves. Talk to him or her nicely and mention to him or her that once you are totally comfortable in your role, you can help him out more. Remind him that postive reinforcement helps also. Keep your emotions stable. Talk to a friend outside of work. It helps.
Good luck!

[DTWflyer]

I feel like you too. I work for a "prestigious company" in a "prestigious position". I've been there 10 years, I make low six-figures. I work absurd hours. I have toxic layers of management above me that no nothing but the almighty dollar. Work-life balance is an impossible fight.

At the end of the day the only thing that is keeping me is that I know I work hard, my clients appreciate the work I do, my team thinks highly of me. However I am close to my breaking point. I never get a "thank you" from my boss, I'm constantly accusing of doing nothing, and everything is always "over-budget".

I hate it. I've been in and out of counseling many times. I work for the one of the most disliked, hated partners at my company. He's causes many, many people to leave before me. He is an evil, evil, man. No one likes him, and frankly I hope even his family hates him. He is a loser of an individual, but apparently these are the types of jerks that get ahead in business. I'm tired of being thrown under the bus for others' personal gains.

[MJ7]

I have a coworker that sounds just like your boss, but the difference is they aren't my boss, they are just a coworker. I think it could be a huge lesson in your career. What if you stuck it out? What if you took their rudeness and used it to motivate you? Is there any possible way that it might make you a better employee? You might have to break out of your shell, your comfort zone, but I think there can be positives had from the experience.

The truth is no matter where you run to job wise there will always be someone you don't like. I think it's time to face those demons and learn how to interact with people you don't get a long with or attitudes that are pessimistic at best. It's all a part of growing and any amount of running and hiding from it will just be wasted time. Good luck.