Referee/umpire youth sports? (paycheck, paid, money, how much)

[Chemistry_Guy]

My wife wants to start youth soccer refereeing this spring as a part time job, probably young girls at first. She played for fifteen years and she knows the game very well. She thinks it will help her stay in shape as well as learn about coaching because she wants to coach our son when he gets older(he just turned one). She also said she would like to umpire softball at some point. The money is just a bonus but it is not that critical. She spoke with someone in a youth soccer league and they have a spot for her this spring once she completes a class.

I am worried that she will let the coaches and parents bully her. She is not weak willed but she has always been a good sport and I don't think she understands the lengths some very competitive people will go to to gain an advantage. I am not as worried about the instructional level games as I would be if she moved up to middle school or high school.

Is anyone here a ref or umpire? Any advice for someone who is doing it primarily for love of the game rather than a paycheck? Any particular advice for a woman?

[Pitt Chick]

Originally Posted by Chemistry_Guy

Is anyone here a ref or umpire? Any advice for someone who is doing it primarily for love of the game rather than a paycheck? Any particular advice for a woman?

A few family members referee/umpire (all females BTW!), and they all do it because they love their game.
There should not BE any particular advice for a woman. "Know the rules; enforce the rules" applies, regardless of gender.

[bondaroo]

I'm female, and have been involved in many different aspects of kids sports over the decades - played them, coached, officiated, and been on volunteer boards. Mostly in hockey, basketball, and softball.

I don't think there's anything different I'd tell a woman vs. a man. I think that over the years I've been tested by men in ways that they wouldn't try with other men, thinking that a woman can't possibly know what they're doing. But that's about the only difference.

The most important thing in refereeing is to be confident. With the rules especially, and that is on a whole different level from playing or even coaching. I know lots of super experienced coaches and players who don't know the more technical rules and procedures of their sport. You have to know the rules, be prepared to stick to your calls, and can't let parents on the sidelines rattle you. Refs are human, too, and it's okay to recognize that maybe you blew a call, and use that to make a better call next time.

You can make some money at the higher levels (my dad's high school/university basketball officiating paid for our family vacations, my parents told me when I was an adult), but it's time consuming and you have to be prepared to be constantly upgrading and learning as well as taking the time to do the games.

I've known people who tried reffing, but got too rattled by the situation to want to keep doing it. It helps if you like to take charge, if you really enjoy the particular sport, and you don't get flustered easily.

[jayguy01]

I refereed youth soccer for 8 years, high school for 11 and adult league soccer for about 6. Yes, parents of youth teams can be somewhat vocal, but overwhelmingly this is not the case. Especially if she's sticking with U6 to U10; the parents are there for the most part to support their kids and it doesn't get physical enough for things to get out of hand. Once you go beyond U10 you start getting into the more competitive local leagues and that's when things might get out of control for someone new and isn't too sure of themselves. The coaches for the most part aren't hard-nosed sergeant types, they're mostly parents, like you two. They likely know very little about the sport and are there just to volunteer because their kid is on the team. The chances you'll have a coach at that age screaming for fouls and trying to cite the rulebook to you is next to nil.

I think she'll be just fine and the moment she's out there on the pitch with the game going, she'll realize how much a breeze it actually is.

[Hemlock140]

I coached soccer and was a board member, also referee and umpires girls softball a few times. I'm male, but we had several female refs, and we did not tolerate parent/coach bullying at all. When reports, we would have a board member go to the next games with that parent, and with that ref, to observe. There would be one verbal warning followed up by a written letter to the offending parent or coach. We would follow up, and have red carded coaches, banned parents, and in one case even expelled the kid of the offending parent, when he continued to show up after banishment. It didn't matter whether a male or female ref. Most of ours were kids, who got paid. Adult refs were not paid, they were all volunteers.

[oceangaia]

I coached and refereed LL baseball when I was much younger. As stated here, you have to have a thick skin. Not so much outright bullying and berating at that level but you have to realize that you aren't going to make half of them happy. If she is the type that wants to please everyone and have everyone like her then she will have a hard time. What I found is you also have to be confident. You can't let anyone think you are the least bit unsure about your call or let yourself be convinced or pressured to change your call, or you'll be inviting a challenge on every call you make. Sometimes there will be run of close plays where all your calls go to one side and the other side will be outraged. You have to let it run it's course and not try to give 'makeup" calls. Another thing is you cannot let yourself get involved with the performance of any team or player. That's the hardest part because over time you get to know the teams and players. So when the poor kid who has struck out all year finally hits a slow roller and it's a bang-bang play at first, it's really hard to throw the out when his bang was a half-step late. But you gotta.