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Old 11-11-2008, 08:46 PM
 
Location: U.S.
9,510 posts, read 9,081,172 times
Reputation: 5927

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New Corporate Buzz Words

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.

Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."

Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.

Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Chips and Salsa: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa."

Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

GOOD job: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of attacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a Vice President at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
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Old 12-01-2008, 12:01 PM
 
Location: where i belong
414 posts, read 776,832 times
Reputation: 53
Default Once the experts ...

... only spoke Greek and Latin.

Thanks for enlightenment update.
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Old 12-01-2008, 01:01 PM
 
359 posts, read 1,197,456 times
Reputation: 176
Corporate America STINKS!
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Old 12-01-2008, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth/Dallas
11,887 posts, read 36,913,507 times
Reputation: 5663
Quote:
Originally Posted by ihatetucson View Post
Corporate America STINKS!
Amen to that! I hate my new job. The people and my boss are great, but the CEO is a complete arse and gives me grief every single day!
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Old 12-02-2008, 06:41 PM
 
359 posts, read 1,197,456 times
Reputation: 176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Synopsis View Post
Amen to that! I hate my new job. The people and my boss are great, but the CEO is a complete arse and gives me grief every single day!
Small world! my last job was the same scenario you are dealing with now! But as I always say, hang in there, and save some money for a rainy day.
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Old 09-02-2011, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,329 posts, read 93,739,305 times
Reputation: 17831
Most Overused Lingo at the Office - ABC News
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