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Go have an appetizer with them and a coke...they may even think it is a rum and coke...look at your
watch a lot because you have something to go to.
Smile and be so funny and great...Say things like , "Hate to go,but it was so
great hanging with you guys!!"
Do this every other month ...takes 50 minutes of your time.
It's all about company/department culture. You can go once every 2 or 3 times and drink something non-alcoholic, such as a Coke or juice. It's important to socialize and catch the "grapevine" chatter.
If you don't want to go, don't go. Just be honest and tell them "thanks for the invite, but I have other plans."
As someone that used to organize these lush filled happy hours, I wouldn't take any offense if people don't want to participate.
The exception where I believe saying yes is important is if this was a happy hour invite from your boss or upper management. Those are good to attend, provided it is truly a social outing and your boss isn't some weird creep or a big time drunk. If it's a normal person asking you to join a group of your superiors, then it can be very beneficial to attend.
But, in this case, I'd caution against 2 things. #1 - Don't drink very much (OP, doesn't - so check that box), and #2 - LISTEN far more than you talk.
Don't gossip, but if there is factual information to share, do that as lightly and casually as possible. And again, don't rip on anyone.
In my world, these management type outings usually happen when someone is in town visiting and the boss wants to show them a good time and introduce them to key members of their team. If you get asked, it's likely your boss trusts you not to embarrass them - and meeting other high ranking folks should be a positive for you - though it does come with risks (see above on oversharing and drinking too much).
Anyway, that may be a little off topic so back to just your co-workers. Go if you want. Don't go if you want. Only petty/nosey people will care either way - and you don't have time to worry about them anyway
One place where I worked another unit was famous for its after work happy hours. Within a couple of years there had been misunderstandings and gossip, affairs, divorces, lots of hurt feelings, suspicious promotions, the whole works. It made a real mess of their work week performance.
Going is optional. Maintaining professional boundaries is a good idea if you don't want to get caught up in drama.
My department likes to go out to Happy Hour every couple/few months , but I don't drink and prefer not to interact with my coworker in that envirnoment . I like my coworkers as coworkers , and prefer to get to know them in small talk . I'm a type of person to keep work and home life separate and try to limit my talk with coworkers about personal things and just talk about general things.
So my questions is : Does anyone else try to avoid outings with your department ? if so what type of reason do you give if you do it on a regular basis ? Right now I'm still new (under 6mths), so its not obvious but this is the first job that it seems like the whole department goes out and want to!
Also for those who don't drink how do you handle happy hour with coworkers? Because honestly I don't want to go into detail with them why I don't.
I only go to happy hour with coworkers I'm very close to so it's been over 10 years for me since I left my old job. I am new at my current position and I simply say I have a prior commitment. If you hesitate in the least they'll try to pressure you so I state it very firmly and go about my business.
It's all about company/department culture. You can go once every 2 or 3 times and drink something non-alcoholic, such as a Coke or juice. It's important to socialize and catch the "grapevine" chatter.
I used to work in a department like this and ^^^this is exactly what I did. About half of the people would leave after one drink because they had kids to pick up or had to make dinner, etc. so I didn't feel weird leaving early. If the whole group had been serious drinkers, I probably would have avoided it but if it is the whole department then there will probably be people like you that aren't interested in heavy drinking or staying out all night.
It's all about company/department culture. You can go once every 2 or 3 times and drink something non-alcoholic, such as a Coke or juice. It's important to socialize and catch the "grapevine" chatter.
Agreed with this. Even if you don't like doing, think of it as an doctor's appt, dentist appt, whatever. Something mandatory that is an investment in your future - but be smart about it.
Agreed with this. Even if you don't like doing, think of it as an doctor's appt, dentist appt, whatever. Something mandatory that is an investment in your future - but be smart about it.
This ^^^.
In some settings it doesn't matter. You get promoted on schedule; get a raise; whatever.
In other settings, you need to schmooze, and it is very important to be seen as a member in good standing of the "team". When the boss is looking to promote people, they might want to consider how well you "harmonize" with the group. What sort of "social" person are you? What do you do with your private time? They all matter in certain situations.
I appreciate how distasteful it might appear to you, but I would also point out that if you keep your ears open and your mouth shut you take a LOT more away from a couple of hours once a month than you invest.
Go along; get along. You can avoid alcohol, stick to your values, AND still be "one of the good guys". Its a good investment in your career.
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